


Pink

by redcupcake



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: A Lot Of Techno Cause We Love A Real Friend, Also Champ, Drummer Tharn, Im Planning Angst With A Happy Ending, M/M, Punk Type, a lot of emotional shit is gonna happen, but who knows, i lowkey ship them, just sayin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 57,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcupcake/pseuds/redcupcake
Summary: Tharn was pink, and Type hated pink,with every piece of his soul.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Tharn Kirigun/Type (TharnType)
Comments: 163
Kudos: 503





	1. The Hot Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for TharnType and we need more fanfictions of them, so here we go.

It was a mess.

Creating a mess wasn't new for Type, not at all.

But this time even Techno took a step back, like he needed some time to understand what just happened.

"You were going to kill him." Techno said it after a while, like all this time they stayed quiet, he was trying to make himself believe that Type didn't intend to kill that guy.He was just mad as usual, it was Type anyway, of course he didn't want to kill him, he just went overboard.

But not this time, Techno knew him too well to make himself believe to that lie.

He saw Type on that man, the view wasn't new, Type was punching someone as usual, Techno would get worried if it didn't happen for a day.But the thing in Type's eyes was different.

Something was different, the feeling was different.

"I should've kill him." Type said, his furrowed eyebrows were sharper than ever, his angry eyes were staring at the dirty wall across them.Anyone could say that he was angry, but Techno could feel something else; yes he was angry, Type was always angry for some reason, but there was another emotion.It was deeper than anger, that was why his friend wasn't throwing that angry looks at Techno, Type must have known Techno would see it in his eyes, he would realize Type was scared.

"What's this mess?" Champ walked into the ruined place with a frown on his face, he took of his glasses and scanned the place with his disgusted face. "Did you kill him?" He pointed at the guy who was laying in the middle of the room, there was a pond of blood around of his unconscious body.

"Almost." Techno sighed, he was still sitting beside Type, not so close but not so far away, he didn't want his friend to jump on the guy again.That was why he kept holding Type's gun inside his hand tightly.

"If he wanted to take that gun from you, you wouldn't have a chance." Champ said and Techno rolled his eyes.

"I know that's why I planned to shoot him from his leg."

"What?" Type looked at him with his furrowed eyebrows and Techno puckered his lips innocently.

"Fair enough." Champ said and Type sent him a glare before turning his face at the wall again, he was about to put the wall on fire with that eyes.

"He is just some useless punk, why did you get so wild?" Champ mumbled as he poked the guy with his shoes, making him turn around and getting disgusted even more.Cause Type really painted his face with blood.

"He was groping a kid." Techno said. "Type lost it."

Champ nodded like he understood, Type was always so ready to lost it anyway.But Techno knew there was something else, he just decided to not bring it up right now since Type seemed like a ticking bomb.

"So you got the name we wanted?" Champ asked, ignoring the half-dead guy and looking at his friends.

"We did." Techno nodded, slowly getting up from the floor. "We even learnt about some deal, he told us the place." He added and Champ seemed surprised at the new information.

"I guess he thought Type would let him go if he would say that." Techno sighed and Champ grimaced.

"It was that bad, huh?" He said in a low tone when Techno was close enough, they were both looking at their friend, Type's white t-shirt was ruined with blood, his hair was so messy and his 'Type face' was scarier than ever.

"2 weeks later, he gave the name of the bar and few other--" Techno was telling him every word they got from the guy, well, mostly Type.Techno was used to him and his personality after three years, they were bestfriends after all, Type didn't accept it but it didn't matter.

"Hey! Where are you going---aren't we gonna eat?" Champ yelled after him as Type kicked the half-dead guy once more before walking out.

"Let him go." Techno patted Champ's shoulder. "I think he needs to breathe before he murders someone." He added with a tired look.

"It means that we are alone then." Champ winked at him before putting his glasses on again and Techno rolled his eyes as they walked out, leaving the guy all alone in there.

"Stop flirting with me."

"What do you want to eat?" Champ threw his arm over Techno and the shorter one sighed deeply.He looked at Type's back who was walking in a fast pace like he couldn't bear to be there, no, like he couldn't bear to exist there.Something was wrong, Techno was sure.

~

"God damn it!"

After waking up from his sleep for the third time, Type cursed angrily.

"Are you okay?" Techno appeared on the stairs but Type ignored him.His friend tried to understand what was wrong, he asked it for few times but it didn't matter.Type wasn't saying anything and he knew well, that was why he went back upstairs instead of insisting.Type always kept his own problems to himself, he never actually asked for help.He wasn't like Techno.The only reason why Techno was in this business was his sharp mind.Champ and Type was good with punches, but they were not good at thinking, not really.He saw them making a mess at a bar and he happened to help them since he thought their opponents were the nasty ones.He didn't plan to get involved with a gang, it was the last thing in his to do list.He actually had it in the list.

"Type?" Techno looked at him suspiciously.

"What are you? My mom?" Type said in his usual tone and Techno smiled softly before walking closer.

"I guess so." He teased back. "Where are you going?" He asked since Type was all dressed up and fixing his hair in front of the hair right now.He was wearing his jeans, Techno could say it was Type's favorite jean since he often wore it but he knew if he would say it loud Type would never wear it again, he never had a favorite thing, Techno realized that was why he never admitted they were bestfriends.

He noticed Type's simple white shirt was revealing too much skin, but he didn't really give it a thought.

"Just gonna get some fresh air." Type said, not actually making eye-contact with him which caused Techno to think whatever was happening to Type wasn't done, it didn't pass yet.

"Right...see you..." Techno mumbled to himself since Type left without saying anything.He sighed and shook his head, would it kill for him to talk to his friend like every other person and tell what was bugging him? It probably would, it was Type anyway.

After becaming one of them Techno learnt Type was an orphan.Champ said he didn't even remember his parents, Type only remembered the ones in the orphanage, he never saw his parents, or searched for them.Champ was also an orphan, but he wasn't like Type, not even close.He was mostly cheerful, he had a light air around of him.But for Type, he had a dark air for sure, with dark clouds.Most of the time he was frowning, that's why they teased him with saying 'Type face' when someone furrowed his eyebrows.He was really violent, the exact example of a 'punch first, ask later' guy.But it wasn't so hard for Techno to realize he actually had a soft heart, it was also surprising for Techno, but Type was actually a good guy.It made him think what kind of person he would become if he wasn't an orphan but actually get raised in a family.  
Type thought about that too, but he never said it loud.

He didn't say most of the things he wanted to say,  
mostly.

Sometimes he actually let it out, just like in the nights like this one.

Cause sometimes his body, soul, whatever he got inside in his chest was pushing him to let it out.Sometimes he felt like he couldn't keep being a stone if he didn't let it out.At least for once.

Seeing that guy somehow triggered him and he knew he had to let it out, or else he wasn't going to be able to sleep, or breathe without having a pain right inside his chest.He needed to stop being a stone for a night.Then things would get better, it always worked.Type knew letting himself out for few hours was nothing but pleasure, letting himself out all the time would just bring pain, he experienced it himself.So he was okay like this.Pretending to be strong until the last scared piece inside him disappeared.  
He was feeling a lot better after the alcohol started to kick in, he could feel his cheeks getting hotter.The club was crowded and he liked to be in there at the moment, being drunk and not really feeling anything.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked.

Actually Type heard a lot of sentences that night, one said he seemed really hot, other guy asked if he could take him home, another one asked for his number.  
"What?" He chuckled, looking at the direction of the voice.

"Are you okay?" The guy behind the bar repeated, his eyes didn't seem like he was teasing or trying to start a conversation.Type felt funny to see his worried look and he let out a laugh.

He placed his chin on his arm which was resting on the bar between them and looked at the other guy.He seemed handsome, he was probably around his height, he didn't seem like a bartender at all but Type was too drunk to notice that.

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a while.He saw the other guy looking at him when he opened them again.

"I just need a good fuck." He said before getting up. "I will give you 10 minutes." He turned his back at the bartender after saying that and walked straight to the restroom.  
It caused other guy to chuckle since Type stumbled on the way.

"You are not gonna fuck him." Someone hit his shoulder as he was watching Type disappearing from his side. "The guy is already wasted, it's not your style.You don't do drunks." His friend said but then he looked at him with surprised eyes when the said bartender walked away with a grin.

"Are you serious?! Tharn!" His friend yelled after him but Tharn just gave him a wink before following the same route as the wasted guy.


	2. The Aggressive Boy

Actually, the night was going pretty normal for Tharn.He promised his friend to help him at the bar since he got Tharn and his band another place to play at.He was an easy going guy, most of the people he met liked him and his friend even said he could get more costumers if Tharn actually worked there as a bartender.

He was smiling and chatting, he was used to be at places like this anyway, nothing was special.But he saw a tanned boy drinking like there was no tomorrow, at first he got curious, he eyed him for some time and realized he didn't even answer the guys who approached him.And a lot of guys approached him, Tharn could see the reason.The boy had a muscular body, broad shoulders with a sharp chin.Even in a dark place like that he still stood out, he had a different air around of him.He wasn't Tharn's type, he wasn't actually eyeing him up because he was interested.

No, Tharn was curious.It was a boring night and suddenly an interesting boy appeared.

His friend was right, he didn't do drunk people, he did it for few times but he didn't really like the feeling.He liked to have sparkly eyes staring at his, not empty ones.

But he walked into the restroom and closed the door after him, spotting the wasted boy in front of the sink.He was washing his hands and under the bright light Tharn could see he was even hotter.

"Oh--you came." The boy looked at him after washing his face, it didn't help him to get sober for sure, Tharn could say it from the way he tried to keep his eyes open.

"I said 10 minutes---you are fast." He mumbled, seeming actually sleepy as he ran his wet fingers through his hair like he wanted to get sober up.

"You should've stop after the fifth glass." Tharn said and the boy chuckled, he seemed much younger when he smiled.

"A stalker, I see." The white-shirted boy said and Tharn raised his eyebrow, he didn't move when the younger got closer to him until he placed his hand on Tharn's shoulder.

"I don't want a lecture." The boy looked at his eyes and somehow Tharn felt like smiling, cause it was so obvious that he was faking it.But it was different, people used to fake kindness or smiles, Tharn was used to see a lot of them since he was making music, but this boy was actually faking the anger.

He was interesting for sure.

"I want a good fuck." He repeated but Tharn ignored it, he tilted his head while looking into the boy's eyes and cupped his cheek slowly.

"What are you doing?" The boy seemed surprised, his thick eyebrows got furrowed and he took a step back.But Tharn took a step forward and didn't pull his hand.

"You keep saying you want a good fuck but you don't look horny at all." He said with a smile and watched the boy's challenging eyes looking at him.

"Is that so?" He raised his eyebrows like a kid who just got exposed, Tharn actually wanted to laugh but he pushed it back. "Then how do I look, Sherlock?" He spit angrily and Tharn smiled.

"You look like you need a hug." Tharn said and watched the boy's eyes shifting for a second, but then he heard the door.He wanted to turn around to see who walked in but he got surprised, because before he could turn the boy threw him inside one of the cabins.

Tharn really didn't do drunk people, he really didn't like it.

But he liked the attitude of the boy, it had been a while since he met an aggressive bottom.It was obvious the boy was a bottom, a lot of people could mistake him as a top because of his looks but Tharn could say he was a bottom from the first moment he saw him.

So he kissed him back when the drunk boy crashed their lips together in a very harsh way.The boy's hands were on his cheeks, holding him not very gently.Tharn let him lead the kiss since the boy was on fire all of sudden, but after a while he easily changed their positions and pressed the boy against the wall.

"What's your name?" He asked while panting.This wasn't a good idea cause now the boy seemed even better.His puffy cheeks were slightly flushed and his thick lips were swollen.Tharn knew those guys approached to him cause the boy was like a snack but he also seemed cute in a way Tharn couldn't explain.He wondered the way this aggressive and manly boy would moan, something inside him said that he would look even better.

"Does it actually matter---Uh!" 

Tharn was right, he saw the way tanned boy's face relaxing when he palmed his crotch suddenly.

He really didn't do drunks.

But tonight was an exception.

"How about this--" He leaned his cheek against the boy's as he kept teasing, not sliding his hand inside the boy's pants yet. "--tell me your name, be a good boy and I will give you what you want, yeah?" He whispered as his fingertips tapped on the boy's hardness and he heard him sighing.

"Okay." He said after a while and wanted to pull back, that was when he felt the boy holding his wrist.

"Type." The boy breathed and Tharn gulped when he heard the shaky tone.It had been really long since he got turned on like this, usually he liked cute boys, this didn't fit his taste.

"Please." The boy said when he tugged on Tharn's wrist and fuck Tharn for that, but he wasn't a guy who could refuse a request like that.Especially in that tone.

He crashed their lips together again but this time the boy, Type, wasn't aggressive like before.His head was leaning against the wall and Tharn liked the way he was clinging onto his shoulders cause he had nothing else to hold on.

It was just a handjob, he still didn't fuck drunk people, it didn't count.

"Don't look at me like that." Tharn smiled when the boy glared at him after few minutes. "I wouldn't fuck you in a toilet." He said, knowing Type wanted a fuck but only got a handjob instead.

"Then I will go out and find someone who will do it." He spit, the flushed and shaky breathed boy was completely gone, nobody actually would believe he could have that pure face while breathing softly since his eyes seemed like flames right now.Tharn actually liked it.

"Or--" He grabbed the boy's phone from his hip pocket easily and saved his number as Type glared at him. "--you can call me." He handed him the phone with a bright smile.

"In your dreams." Type said before walking out.It was supposed to a mean comment but Tharn was still smiling.

"What happened? Do I actually wanna know if you fucked a guy in my bar's toilet? I'm not sure." His friend mumbled more to himself when Tharn came back.

"I don't fuck in toilet, you know it." Tharn said, scanning around to see if the boy was actually doing as he said and looking for someone else.

"Yes, but you seemed like you got captivated by him---Don't look around with those eyes, he stormed out."

Tharn let out a sigh, he didn't really want to imagine the boy getting fucked in the toilet by someone else.

"What?" His friend teased with a chuckle as he saw Tharn smiling.

"I kinda liked him." Tharn said and earned a slap on his back, chuckling softly.

-

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Have you gone mad?!" Techno was yelling angrily, and making Techno angry was a difficult thing to do.

"He is just like you----he is working for someone! It's not like he is a goddamn head of the gang!" He screamed and Type kicked the chair, making it fall on the floor loudly as his friend furrowed his eyebrows at him.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but you need to go and fucking relieve that stress----you can't work like this."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Type spit but Techno just sighed, rubbing his face as his friend walked out of the place, leaving him with another half dead body.

"Hey---Don't call me baby--we are not dating---shut up and come here, Champ." He desperately called the other guy, he wasn't strong enough to handle with that body and his sweet friend wouldn't come back for sure.

Type didn't really think too much when he walked inside the same bar again.He needed a fuck, he knew himself, he needed to have sex with someone to stop thinking about that guy.Earlier that guy triggered his memories and he couldn't get enough sleep because of the nightmares he kept seeing, they were not dreams, Type experienced that nightmares when he was in the orphanage and it wasn't easy, no, it wasn't even difficult, it was beyond that.After a while he felt like he couldn't keep living like that, he was stuck with the memories of himself being so scared, helpless, everything he hated, and those things didn't really leave him alone.But it all happened so fast, it was the first time he let another man touch him after that guy, he had to, he felt like losing his mind, the only solution he could find was this and he wasn't even sure if it would work.But it worked.It made the dark clouds around him disappear for a while, made him feel like this was how he was supposed to feel.Type's way of dealing with this was like that, letting another man touch him to feel good, so he would think that it wasn't a nightmare like before, it passed.

But it wouldn't last for long.

"Stop it." He pushed the guy who was busy with kissing his neck.

"Move----I said move!" He pushed him away this time since the stranger didn't actually pulled away.

"What's wrong with you? Hey--" The man got surprised cause Type seemed like he also wanted this when he came to restroom with him.

But he felt like he couldn't breathe.This also happened before, when he tried it for the first time.Cause at that time the guy was pretty rough and he made Type feel like before.

"Don't touch me!" He quickly pushed the guy's hands away when the other tried to touch him again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Type didn't mind him, he quickly opened few buttons of his shirt cause he felt like he had hard time with breathing, all of sudden everything felt dizzy and he wasn't even that drunk.

"You also want it, don't you? Come on." The guy grabbed his wrist, Type didn't realize it since he was too lost in his own world but he could be the hottest guy in that place, of course the guy didn't want to go back since he came this far.

He tried to take a deep breathe and stay calm when the guy squeezed his wrist, getting closer to him again as he leaned Type against the wall.

"Stop touching me." He said when the guy's hands kept roaming around of his body but this time his tone was too weak, he was taking deep breathes like it was getting worse, he was starting to feel little again.

"Let me go." He said but all of sudden his hands didn't move, he was strong enough to give that guy a punch and walk out but he saw his own hands trembling as he tried to grab him by shoulder.

"Please let me go." He mumbled as he closed his eyes and saw himself in that dark room, the guy who was working in the orphanage took him to that room again, Type didn't even know the meaning of the things he did at first.Until it started to hurt like hell.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" 

Suddenly he felt the weight against to his body disappearing, he heard some voices, someone walked in and probably realized the guy was forcing himself on Type.But it didn't matter at the moment, he didn't even open his eyes to see what was happening.

He slid down, his knees were too weak for him to keep standing like that.

"No, no---no no--" He mumbled as his palms covered his face, he was shaking his head like he tried to get rid of the memories but it was too late.He wasn't strong enough, he was being strong for a long time and this time his method didn't work.What he was going to do from now on if this wouldn't work? How could he live like that?

"Type?"

He got surprised when someone said his name and he was about to look up to see who it was but the hand on his arm irked him.He quickly shoved it away, causing other guy to get surprised at the extra reaction.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He stood up but couldn't move, he felt like the floor under his feet was slipping away, everything was too much all of sudden and Type didn't know how to handle with this.It was supposed to work, maybe after years his method also lost it's effect, maybe he was finished.

"Type, what's wrong? Why did you let him?" The guy asked and Type finally focused on his face, recognizing him.

"I..--didn't let him." He looked at him, his forehead was shining with sweat, he seemed like someone else, he wasn't the confident and cocky boy Tharn saw that day.

'Why did you let him?' He remembered those words, the manager of the orphanage told him that.He didn't ask if he was okay or anything else, he asked that first.

"I didn't let him!" Type suddenly grabbed Tharn's collar. "Why would I let him?!" He screamed angrily and Tharn was too confused, he didn't know what was happening but he could say it wasn't something simple.

"Are you okay?" Tharn changed the question, he asked the same question he asked that day and Type pushed him away before releasing his collar.

"It's none of your fucking business." He spit angrily before walking out, he felt like he could collapse any second but he had to walk out, he had to get the fuck out of there.

The first thing he did when he was finally out of the club was breathing.He took a deep breathe, his sweating was worse and he sat on the sidewalk until his breathing went to normal.

This didn't happen for a long time cause he kept fucking around when he felt like this explosion was close, but Type could sense it, it wasn't working anymore.

"It will work, it has to work." He mumbled to himself before finding another place this time.Finding another guy wasn't difficult, but it didn't work out either, this guy was even worse than the other one, everything he did was too rough and Type cursed so hard after leaving the place.All the people in this places were rough, they came there to fuck, and it wasn't a problem before, why it started to be a problem? What he was supposed to do? If he couldn't sleep tonight he was going to lose his mind, it had been days, Type was strong, but he wasn't that strong, nobody was that strong.

He felt like he was losing his mind, it was past midnight when he threw himself inside the familiar bar again.

'Please be here, please be here---I don't know what else I can do.' he kept chanting inside his head as he kept looking around to spot the guy he pushed away earlier.He felt like he could throw himself in front of a car if he wouldn't be able to get out of his mind right now.Because his mind was dark, all he could see was the big rough hands which used to hurt him for a year, he could remember everything, every detail he was dying to forget and living with them for one other day wasn't a choice, Type had to find a way.

"Tharn." His friend nudged him when Tharn was busy with practising, it took a second for him to put the guitar down.

"You guys keep going." He said, locking eyes with the boy who seemed more awful than the way he left there hours ago.

"Are you--" Tharn couldn't finish his sentence, he wanted to ask many questions, he really thought he wouldn't see the boy again since he seemed really angry earlier.But the tanned boy who was about to punch him earlier, grabbed his cheeks and locked lips with him.

"What the actual fuck--" Tharn's friends were looking at the sight with surprised eyes.

"Hey hey---are you drunk?" Tharn grabbed his arms and pulled his head away from the kiss to take a look at his face.He was really worried earlier cause it seemed strange, Type was strong and aggressive enough to beat that guy, but he seemed too scared and weird.Something was strange.

"I never got this much drunk before." Type said and he was honest, this was the longest night he had, he kept throwing himself into places, onto guys to find an exit but it was useless and he was one step away from giving up.

"You don't look okay." Tharn said as he caressed the boy's arm and Type looked at his arm, watching the guy's hand resting on it so gently.It didn't give the same feeling as the other guys.

"I don't even know why I came here." He mumbled more to himself and pulled away, he wanted to go, he had to go, this was too complicated than he could handle and Type hated complicated, he was a simple guy, he just needed a solution to get relieved.

"Hey--" Tharn grabbed his arm, not letting him go. "It was a rough day, huh?" He asked with a soft voice but he had to move closer since the music got louder than before and people around them were actually enjoying the place.

"Are you always this stupid?" Type asked all of sudden, his eyebrows were furrowed again.

"What do you mean?" Tharn's lips curled into a smile, somehow he felt like smiling everytime the boy made that angry face.

"You can't be this nice to everyone, they will take advantage of it." Type said with an annoyed expression, like the way he cared for a stranger was actually annoying him.

"Then take advantage of it." The guy said with a smile and Type got surprised when he felt a hand pressed against to his back, next moment his chest bumped against the other's and when he tried to pull back the hand on his back kept him there.

"Let me go."

"You kissed me all of sudden, at least you owe me this dance." The guy said to his ear and Type sighed, he was annoyed.He didn't like nice people, they were just faking it.He especially hated nice people cause he knew they were just nice because they wanted something, after getting to know them you would see they were not really nice.It was annoying him.

"You didn't call." Tharn said after a while, both of his hands were on the boy's back as he slowly rocked their bodies.Nobody actually cared about them since it got really crowded.

"I never said I would." Type answered and when the guy sighed before leaning his cheek against Type's, he felt strange.The sigh was so soft and the stroking on his back was even softer than that like the guy actually liked their position.

"Tharn." He said against to Type's ear.

"Nobody asked." Type said in an annoyed tone and he gulped when he felt the guy's, Tharn's, smile against to his cheek.He didn't really got offended by his comments and it was new.Other than Techno everyone would get irritated by his replies.

"Are you single?" The guy asked after a while and Type didn't realize he wasn't feeling tensed and nervous as before, he was feeling calmer and better like the guy wouldn't hurt him, no, more like nobody would hurt him when he was there.It was actually weird, he never liked nice people, they were the worst ones.He didn't even know this guy, but something about him made Type feel better, so he held onto that cause he didn't have any other option.

"Do I look married to you?" He said without thinking, it was like an automatic reply, he wasn't even angry at the moment but his mouth always went faster than his mind.

He was cursing at himself when the guy's hold loosened, he was finally feeling like he could breathe but his dirty mouth was about to ruin it.

"Can I take you out sometime?" Tharn asked with a smile, he didn't seem annoyed or bored like Type thought and his sudden question surprised him.

"I didn't make you cum that day, I also didn't call you, I was almost punching you today and do you want to take me out?" Type asked with his furrowed eyebrows and he tried hard to keep that face when the guy chuckled, damn, he was annoying but he was really handsome.

"You're different." He said after his soft chuckle and Type kept having that angry face when the guy's palm cupped his cheek. "I like it." He said while looking at him like Type wasn't someone anyone would walk away from, he was definitely the guy nobody wanted to get involved with but this guy seemed crazier than him.

"You can't." Type said but Tharn moved his face closer to his, not letting his cheek.

"Can I take you out someday?" He asked again, Type hated the way corner of his lips curled up like he liked Type's answers.

"No, you can't." He repeated but he wasn't actually angry, he didn't even feel like freaking out like how it happened with those other guys.

"Type~" He said in a whiny tone but Type kept staring at him, he was trying hard to keep his 'Type face'.But he wasn't really successful since he had the worst night ever, and Tharn saw his mad face before, he could tell right now Type wasn't really irritated.

He didn't push him away or pulled himself out of his embrace when Tharn rubbed his nose on Type's softly before capturing his lips.It was the softest kiss of that night, the softest thing happened that night and finally Type wasn't feeling like not being able to breathe.So he let it go, he answered the kiss after closing his eyes.He didn't even notice his hands grabbing the guy's shoulders, his body was too tired after all the things happened in one night, he needed to relax, he needed to get out of his own mind.

He never actually kissed a guy like this, he would only kiss them while having sex, he never even flirted with a guy.It was just his way to keep living and getting rid of his memories for a while.

But this was different, the guy's moves were just too smooth, he didn't actually feel bugged by the hand on his cheek.But of course he wouldn't admit it.

"It's fine." Tharn said and Type got surprised, his furrowed eyebrows were back when the guy leaned his cheek against his again.He was making the softest moves like it was nothing.

"It will be better tomorrow." Tharn said as he hugged the boy again and stroked his back like he could actually realize something was wrong.

Type didn't make a smart comment, he didn't hug him back either, he just let him stay close like that as the people around them kept having fun.

At least there was still a way, someone else than that guy was touching him right now and erasing the memories of that guy.Type was able to breathe, and that was the only thing that mattered.

  
-

"Yes---yes he didn't try to cut anyone's throat today.Maybe he got laid or something---he is fine." Techno was talking to Champ on the phone again after checking Type.He was whispering as he slowly went upstairs again, Type was finally sleeping, his eyebrows were still furrowed but at least he wasn't punching things or trying to kill someone, he was finally in his bed.

-

"Are you sure you are okay? Boss said he really doesn't want any half dead bodies, so you better--"

"Shut the fuck up, I get it." Type glared at him and Techno made a gesture to zip his mouth up, knowing his friend would smack him soon.

They were going to the place the other guy told before, they learnt about the deal and Techno's role in this was talking to people around, he could learn anything from anyone he wanted, he had that ability and Type would punch people for him if it was necessary, so it was a good team work.

"God damn it." Type suddenly said as they walked in the bar, they came there for the first time since it was pretty far away from the flat they were staying at.

"What happened?" Techno looked at him with a confused face, then looked around to understand what was wrong.

"I will wait outside--"

"What---wait! What if something--" He tried but Type stormed out after seeing the familiar guy on the stage.Tharn didn't see him since he was talking to someone else but Type saw him very clear since the stage had more lights.

"So he is a drummer? Damn it." He mumbled to himself, finding a corner to stand.

Soon Techno managed to take the guy out, they were looking for him since Champ said he was a rookie and it would be easy to frighten him.Type really didn't care about what they were looking for, he just found the people they wanted and learnt the things they wanted from them.As long as he was getting paid, he was okay with it.Sometimes they had to collect money from the ones being persistent, but he usually did that with Champ, Techno didn't really like the stress.

"I already asked nicely." Type's patience were running out as the boy kept saying he didn't know it.He grabbed his collar and hit the skinny boy against the wall, Techno grimaced cause it seemed like it really hurt.

"I really don't know it! I swear!" The boy shut his eyes tightly, seeming really scared and it caused Techno to turn away, he really didn't handle stress very well.

"Just tell me and--"

"What's happening here---Type?" Suddenly the person he didn't want to see that night appeared on the back door and Type cursed under his breathe, still holding the boy's collar tightly and not letting him move.

"P'Tharn!" Younger one called his name like his hero just walked in.

"You know him?" Techno asked in a confused tone, his eyes quickly scanning the handsome stranger.

"What are you doing?" Tharn asked as he casually walked closer and grabbed Type's arm, it caused Techno to got surprised and make a funny face.

"Don't touch me." Type warned and Techno's face went funnier like he was watching something interesting cause the guy didn't move away, instead he squeezed Type's arm.

"Let him go." He said in a steady tone and now Techno's eyebrows were raised cause Type still didn't punch him and it was really interesting.

"Mind your own business." Type glared at him and then looked at Techno, his friend got the signal after few seconds and grabbed the stranger's arm with a weird laugh.

"Ahh...---it's just---it's not like we are gonna hurt him, he knows something we want to know so...---what's your name? You are the drummer right?" He asked curiously but shut his mouth after Type sighed loudly.

"What?" Tharn seemed surprised as he looked at the scared boy. "What do you know? Is it about---don't tell me that you got involved with those guys." Handsome stranger seemed angry, Techno was watching his every move as Tharn looked at the younger boy.

"I'm sorry I was just--" He tried to move but it caused Type to grab his collar more tightly and hit his back against to wall again.

"Type!" The drummer yelled and before Techno could grab him, he pushed Type away from the boy and stood between them. "What's wrong with you?"

"I told you to mind your own business." Type said in his usual tone, with his usual irked face and Techno gulped when his friend grabbed Tharn's collar this time.Cause the drummer seemed really muscular, he could knock all of them down without a scratch.But he didn't do anything when Type grabbed him, which was also very interesting.

"Calm down and let me talk to him." He said and Techno was surprised for the nth time in that night.

"P'!" The boy whined as he grabbed Tharn's shoulders, standing behind him.

Techno saw Type looking at the boy's hand which was resting on the drummer's shoulder and he noted, it was interesting indeed cause Type's eyes lingered there more than it was supposed to.

"You have 10 minutes, or else I'm beating him up until he tells me what I want." He said, looking directly at the scared boy behind Tharn.Techno watched the drummer not replying but wrapping his arm around of younger's shoulder and pulling him inside again.

"What if he lets him run away?" Techno asked after they walked in and Type shook his head no.

"He is too nice for that." He mumbled and Techno pressed his lips together, moving closer to his friend.

"Who is he exactly?" He asked curiously, realizing Type didn't walk in because of him earlier.

"Hey---yes---I will text you after we get it." Type ignored him as he called Champ and Techno rolled his eyes, he just wanted to get answers but it was impossible with Type, as always.It was nice that he was smart, he would always get answers one way or another.

"Here." After few minutes the 'too nice' drummer walked out again, this time he was alone. "He wrote it down." He said before handing the paper to Type and Techno's eyes kept travelling between his friend and the other guy, he was curious.

"Are you expecting a thanks or something? I was going to learn it anyway." Type said as he took the paper and Techno closed his eyes, sighing tiredly, this bitch really had to use that dirty mouth.

"Thank you, don't mind him." He said to him and Tharn gave a small nod.

"You didn't call." He said to his friend as Type was texting it to Champ.

"I never said I will." Type said coldly and Techno's eyes went wider when the broad chest guy walked closer to his annoying bestfriend.

"Type." He called his name in a tone that made Techno even more curious.He never saw someone who talked to Type for this long, nobody else than him and Champ.

"Let's go, we are done." He ignored the guy as he looked at Techno and the poor boy could only nod as he followed Type quietly.He turned around and placed his hands together, making a sorry gesture at the drummer.He saw him nodding with a tired smile, he seemed sad about what Type just did.

"Just shut up." Type said when they were on the bus.

"I wasn't even talking." Techno looked at him.

"You were thinking, I know what you are thinking." He glared at him before sighing. "I met him at a bar and he is nobody, okay?" He said, knowing Techno would never stop it.

"He seems nice, why did you act like a dick? He didn't even say anything." Techno said and Type furrowed his eyebrows before looking at him.

"He is just being too nice, it's annoying." He said before turning his head to the window and Techno looked at him like he was looking at an idiot.

"Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? How many nice people do we met in a day? Like---zero? What the hell--You were being rude to him for nothing." He said but Type rolled his eyes, not making any other comment.

He was confused about Tharn.The drummer actually saved him that night, even Tharn didn't know it but he saved him that night, cause that night Type felt like drowning and nobody was actually able to help.But still, he was too nice and Type hated it.Also there was another thing he couldn't say loud.

He didn't really know how to be nice.

What he was supposed to do when Tharn appeared and asked him to let go of his friend? He didn't know any other way, he was just doing it in the way he knew.

"God damn it----I don't owe him anything." He mumbled angrily as he turned to other side in the bed.He was trying to sleep for a while but the way Tharn looked at him as he called his name was bugging him.

"I didn't even ask for his help." He kept talking to himself, ruffling his hair as he got frustrated.

"Fine---this will be okay--" He grabbed his phone and dialed the saved number without thinking again.Cause he would change his mind if he would think.

"Hello?" He heard the familiar voice and quickly furrowed his eyebrows.

"You wanted the damn call so much." He said and felt nervous as the person on the other side of phone went silent.

"Does that mean I can take you out sometime?" Tharn asked and Type's eyebrows got worse.

"No." He said angrily before hanging up and throwing himself on the bed.

He didn't like him, not at all.He was really annoying.

Type felt the buzz and looked at his phone to see the text from him.

_'I think it means I can take you out.'_

Type rolled his eyes before laying on his right side and texting back.

 _'I said no.'_ he sent and got a very quick reply.

_'Why did you want that information? Are you in some shady business?'_

Type actually smiled at the text.

"Shady business? This is what uncles calls it?" He mumbled to himself as he typed.

 _'Not your business.'_ he sent it.

 _'Are you free this Saturday?'_ Tharn changed the topic like it was nothing.

 _'For what?'_ Type replied back.

 _'Another hug session?'_ he sent that with an annoying big heart and Type quickly sent a reply before putting the phone away and closing his eyes.

_'Fuck you.'_

"What are you smiling at?" Tharn's bandmate leaned closer to take a look at his phone.

"Is it the mad boy who kissed you like that?" Another one said and shook his head. "Man---he seemed like one of the guys our parents used to warn us about."

Tharn chuckled at that, tilting his head and looking at his friend.

"I think he is cute."

"Oh God." His friend facepalmed. "Why good guys always likes the problematic ones?" He mumbled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the loving memory of "You wanted the god damn kiss so much." :)  
> I already miss them... LetMeBeEmo


	3. Did You Feel It?

"Hey----what are you doing?" Techno eyed him suspiciously when Type kept staring at his phone instead of listening to him.

"Nothing." Type mumbled, putting the phone down and getting up. "I will make some coffee, you want it?" He asked while walking away and Techno thanked him.He waited until Type was out of the sight and quickly grabbed his phone.

"I knew it." He mumbled to himself as he saw Type's conversation with the handsome drummer called Tharn.

"You rude bitch." He rolled his eyes after seeing Type's replies, nobody would be interested in a guy like this cause really, he was tiring and annoying.But surprisingly that Tharn guy kept texting, he kept flirting and it seemed like he was getting on Type's nerves on purpose like he actually liked the reaction.But more surprisingly, Type kept answering even if he was swearing, he still answered and it was something.

Actually Techno got suspicious before, Type used to flirt with girls but he never saw him sticking with a girl.Sometimes he would have flirts but they never last long, Type never even talked about them.It was obvious that he actually didn't give a fuck or date, he was just fucking around.And Techno was a smart boy, he could see his reactions and everything, so he thought his friend could swing both ways.But now he was sure.

"Thank you." Techno said as his friend put the mugs on the table, his phone was on the place he left.Techno didn't want to die yet.

"Hey---I was thinking...and.." he took a sip before looking at Type. "Maybe we should go to that bar again, I really wanna see your friend drumming."

"He's not my friend." Type furrowed his eyebrows as he answered way too fast and Techno sighed, smiling and trying to not scream at his stubborn friend's face.

"You know what---fine." He smiled. "I will make him my friend, I liked him anyway." He said, grabbing his mug and getting up as he lead to upstairs.

"Do whatever the fuck you want." Type mumbled as he took his phone again and Techno smirked, he knew that tone.That way why he wasn't surprised when he walked downstairs after getting ready and seeing Type on the doorway.He changed his clothes and obviously waiting for Techno.

"I thought--"

"What am I gonna do while you are partying? Laundry?" He spit angrily before walking out but Techno chuckled, quickly following him.Type always needed a little push, he wasn't a bad guy, Techno could easily say that, but he had problems about showing his emotions.At first it was difficult for Techno too, mostly he thought Type didn't really liked anything, he didn't even think Type liked him as a friend.But then he realized Type was a guy with walls, till now nothing could actually take his walls down but at least Techno cracked his code, he knew Type wasn't always feeling like what his mouth said, mostly it was the opposite.

"Wow...That's a big smile." Techno grinned and teased him when the drummer spotted them, more like Type, cause a bright smile appeared on his face quickly.

"Type." He quickly walked over and Techno glared at his friend when Type looked anywhere but Tharn, seriously, sometimes Techno wished he could beat some sense into Type's stupid body.

"I thought you wouldn't come." The drummer didn't seem like he actually minded Type's expression, he was still smiling.

"You were showing off about your drumming skills, I wanted to take a look." Type said as he grabbed a beer.

"Hey." Techno waved and Tharn smiled at him quickly.

"Can you also sing?" Techno asked quickly and the guy nodded.

"I can, but I like drumming more." He answered softly before someone from the band called him over.

"Listen carefully and rate me later, okay?" Tharn said as he squeezed Type's shoulder and Techno watched his friend rolling his eyes as he mumbled a 'whatever'.He really wanted to slap him but Type would smack him down in a second, so he slapped him inside his head.

"That's why he likes drumming more, he is really good." Techno said to his friend when the band started.Cause Tharn seemed completely different, he was a sweet and kind guy, anyone who talks to him for 5 minutes could say that.But while drumming he seemed so confident, he was so cool in a different way and judging from the girls reactions, he was hot too.

Type never met his eyes with Tharn's but he actually listened, watched.

"Hey---what do you think?" Tharn came over after talking to few girls who got on his way when he was trying to go to their table.

"I don't know, ask those girls." Type said before taking another sip from his beer. "They enjoyed it more than me."

"It means you didn't enjoy it?" Tharn asked as he lifted his eyebrows.

"I don't know." Type repeated, Tharn's eyes were focused on his face but he wasn't looking at him, he kept looking around and his glass. "It was nice, I guess." He mumbled before taking his beer to his lips again and Techno saw the guy smiling sweetly, okay, he was starting to feel bad for him.

"How nice? Nice enough to make you come to listen again?" Tharn asked with a grin.

"Don't push your luck." Type looked at him this time but it didn't really work cause Tharn chuckled like it was the reaction he was expecting.

"Fine, fine.Don't be mad." He said before turning at Techno. "Is he always like this?"

Techno sighed dramatically before nodding.

"We really liked it, you guys are so good.We will definitely come again." Techno said sweetly.

"I won't." Type added, earning a glare from Techno.

"Stop being rude to him---I need to handle with this other baby, don't kill anyone." Techno said as he pointed at his phone, Champ was calling him again, he was calling him for a lot of times in a day lately.He answered the call and walked out.

"You really won't come again?" Tharn asked with a tiny smile when they were alone.

"Why?" Type answered, looking at him this time.

"I will miss you." Tharn said like it was such a normal thing and Type was about to spit a curse right after hearing it.But he got distracted by Tharn's hand, cause he reached to Type's head softly and pulled few strands on his forehead away.Type kept staring at him, more like a glare since he didn't want to be a pussy and act scared or shy because of a simple touch like that.

"I'm not a girl." He said while looking straight at Tharn's eyes and the guy smiled, tilting his head as he pulled his hand away.

"I wouldn't be interested in you if you were a girl." He said as he moved closer to the boy. "I really wanna see you often, Type." He said it in a serious tone, his mocking smile wasn't there and Type looked at him like he was trying to find something to believe that Tharn was lying, but he couldn't.

He didn't give an answer, didn't curse either and just grabbed his beer again.

"This place is too far away from my flat." He said while looking at the table and Tharn smiled at the answer.

"But you still came tonight?" Tharn smiled, leaning his face closer to the boy.

"What are you doing?" Type seemed surprised and puzzled when Tharn was closer than he expected.

"How about tonight?" Tharn asked with a stupid smile on his face, his nose almost touching Type's cheek as he leaned close.

"What?" Type furrowed his eyebrows, causing Tharn's smile to get wider.

"You already acted like a good boy but I couldn't give you what you wanted back then." Tharn's tone changed, he said those things in a lower tone but also his smile disappeared, his eyes stared at the boy's lips before looking up at his eyes.

"You said you won't do it." Type rolled his eyes and wanted to turn his head away, but Tharn's hand on his nape didn't let him.

"I said I wouldn't do you in the toilet." Tharn corrected but Type raised his eyebrows and leaned forward to show he wasn't afraid.

"Then you lost your chance." He said while looking into his eyes and pulled himself back, grabbing his drink again.Type was trying to act normal, like himself, but the way Tharn always got so close to him was bugging him so much.Cause it didn't feel bad, Type was used to feel bad in situations like this, he knew what to do when he felt bad in that way.But he didn't know what to do when it felt like this, he didn't even know what it was.Maybe he liked the closeness cause he was single for a long while? He was lonely, all the time? But why he didn't like it when it was with other guys? What was special about this stupid one?

"Then give me another chance." Tharn said. "You really obeyed me that time, are you just gonna let it go and not get what you wanted?" Tharn teased, kept mentioning that Type actually let him win when he asked his name.

"I didn't obey you." Type put his angry face, glaring at him.

"You did." Tharn smiled.

"I don't obey." Type quickly replied.

"Is this a challenge?" Tharn asked with a cheeky smile and it caused Type to glare at him harder.But he got tense when he felt the guy's palm on his lower back and before he could push Tharn's hand the drummer pecked his lips.

"What are you doing? Let go." He said, pushing his hand away.

"You seemed cute." Tharn kept having that stupid smile on his face and it was starting to annoy Type.

"Do you kiss the things you find cute?" He made a disgusted face before grabbing his beer and taking it to his lips as he turned his head, he wasn't really used to have this kind of skinship with other men.Yes, he fucked with men, but he didn't do these things.

"Not usually, but you seemed kissable."

"Say one more thing and you will kiss my sneakers." Type hissed at him with a serious face as he pointed at Tharn with his beer and the other guy smiled, like it was the reaction he was waiting for.

"Oh---I'm glad you are still one piece." Techno said at Tharn after coming back and Type rolled his eyes. "I need to go, Champ can't live without me cause he is too stupid to be independent." He mumbled.

"What is it again?" Type asked and his friend just shook his head, seeming done.

"I will take care of it, you guys have fun." He winked at Type and Type was about to throw hands when Techno chuckled before rushing out.

"So? Tonight?" Tharn turned at him with a bright smile. "I'm done here and my apartment is pretty close." He said and Type tilted his head, looking at him with a challenging look.

"I don't know." He said as a smirk appeared on his lips. "I don't think it will be worth to take all the way." He teased but Tharn seemed unaffected as he looked at Type, leaning a bit closer.

"You are lying." He said in a low tone, smiling softly. "You already know it will worth it."

Type pulled away, shaking his head no.

"You are all talk." He said and was about to grab another beer but Tharn's hand grabbed his wrist.

"Come on, my car is outside."

"What the hell----Let go---Who said you can touch me?" He kept whining as Tharn waved at his friends and dragged him outside.

In few minutes, he was inside of a fancy car and inside, he was actually smirking, but outside he was frowning like he didn't want to go.It wasn't a thing he could control, he got used to hide his emotions after some point, he didn't know when or why it happened but after the things he experienced, it was like a protection wall for him.It happened without his permission.

He took a long way to go to that damn club, so getting laid wouldn't be that bad.

"Wow, so you are a rich one? How surprising." He mumbled when he walked inside of the drummer's apartment.But before he could take a good look, he was pressed against the door Tharn just closed.He got surprised of the sudden move but after feeling the desperation coming from the drummer, his lips curved.Actually it had been a while since he felt proud of turning someone on.He could already tell Tharn was dying to take him home, maybe it was because the guy was really hot.He wasn't just hot, Type watched him playing drums and he seemed like a real celebrity.Every girl was drooling over his looks and kindness, maybe that was why Type felt satisfied to see he was the one Tharn wanted all night long.

He let him when Tharn pulled his jacket off while kissing him.The drummer lead him to the couch close to them and pulled his lips away for few seconds, Type found himself on the couch and took his time to gulp cause the guy was really good at kissing and he lost his breath for a second.

He was breathing faster than normal when Tharn sat on his crotch and took of his shirt, he realized the drummer seemed even better when he was naked but he couldn't take a good look at his body either, cause Tharn quickly leaned down again and captured his lips harder than before.

If he needed to be honest, Type couldn't remember anyone who kissed him like that.The kisses Tharn gave was too much, usually Type didn't even kiss that much, but after minutes of kissing they were still kissing very passionately and more importantly, Type didn't even got bored, instead he was actually enjoying it.His hands were squeezing the guy's broad shoulders and soon he couldn't keep holding himself back, his hands started to feel the muscles on his chest as Tharn was taking his breath away.

And Type's angry face was completely gone when Tharn's lips found his neck.He tilted his head and took a deep breath, this was one of the moments he stopped pretending.He didn't think or kept the walls up, hell no, all walls were definitely down.

And they stayed down when Tharn was pounding inside him.

Actually Type had a lot of steamy sex, he almost had every kind of sex, at least he thought like that.But there was something different about this guy, even the kisses he gave was too different, and it was also making Type feel different in a way he didn't experienced before.Sure he was turned on, he already went rock hard during the kisses for God's Sake, but it wasn't just that.There was something about Tharn caressing his hair during the kiss, something about Type moaning a little bit louder than normal, definitely something about the way Tharn rested his head in the crook of his neck right before cumming and keeping his head like that for a while.

He already knew Tharn was hot and he already knew it would worth it, he was just playing hard to get, but for real, Type didn't guess it would affect him this much.He didn't even know why he caressed the drummer's nape while his head was resting in the crook of his neck.Maybe it was because of the intimacy of the moment? No, Type's mouth usually lied about his real feelings but he never lied to himself, he really felt like caressing Tharn's hair.But of course he stopped himself.

He was just a stranger, it was just a good fuck, that was all.

"So?" The said guy's voice made him stop drowning in his thoughts. "Your rate is...?" He smiled and damn it but his smile seemed so much better when his hair was messy and eyes were cloudy like this.Type had some hard time about keeping his face straight since Tharn's stupid smile was too close to his face now.

"Get off me, you're heavy." He tried to push him but the guy leaned his chest against Type's before placing his hand on the right side of his hair gently.

"How about I rate you?" Tharn said as his eyes lingered on Type's lips for few seconds and the guy underneath him looked at him.Type was actually curious.He was really trying to whine with his furrowed eyebrows but he could only close his eyes as his fists were resting against the guy's chest when Tharn slowly leaned down, rubbing his lips against Type's now swollen ones.

"I can actually..." He whispered against to his lips and Type opened his eyes after feeling the guy's soft peck on his lips. "...kill to hear that noise again."

Type stared at him for a while until he realized Tharn was actually serious.

"What noise?" He asked and his voice came out pretty husky because of the closeness he wasn't used.He was curious cause he didn't really notice the sounds he made, but Tharn obviously liked one of them.Nobody made a comment like this before so he got curious, he never thought the sound he made could turn a guy on, he wasn't a girl anyway.

He was waiting for an answer when he felt Tharn taking his lower lip between his lips and it caused Type to sigh softly, the gentle caress on his hair was making it impossible for Type to not stay calm.

"The noise you made when I first entered you." Tharn whispered after the kiss and got a hit on his shoulder.

"Move!---I said you are heavy!" He quickly pushed Tharn away and stood up.This was too much to hear, Tharn was really brave about talking and Type wasn't really a master on that.

"Where is the bathroom?" He asked angrily after grabbing his clothes and Tharn showed the end of the corridor with a smile.

Type wasn't wrong about his feelings, cause Tharn also felt like something was different about the boy relaxed between his arms.It was so weird cause anyone could say how nervous and angry Type was.But feeling him getting so calm between his hands made Tharn feel good, more than he expected.Tharn was a love guy, he really was, but he wasn't someone who liked everyone he slept with.He was experienced enough to know differences between the feelings when someone touched him, and the way that boy touched him wasn't regular.There was some kind of attraction between them, something that made them both feel ten times better during the sex.

"What are you doing?" Tharn looked at him when the boy walked out fully clothed and grabbed his cell phone.

"Obviously going? What?" Type raised his eyebrows, grabbing his belongings.

"It's almost morning, Type." Tharn kept staring at him but the boy just shook his head, he was trying to not make a lot of eye contact but it wasn't so easy when he could feel Tharn staring the fuck out of him.

"So?" He mumbled before turning his back at him. "I will--" He wanted to walk towards the door but the hand on his belly stopped him, Tharn wrapped his arms around of him loosely from behind and Type stopped.Actually he was never good with skinship, he didn't even get too close with his friends, well, he didn't have many friends though.

"Are you running away?" Tharn asked with a soft voice and Type furrowed his eyebrows, turning his head back to look at him.

"Why the hell I would run away?" He answered in his usual tone but his frown got worse when he felt Tharn smiling, seriously, he didn't get why this guy kept liking it whenever he spit words like that.

"I don't know, maybe because you felt it?" Tharn placed his chin on the boy's shoulder but Type moved his arm and wanted to move away, but he didn't use full force at all, so Tharn was able to tighten his hold and pull the boy against his chest.

"Felt what?" He asked, not turning his face at him as his frown got calmed. "What are you doing?" But it didn't take his frown to come back, cause the shirtless guy hummed before nuzzling his face against Type's neck.

"The connection." He answered, seeming unbothered with the way Type kept answering.

"Connection?" Type turned his head, he wanted to show that he wasn't afraid or embarrassed but honestly the position was too weird for him. 

"I'm just talking about you being able to take me completely in."

"Asshole!"

Tharn was still chuckling when he got hit by Type's elbow, his smile got even wider when Type turned around and threw him a murderous look.

"Come on, just stay here.It's far away from your home and it's almost morning, it's not like I'm gonna eat you." He said the last sentence with a grin and Type rolled his eyes.

"It's not like I'm gonna let you eat me." He said angrily.

"See? It's all good, come on.You can sleep on the bed, I will take a shower.Then I will drive you home in the morning, yeah?" Tharn placed a hand on his back and pulled him in another room.

"Then why aren't you driving me home now?" Type asked as he was pushed to the round bed.

"Cause I'm tried, I worked a lot, don't you think?"

"Hey!" He glared at him when Tharn ruffled his hair after making him sit on the bed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You can drink something if you want, but it's really late and you should sleep if you don't want to end up being so sore."

"Shut the fuck up." He cursed as the guy disappeared in the corridor but he could see his annoying smile before Tharn closed the door.

"Sore your ass----do you think it's easy to fit that in? Asshole." He mumbled to himself, he would never say it loud but that _sweet-like-a-candy_ guy was really big, like really.

That was why he fell asleep after putting his head on the pillow, it didn't even take him ten minutes since it was such a long day, and night, obviously.

He woke up after feeling the weight on the other side of the bed, he reacted really fast since he always slept alone.Actually he never wanted to leave that night, but it was Type, he always did the things he didn't really want, he didn't know why, he was just doing the exact opposite things he wanted, it was like his shield.

He didn't open his eyes when he felt Tharn covering him with a blanket, this guy was disgustingly sweet and it made Type furrow his eyebrows while his eyes were closed.He really hated it, he always hated good ones.

"You know what--" He suddenly opened his eyes and turned to his back, watching Tharn getting surprised since he thought the boy was sleeping.

"I will see it myself." He said in a determined tone.

"What?" Tharn blinked, not really getting what he meant.

"You act like you are so good, but you are not." Type said, having a challenging look as he stared at Tharn.

"Do you think I'm good?" Tharn's stupid smile appeared and Type closed his eyes, sighing.He was doing it again, reacting softly at the things he should've get mad or annoyed.

"Everyone seems good until you get to know them." Type looked at him again.

"You felt it." Tharn repeated and Type looked down at his knees when the guy suddenly moved too close and slid his arm around his waist. "You did, you are freaking out."

"I didn't feel a shit." He said before pushing Tharn's hand away. "I'm just saying that you can't fool me with your good guy mask."

"And do you think you can fool me with your bad guy mask?" Tharn suddenly said and Type looked at him for a while, he wasn't expecting to hear something like that, his eyes looked around for a while, then he just shook his head.

"Stop talking nonsense, I'm going to sleep." He mumbled angrily before turning his back at the guy again and laying down.

He didn't close his eyes, his frown completely disappeared when he wasn't facing Tharn anymore.He felt like he couldn't hide it anymore cause Tharn made him get confused with his reply.He was always saying and doing the things Type didn't expect, that was why his usual reactions were not working on Tharn.For the first time in a while, he wanted to stay and he was actually staying, it was already strange enough.

He moved like he was uncomfortable when Tharn moved closer, too closer than he liked and back hugged him.

"I told you to stop it---Do you want me to leave?" He said angrily, but he wasn't frowning since he knew Tharn couldn't seeing his face.

"Type." Tharn ignored again but talked against to his nape. "Can I ask you something?" He said softly like the boy wasn't throwing curses at him every second.

"What is it?" He answered in an annoyed tone, but his eyes were open and kind of panicked, cause Tharn was making the moves he didn't expect.

"You really...didn't feel it?" Tharn mumbled, more like to himself and Type's eyes went lower when he felt Tharn's thumb caressing the cloth on his belly. "Was it just me?" He kept mumbling and Type knew what he was talking about.They were not kids, it was obvious they both had a lot of sex and Type wasn't stupid either, he knew how it felt to have a really hot sex.But this wasn't like that, it was a sensual one.

A strange one.

"The only thing I felt was your thing tearing me apart.Just shut up, I want to sleep." Type said angrily after a while and he heard Tharn's chuckle against to his nape.

He wasn't really comfortable, in fact he was staying stiff as the guy kept hugging him loosely.But it was the feeling which made him spend the night there.He wasn't feeling comfortable, good or calm.He was nervous, confused and irritated.That's why he stayed, he wanted to know what it was and why he was feeling like that.

He took a breathe and closed his eyes, Tharn didn't need to know that detail but it was the first night he slept while being held like that.Actually he felt like a freak, it was so easy for Tharn to hug him or kiss him like that, Type could already say he was a love guy, it was really obvious.But for him all the bells in his head started to ring while the guy was caressing his belly like that, for him even a little touch outside of sex was too much.

But he knew himself, he knew he was supposed to have an attack, lose his breathe, end up with throwing up and having a week of sleepless nights.

Tharn only felt the connection during sex, but Type realized it earlier.He was still awake when Tharn went to sleep, and he was breathing fine.For days he tried so hard to find a way out of his mind cause his past was haunting him, every second, not letting him take a deep breathe and relax.

But something about this guy was different.

Type looked down again and stared at Tharn's hand on his belly.

He really didn't know what it was, but he needed to keep living, he needed to find a way to survive, so he chose to close his eyes instead of leaving.

He could keep sticking around until he would see the real face of Tharn, at least something about him was blocking his past.Type decided to let it happen till the moment he would realize Tharn wasn't that good, every good person turned out like in the end anyway, right?

It wasn't like he was that good, no way.

So this would eventually end after a while, at least he thought like that.


	4. Tear Off That Mask

“So? That’s the deal? You think that he’s not a good guy, he’s just faking it to get some attention from girls and boys.” Techno talked slowly as he tilted his head, walking beside his friend while trying to understand his point. “So you’re gonna pull his mask off and prove that he’s not actually good?”

“Exactly.” Type nodded.

“But what if he’s actually a good guy?” Techno asked, stopping beside Type as the other guy rolled his eyes.

“He’s not.”

“But what if he is?”

“He can’t be that nice, did we ever meet someone that nice?” Type looked at Techno and Techno puckered his lips, yes they didn’t actually meet a lot of nice people.

“But why would you do that? Why do you want to see his realself that much?” Techno changed the question, walking faster to catch his friend.

“Cause he’s annoying.” Type answered and stopped, surprising Techno with his facial expression. “And I wanna see how bad he is.” Type said and Techno got even more surprised, cause his friend was actually curious, Type never got interested in people, not at all.He would just hang out with girls for few days and then act like they didn’t even exist.Nothing would catch his attention for too long.

“He acts so good, I wonder how bad he is inside.” He said before pointing at the building in front of them. “Let’s go before Champ makes a mess.” He said and Techno nodded, following the guy inside.

At first Techno didn’t know why Type was so negative towards everyone, cause the guy didn’t really care if the other person was actually kind or sweet; Type acted same to all of them.Then Techno realized he experienced some kind of things he never shared with them, Type definitely saw the dark side of those kind people, Techno didn’t know what it was, but he was sure something happened to make the guy think that every kind or gentle person was just faking it, putting it on like a mask.Type knew they were all the same, they would do the worst things if they had a chance, it was impossible to change his mind.Techno tried it, really really tried it but there was no way to change Type’s mind.After some point, Techno started to see his side of view, cause while doing this job they met a lot of people, they would all look like a great father, nice guy or a sweet girl, but inside the dark room Techno saw them together with others; they would all show their real faces.

But he felt different about that Tharn guy, he actually wished him to be that nice, cause it was the first time someone actually caught Type’s attention.Normally he wouldn’t care and keep living, but this time he wanted to see the real side of that man, he was curious.

Techno hoped that drummer would make Type change his mind about good people, if it was possible.

_**-** _

“P.” The boy called him softly as Tharn mumbled an ‘hmm’ while staring at his phone with a smile.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked and the said guy nodded, still typing something.

“Are you texting to that guy? The one who..---tried to beat me that night?” He asked with a nervous expression and Tharn chuckled, tilting his head and looking at him as he nodded.

“Why?” The boy asked, seeming actually confused. “It’s been few weeks and---you never like those kind of people, you got angry with me because you didn’t want me to be in trouble…I just don’t understand.” He mumbled, seeming really confused about Tharn taking an interest in a guy like that.They all knew Tharn was gay, but his friends always saw him with cute guys, Tharn usually liked the guys smaller than him, shorter, cuter; the exact opposite of Type.

“I want you to stop seeing that stupid friends of yours cause they are trying to use you.” Tharn’s smile quickly disappeared and his tone turned into a big brother one, causing the other guy to pout and look down.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “But do you..” He tilted his head curiously. “—really like him?”

Tharn’s lips curled into a smile before he leaned his back on the chair.

“I guess so.” He answered. “He’s kinda cute.”

“Cute?” The boy seemed frightened, cause that guy was about to beat the fuck out of him that day and he was not even close to be cute.He was huge, almost at the same height with Tharn, he had a nice body, his face was so angry like he could kill anyone in any second and he kept yelling.

“Cute.” Tharn mumbled again before grabbing his phone after it vibrated again.

This was weird, the boy pointed at Tharn after he went to their friends side and they all seemed confused about this new guy.He was everything that Tharn didn’t like, but somehow this thing between them was happening for few weeks, they were all just watching it with scared eyes.Cause Tharn was really naive inside even though he seemed like a strong guy, and they hoped that wild boy wouldn’t hurt him too bad.

They were so sure he was gonna hurt Tharn, they all thought this thing would end after a month, maybe earlier than that but they just wanted it to end quickly before Tharn falls for him.They couldn’t understand why Tharn was insisting about seeing him cause they didn’t see the Type Tharn started to see, they saw Type yelling, being angry at practically nothing and keep rejecting Tharn about everything.But they didn’t see the thing Tharn saw into his eyes.

Just like now.

“Please.”

“I said no.” Type glared at him.

“But I really wonder your place.”

“It’s a fucking flat, nothing to wonder.” He furrowed his eyebrows before drinking his whiskey. “It’s not like your fancy place.”

“Type~” Tharn wrapped his arms around of Type’s left arm, hugging it loosely and earning a death glare from the other guy.

“What are you doing? Let go.” Type said as he shook his arm, trying to pull it away.

“I just wanna see the place you are staying at, it’s such a simple thing to ask.” Tharn kept holding his arm, looking at him with his puppy eyes as Type sighed angrily.

“It’s not like we are dating.” He said and Tharn pulled his arms away from him, his lips got pouty and he turned his head away, completely sulking.

“Why the fuck are you being like this? I told you that we are not gonna date.” He said after few minutes but Tharn kept pouting, grabbing his beer and taking a sip.

“If you are gonna be like this I’ll leave.” Type said angrily and Tharn looked at him with his sulky face.

“What?” Type asked with his panicked face, everyone would say his face seemed angry but Tharn knew it was his panicked face since he didn’t know what to do.Type kept being harsh with his words or hurting the other when he didn’t know what to do, how to respond.He thought he was going to reveal the real side of Tharn, the dark side he was hiding but he didn’t know Tharn was already making his way into Type’s real side.

“If you are not going to take me to your house, at least give me a kiss.” Tharn said, his lips still pouty as he leaned his face closer to the boy.

“What? No.” Type quickly pushed him away by his shoulders.He was actually okay with making out in public, he did it for a long while, he didn’t really care about it cause it was just about sex.But with Tharn it was different, it had been weeks and they were still seeing each other, there was no way for him to kiss him like that.

“Just a kiss.” Tharn leaned closer again and Type glared at him.

“Why the fuck you keep asking things tonight?” He asked angrily, not pushing him away this time.

Tharn’s pout got harder with the question, making Type’s eyes linger on his lips and notice the fact that the drummer got really, really sulky.

“Cause I missed you.” He mumbled. “You didn’t come to see me for a week and I don’t even know where to come to see you.”

Type was about to throw another curse when Tharn suddenly leaned even closer, their noses almost touching as he stared at Type’s eyes with his puppy ones.

“I know that we are not dating, but don’t you like me? A little?” He asked in a low tone, he was dying to see if his pouty lips and puppy eyes would work, he seemed sulking outside but inside he loved the hesitation he saw on Type’s face.He seemed like he didn’t know what to do but he also didn’t push Tharn away or get up and leave, he obviously wanted to stay.

“Here.” Type placed his hand on Tharn’s cheek and the drummer felt younger’s plump lips pressing against his for a quick second. “Now can you please shut the fuck up?” He said angrily, pushing Tharn away and grabbing his glass.

Tharn just smiled, his pouty lips completely disappearing as a dorky smile appeared instead.

He was right, his friends wasn’t able to see it but Type wasn’t that bad, he was cute.

Tharn was surprised at himself too, he never liked someone like Type before, it was such a new thing for him.But something about Type was pulling him in like, he really wanted to see what younger offered, cause the Type he was showing to others wasn’t the real one, Tharn could see he was much softer inside and just like Type, he was also curious.

They both liked each other enough to hang in there for a while to see what they were curious about.

_**-** _

“Great, I will never get on your car again.” Type said angrily before glaring at him but Tharn was grinning.

“Fuck you.” He said before getting out of the car and Tharn chuckled, following him outside.He told younger that he was gonna drop him to the bus station since Type insisted about not letting him learn where he was staying at.But the car was parked in front of the closest beach.

“It’s cold, Type.” He said with a grin, watching younger walking away angrily.

“Yes it is, that’s why it’s fucking empty and nobody is here.” He spit words angrily without turning back and Tharn kept smiling, running after him and causing him to sigh angrily when he back hugged him.

“Do you really want some beach romance moment? I told you that we are not fucking dating and it’s fucking cold.” He said, his thick eyebrows getting furrowed as he stared at Tharn.

“I just wanted to take you somewhere, you only come to the bar and my place, we never went to another place.” Tharn said softly and Type seemed like he didn’t realize it before.

“Plus I noticed that you like beach when you were talking about that trip.” Tharn said, remembering the other night they were casually chatting.

Type felt annoyed, Tharn was remembering such a simple detail, being so caring and nice, again.

It pissed him off.

“Good for you, but it’s so cold.I don’t wanna be here.” He said, being grumpy on purpose now to see Tharn’s reaction.He wanted to make Tharn so angry, so done with him to see his real face.

“Oh right---give me a second.” Tharn said and Type furrowed his eyebrows as he watched the older running to car, just to came back with a blanket in his hands.

“You planned this.” He glared at Tharn.

“Would you say yes if I asked you?”

“No.”

“I know.” Tharn just smiled and Type looked down when the older grabbed his wrist gently.

“There’s nobody else, it’s just us and we are already here.Let’s just stay for a while, na?”

Type kept having his angry face before he rolled his eyes and sat down on the sand.

Tharn quickly smiled, he sat beside the grumpy boy, way too close as he wrapped the blanket around of them.

“Do you do this to everyone before seducing them to sleep with you?” Type said and felt annoyed when Tharn just smiled, he wanted to make the guy angry but Tharn kept liking his harsh words.

“I never had to seduce someone to sleep with me.” Tharn said, winking at him with a smile and causing Type to snort.

“Ahh..it’s so cold! Soooo cold!” Tharn said playfully before hugging Type even closer and rubbing his head on younger’s shoulder, wrapping the blanket around of them tighter.

“A prince like you wouldn’t be used to this weather.” Type said and Tharn tilted his head, still leaning it on younger’s shoulder as he looked up.

“You are used to it?” He asked softly and Type just nodded.

“I had to sleep on streets until I realized there are better places like hospitals and bus stations.” He answered without looking at Tharn, his eyes were now fixed on the sea.He actually missed the soothing sound of waves, it had been a while since he came to a beach.

“Mn.” Tharn mumbled and Type hated the way older hugged him tighter, like he was actually sorry, like he wanted to protect Type.He didn’t like it, he didn’t like how nice he was.

“You’re really tough, aren’t you?” Tharn said softly and Type felt him sighing against his neck. “I wouldn’t survive few nights, I get sick easily.” He said and Type smiled.

“At least you know yourself.” He teased as he looked down at Tharn’s face.

“What if I stay with you?” Tharn suddenly asked, making Type’s eyebrows get confused again. “Would you protect me?” He asked, he always did that, asking and saying the things Type never expected to hear.

“Don’t you feel embarrassed to say those things when you are a grown up man?” Type said and Tharn’s pout appeared again.

“So you wouldn’t?”

Type wanted to say yes to that, yes he wouldn’t, he wanted to curse and tell him to fuck off for trying to seem like he actually cared about Type.Cause till now, nobody actually cared about him, nobody took him to beach just because he mentioned it in a small conversation.

He wanted to tell him that he fucking sucks for acting like a good guy, nobody was that good, nobody would care about the other one that much.He was just there to see Tharn’s bad side, to prove he was right all these time, all people were the same.

But something about the way Tharn looked up at him made him sigh.

“I wouldn’t.” He said, grabbing the corner of the blanket and covering Tharn’s shoulder properly.

Tharn already realized he had to focus on actions with Type, cause the boy never said the thing he really felt.And the way he covered him was enough to know Type actually said yes while saying no.

They stayed like that for a while, it was actually nice for Tharn since he never had a position like that.He was always the giver in his relationships, he always got together with cute guys who wanted attention all the time.It was weird to have someone covering him like that and letting him rest his head on his shoulder.Type gave him a weird feeling, yes the boy was letting him see his vulnerable side when they got naked, he was letting him hear the voices nobody would believe he would make, but the feeling was different.Tharn never felt safe with his other partners before, he couldn’t call Type his partner, but something about Type was making him feel like he didn’t need to be dominant and take care of everything like before.Type was someone he could pout with, someone he could rest on his shoulder, at least until he slaps him.But still, he liked the new feeling.

“Do you want to stay here?” Tharn asked, surprising Type again.

“What?”

“We can sleep in the car.” Tharn offered, pulling his head away and looking at the boy. “You like the beach and I like you, I think it’s a good deal.”

Type rolled his eyes at Tharn’s words and quickly averted his gaze.This was the other thing he liked about Type, he got shy, but he never make it obvious, he always acted like he was angry and Tharn found it really cute.

“I won’t sleep in your fancy car just because---“

“Please.” Tharn pecked his lips all of sudden.

“What are you doing?”

“Please?” He pecked again and even though it was really dark, he could see Type’s expression got softer than before.

“Do you really think this kind of things will work on me and—“

This time Tharn captured his lips, his hands holding Type’s waist tightly under the blanket around of them as he sucked on the boy’s upper lip softly.

“I missed you.” Tharn repeated and he was honest, he didn’t see the boy for a week and he realized he really wanted to see him again, he wanted it really bad.

“You didn’t.” Type said and Tharn opened his eyes, realizing the boy’s tone was different.

Tharn didn’t say anything but stared into Type’s suspicious eyes before leaning closer again, he kissed the boy again, Type wasn’t responding at all, but he wasn’t stopping him either.Tharn caressed his back gently before pecking the corner of his lips.

“Can’t you really feel that I missed you?” He mumbled, his eyes were still closed as he rested his forehead on Type’s.

His eyes were closed but Type was actually staring at him, he never believe anyone, he never believed what they said, but Tharn was right, he could feel it, even the way the drummer looked at him was too gentle, the way he was caressing his back was too soft, Type could feel that he missed him, he could feel it from the way he kissed him.But he didn’t know how to respond, all the kisses he shared with men was harsh, kind of kisses people gave during sex, passionate and lustful.He never experienced something like this with a men.His memories with men were all rough, stinky and horrible.

“Type I…” Tharn started, his eyes were still closed when he sighed and Type raised his eyebrows, watching the guy curiously since his tone and expression changed.

“I’m not good at this, I can’t hold myself back.” He opened his eyes, looking at the boy softly. “I can feel it, I’m going to fall for you.” He said it just like that and Type’s face didn’t change, he was just staring back at him with his usual expression. “I just..—Do I have a chance?” He said in a weird tone, like he was scared of the answer as he looked into Type’s eyes. “I don’t wanna be hurt again, I don’t want to—“ He wanted to explain why he was scared of falling in love, liking someone too much.He wasn’t in love with Type now, but he could feel it, everytime he saw that boy, his emotions were growing deeper, he wanted to spend more time, know him better, he wanted more and more, he knew himself, he was going to fall for him really hard.

He didn’t want to say it now since he knew Type would say no and end the thing between them.But that night he felt at ease while he was resting his head on Type’s shoulder, and he realized he was going to fall sooner than he thought.Even if Type would reject him, he needed to say it before it was too late.Cause Tharn wasn’t strong enough to handle with another heartbreak.

“It’s cold, let’s go.” Type said all of sudden, standing up and leaving Tharn sitting there with the blanket.

Tharn just nodded, a sad smile appearing on his lips as he followed younger to the car.

This was it, it was Type’s answer.

Maybe it was better than falling in love with him and then dealing with that heartbreak, he still wanted to know how it would feel to be loved by Type, but if the boy’s answer was no, Tharn wouldn’t insist.He knew when to insist, this wasn’t something he could beg, if the boy wasn’t feeling the same as him, that it was useless.

He was sulky and quiet during the ride, he couldn’t help but feel down.He really wanted to know the boy better, there was some kind of weird attraction between them and he could feel it.

“Take the first left.” Type said.

“What?” Tharn got confused.

“The first left, our flat is close to the station.I thought you wanted to see.”

Tharn stared at him for a while and his mouth stayed open for few seconds.

“Oh—“ He blinked, taking the first left as he took few minutes to understand what actually happened.

Soon a smile appeared on his lips, he bit his lip as he tried to stop it but he felt so damn good.He really thought this would be their last night, but Type didn’t close the door, he left it open.It was enough for Tharn to keep knocking.

“We are not dating.” Type stated as he saw the guy grinning while walking to his flat.

“Yes yes, definitely.” Tharn pressed his lips together, nodding like a good guy.

“Ooh—Champ! Type brought his boyfriend!” Techno yelled after opening the door and Type slapped his head.

“You can’t be serious---oh man—why would you date Type? Is he threatening you?”

“We are not dating.” Tharn said as Type smacked Champ as well. “I’m Tharn.” He introduced himself as the boy caressed the place Type hit and quickly shook hands with him.

“I’m going to take a shower, do whatever the fuck you want since you wanted to come so bad.” Type said in his usual tone before walking away and Techno looked at Tharn curiously.

“What did you do to make him bring you here?” He asked quickly, cause he thought Type would already end things with him.

“I just said that I really like him?” Tharn said with a shy smile, still feeling giddy about the way Type didn’t reject him.

“Holy shit.” Techno chuckled, they looked at each other with Champ since they both knew Type never, ever bring anyone to this place before.He did it while knowing his friends would mock him.

“Let’s just..---get something to drink while you tell us everything.” Techno said as he grabbed Tharn’s arm, Champ grabbing the other while pulling him towards the kitchen.

Type sighed as he stared at himself in the mirror, he had no idea what the hell he was doing.He didn’t plan this, he just wanted to stick around to prove that he was right, but Tharn never stopped being nice, something about the beach, or the blanket, maybe the way he kissed him made Type got confused.He wasn’t sure when he got on the car, he never dated someone, he never liked someone at all, he wasn’t in love with Tharn either, but he missed him too.He didn’t say it loud, but he missed the way Tharn looked at him, chuckled at his replies and wanted to flirt with him like Type was the only person that mattered in the club.

“Damn it.” He mumbled to himself, realizing he didn’t want to let go now.


	5. Trust Is The First Step

“It hurts.” Type said with an uncomfortable face and Tharn stopped, immediately looking at his face.

Which annoyed Type.

He wanted him to keep going, even if it hurt him Tharn should’ve keep doing whatever he wanted just like others, so Type could finally get himself out of this thing and say that Tharn was just like others.

“I’m sorry—Is it too bad?” Tharn quickly asked after pulling his hand away from the boy’s back.They had sex last night and actually it hurt a little but it wasn’t something Type couldn’t handle.He just wanted Tharn to fuck it up, cause for some reason he wasn’t able to walk away and he was trying so hard to make Tharn snap but it wasn’t happening.

“Yeah.” Type lied, closing his eyes since he didn’t want to see Tharn’s worried eyes looking into his.He felt the man moving, he wasn’t hovering over him anymore when Type opened his eyes.

“Should I take a look?” The guy who was between his legs now asked and Type’s face showed the real chaos.

“What?”

“I should give it a look, maybe it’s too bad.” Tharn said as he grabbed the boy’s boxers and wanted to pull it down but Type quickly stopped him.

“No!—What the hell, Tharn?!” He quickly straightened up, pushing the guy’s hand away.

“Did you bleed? We should’ve use more lube.” Tharn kept talking with a serious expression while Type was giving him a murderous look.

“Let me see if I have something for you to put on---it might get worse.” He mumbled more to himself before leaving the bed and Type sighed after he left the room.He facepalmed, realizing Tharn was really not giving him a chance to leave.

“God damn it!” He cursed, throwing the pillow away before ruffling his hair angrily.He wanted to go, he wasn’t used to this, he wasn’t able to have a thing like this, he didn’t even know why that guy liked him, nobody liked Type, not at all.How he was supposed to leave if Tharn was going to be like this? Type was harsh, he was raw and all, but he wasn’t cold hearted enough to leave someone like that.It wasn’t about leaving and breaking Tharn’s heart, Type wouldn’t give a fuck about it.But the way Tharn acted towards him was touching somewhere inside Type, he didn’t know where it was, he never felt that place inside him before but there was something, Tharn was holding that place so tight and it was making Type want to stay, keep sticking with him.

It had been 2 months already.

It wasn’t Type’s style.It should’ve ended.

Type wanted to leave, he wanted to run away, he wanted to leave his house and turn off his phone, he wanted to stop seeing him, ignore his texts and calls, he wanted to tell him that he didn’t want to see him anymore.

But he couldn’t.

He was laying on the drummer’s bed again, the guy was backhugging him while Type was facing the wall.

It wasn’t right, someone like Tharn wouldn’t like him, he would eventually get bored of him.Would Type feel bad if Tharn’s eyes wouldn’t look at him in the same way? He would.He never saw someone looking at him like that before, but was it actually real? Why would it be real? It had been 2 months and nothing about Tharn went worse, there was no mask, hell, he even became nicer.

Type didn’t know what to do.

He was panicked, he wanted to run away but also wanted to stay.That night he thought too much, about everything, he was too confused, he never felt like this before, or met someone like this.Nobody showed him this much affection and Type wasn’t used to receive things from people without asking something in return.He didn’t know what to believe or do.

That was probably why he started to squirm in the bed after falling asleep.He was too anxious before sleeping and it caused bad memories to find their ways inside his mind.

“Type?” Tharn mumbled, slowly opening his eyes to see what was happening. “Are you in pain—“ He thought the boy was uncomfortable because of that but when he saw Type was sleeping he got confused.

Type saw that guy again, he saw that room he got locked for god knows how many times, he felt the force, he remembered the scent, everything; everything that broke him crawled back into his mind.

“Type---Type!” Tharn grabbed him by his shoulders cause Type was sweating too much and making voices like he was actually getting hurt.He never did that before, mostly he would wake up in the same position when he slept, he wouldn’t even move that much.This was happening for the first time and Tharn didn’t know what to do.

“Type---wake up—hey, Type.” His voice got softer when he realized Type was actually crying in his sleep.His palm caressed the boy’s cheek softly as his other hand brushed his hair back gently, trying to wake him up.

“Oh God…” He realized the boy wasn’t waking up, it was obvious that he wasn’t just having a nightmare, it was something else.Tharn finally forced him to wake up by pulling him into a hug.

“It’s fine---it’s fine, Type.” He hugged him tightly, stroking his back while his other hand was holding the boy by his nape.

It took Type few minutes to completely wake up, he finally realized it was just a nightmare, he was still at Tharn’s house.

He wanted to pull away and wipe his tears.It wasn’t the first time he had a nightmare like this, he had worse things.That was why he had to throw himself on other guys to stop remembering that days.But nobody comforted him before, cause he never even sleep in the same bed with them.

This was something else that Type didn’t experience before.

He wanted to pull away, and walk to bathroom until he pulled himself together.

“Hey---it’s fine, it passed.” Tharn pulled away and cupped his cheeks while he was trying to decide what to do.His cheeks were still wet, his lips were redder than normal and his hair was too messy.

He was too messy.

“It passed---You’re okay, I’m here.” Tharn said softly as his thumbs caressed Type’s cheeks.

Type just looked at him, he didn’t realize his tears kept rolling down.It wasn’t something he could explain, normal people wouldn’t get it.He was all alone, all the time, nobody even believe him when he got raped, nobody stood beside him, Type never had anyone to soothe him, he didn’t even recognize the feeling.

“It hurt too much----it---“ He tried to talk but now he was crying even harder, he didn’t know why he couldn’t just leave the bed, leave the room, leave the damn house.Something about Tharn, something about the way he held him made Type want to tear his mask off and let it out.He was so tired, he was too tired of acting like he was strong all the time.

He wasn’t strong, he was broken, he didn’t even had his all pieces.That guy stole the pieces from his soul, he was already all alone and that guy cursed him.

“It’s fine, it passed---it passed.” Tharn pulled him closer as he kept repeating that words.He was also surprised to see Type like that but his heart fell down, he wanted to do anything to make him stop crying.He never thought seeing Type like that would effect him that much.

“Type…” Tharn called his name in a tone that Type never heard, he was still crying, his eyes were still closed and he felt like he was finally letting the tears of years out.He wasn’t able to stop himself, he wanted to be hold, he wanted to stop pretending, he wanted to talk about how bad it felt, he wanted someone to tell him it passed.He was just a human, a lonely one.

“Damn it---please baby..-just stop crying, is there anything I can do?---Are you okay?” Tharn got really worried since the boy didn’t stop sobbing, he didn’t know the reason and he was also caught off guard by his own emotions.He never thought his heart would ache so bad like that just because someone was crying.

Type blinked, a shaky breathe leaving his lips as he stared at Tharn for a second.Tharn didn’t really realized he called him baby, it just slipped like that.They were not dating, Type was making it very clear all the time, they were not boyfriends, they didn’t have petnames, Type didn’t even go anywhere else than his house and the bar he was playing at just like Tharn said before.But still, Tharn was looking at him like that.Type saw his teary eyes, the guy was feeling so desperate cause he didn’t know how to help Type.

It was another first for him.

“What happened to you, Type?” He asked as he realized the boy got calmer than before.His palms found Type’s wet cheeks again, he was looking at the boy like he was the most vulnerable thing ever.Type could feel the way he touched him, Tharn was caressing his cheeks like Type wasn’t the guy who had a gun with him, like he wasn’t a tough guy but just a kid.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.” Tharn said, he let out a breathe after seeing Type getting calmer.He was relieved, the boy was still crying but he wasn’t sobbing anymore.

“It passed.” He repeated before brushing his hair back gently, pressing a kiss beside Type’s eye and stroking his back as he held him close. “It’s fine.” He said and Type felt so weird, yes he was broken and he was sad, of course he would cry about it.But there was nothing for Tharn to feel this bothered.The guy really felt better after Type stopped crying, like he really wanted him to stop crying.

He gulped, his mind having a more clear sight after letting it all out like that.

He felt light, his heart didn’t feel heavy as before.

He didn’t think twice before wrapping his arms around of Tharn’s shoulders.He didn’t do it slowly or softly, he didn’t hesitate, he hugged the guy’s shoulders in a heartbeat and snuggled closer, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

Tharn paused for a moment, they were seeing each other for a while but Type never hugged him before, he only lead the touches during sex.He never took the first step.

“Tharn.” He mumbled between the shaky breathes he took and with that Tharn’s mind went black.He forgot about everything he was thinking and quickly hugged him tighter.

“It’s fine..---I’m here, alright? It’s fine, baby.” Tharn’s fingers caressed his nape as his other hand stroked his back.Type felt his lips on his temple and closed his eyes.

He thought about this since he was a small kid, didn’t he really deserve to have parents? How would it feel to have a big brother? Or father? Nobody could hurt him like that if someone would care about him, someone would protect him.But he had nobody, sometimes he dreamed about having a mother, but then he stopped, he couldn’t even dream about it properly since he didn’t know the feeling of having a mother.Would she actually like him? Nobody liked Type, that was why he left everyone really quick, that was why he never had any relationship, cause even the woman who gave birth to him left him, everyone in his life left him, even his abuser, even him.So he was just leaving them before he would actually like them and want them to stay.Type seemed strong, but he wasn’t strong enough to watch someone else turning their back at him.

And it was too late for him to let go of Tharn now, cause Tharn made him feel things that he didn’t know he was able to feel.Tharn made Type want someone to stay, for the first time.

He didn’t say anything, he kept crying softly on his shoulder and Tharn kept comforting him.Type never felt this light before, after a while there were no tears to came, he was just resting his cheek on Tharn’s shoulder and staring at the window.Tharn’s fingers kept caressing the hair on his nape and Type smiled as he looked at the tree which he was able to see through the window.It was really dark and it reminded him of the view he had in he orphanage.He would always look at the window and dream about having a family, sisters, brothers, a lot of friends.He never liked to sleep alone, everyone thought he hate to sleep with someone else since he always left but it was his way to not get attached, cause he didn’t want anyone else to leave him.

“He was working at the orphanage.” He started softly, he wasn’t crying but only staring at the tree, the way its leafs moved with the soft wind.

“He was a middle-aged man.He always told me that I look so pretty.” He kept blinking softly, feeling lighter than a feather and wondering how he was able to feel so calm while talking about this.He thought he would never be able to speak about it cause even thinking about it made him come to a level that he could almost lose his mind.

“He got me snacks, nobody gets you snacks in orphanage you know.” He smiled sadly. “I still remember how happy I felt when I saw the chips.I still remember the taste----I never got chips in my life before.” He said and felt Tharn’s hand stopping.

“He took me to that room and I thought we were gonna play, cause he would always play with me.I liked him---I..trusted him.I even dreamed him being my father, maybe he would take me out of there if he would like me enough to have me as his son.”

“Wait---wait no.” Tharn suddenly broke their hug and looked at Type.

“Did he..—“ Tharn seemed so angry and Type got distracted.He never saw this look on Tharn’s face before.

“For a year.” Type answered before sniffling. “He—“

“No..---Wait wait—“ Tharn suddenly stood up, he walked away from the bed and Type looked at him with his swollen eyes.He thought Tharn would keep comforting him while listening his story, but Tharn being Tharn, again did something Type wasn’t expecting.

“God damn it!” Tharn cursed, for the very first time and Type saw him messing his own hair angrily before tugging on it.He was facing with Tharn’s back and he could see how angry the guy get.

But Tharn never got angry.

“I’m sorry---I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“ Tharn turned to him and sat on the bed again. “I’m sorry.” He repeated before caressing Type’s hair and Type knew he was apologizing for reacting like that, but he smiled softly.

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I let him?”

“No---Type.—Look at me.” Tharn seemed even angrier with that question and cupped his cheeks. “You were a child, you didn’t know what it was.”

“I didn’t.” Type closed his eyes as he felt the tears coming again and shook his head no.He really didn’t know. “But they thought----I let him do it---They—“ Type got surprised when he felt Tharn’s lips against his salty ones.Tharn surprised him again cause it wasn’t a peck or soft kiss, Tharn crashed their lips together and kissed him passionately.Type closed his eyes and sighed against the guy’s lips, for the first time in his life he didn’t think, he knew Tharn wouldn’t hurt him and it was such a nice feeling.He realized most of the people were lucky to feel this with their family, lovers and friends; they didn’t need to be on guard all the time like Type and kids like him, they could let their guard down like this.

It was so precious.

Type tasted it for the first time.

“Let’s just sleep, okay?” Tharn said after the kiss, his hand caressing the boy’s hair gently as the younger nodded.

He never felt this young before.He never had a chance to feel at his age, he had to grow up quickly.But that night he felt like the kid at the orphanage, the night was the same, the view was the same, but this time he was watching that tree while someone was holding him close like he would do anything to keep him.

Someone actually liked him, liked him enough to get so angry just because he was hurt.Liked him enough to lose his words and just kiss him like that to show he was there and he cared about him, but he didn’t know what to do.

It was the first night Type didn’t feel uncomfortable between Tharn’s arms, Tharn used to hug him all the time but he never felt like he fit that place.

But that night he fit so good between Tharn’s arms, he wanted that place.He never had a place in this world, never had someone, and life owned him that.

He wanted this, he didn’t want to run away for the first time.

  
He wanted to stay.


	6. To Love Is To Be Brave

“Techno.”

“What the----Are you okay---What time is it?” No jumped on his bed when his friend opened the door all of sudden.

“He is.”

“What?” No kept blinking, trying to wake up and calm his heart since he thought something bad happened.

“He is.” Type repeated with a weird expression. “He is actually a good guy.”

No kept staring at his friend after realizing it was 4 a.m.

“Well I…---will make the coffees.” He said before getting up.

He saw this coming anyway.

“Cut the crap---What do I do?” Type looked at him when No put his mug in front of his too confused friend.

“What do you mean what do you do?” No sat across him.

“What do I fucking do?” Type seemed like he was getting more nervous every second. “He is---he just..” Type mumbled before messing his hair and it got Techno more awake, Type was actually nervous, which was really interesting.

“Just be nicer Type, it’s not like he’s a monster.” He said, watching his friend carefully since Type never came to him for something like this before.

“He’s just..—“ Type sighed before averting his gaze, he focused his eyes on his mug before continuing. “He keeps asking how I am, he keeps picking the food I like, he offers me to stay at his place all the time, everytime I fucking kick the damn blanket he keeps covering me between his goddamn sleep---No, I can’t do this shit.”

“Okay okay, calm down.” No quickly put his hands in the air, raising his voice since he saw the stages of Type freaking out while talking.

“He likes you---that’s how you act when you like someone.”

“But why?!” Type opened his arms with a puzzled expression. “There is no reason to like me---Tell me one reason, you are my friend aren’t you? You know me damn well. Did anyone like me before?”

“Type.”

“I’m rude, hot-headed, vulgar---He’s completely opposite of me and—“

“Type.” No looked at him seriously. “Stop thinking too much.”

“What?” Type furrowed his eyebrows, he was expecting some advices and a long talk from Techno since he loved talking.But not this.

“Stop thinking too much.” He repeated, patting Type’s hand which was resting on the table between them. “Just keep hanging out with him if you want to, it’s not that difficult.”

“It’s not that difficult?” Type raised his eyebrows. “The asshole wants to date me, No.”

“So?” No sipped his coffee with a relaxed expression. “Date him, you can always say bye bye if you get bored.”

Type stared at him for a while.

“You are scared.” No said after a while, a smile appearing on his lips as he put his mug down and leaned closer to the table. “This is so weird, I saw you almost dying for a lot of times and you never got scared.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not—“

“You are.” No looked at him seriously. “You can’t just say yes and date him cause you are afraid that you will get used to him.”

“It was a bad idea---I will go to sleep.” Type suddenly stood up, turning his back at his friend to leave.

“If you keep leaving everytime you need to talk about your real feelings, in the end of the day you’ll always be alone Type.” No said in a soft tone, which caused his friend to stop.He faced with his back until Type turned around.

“I don’t have a problem with being alone.”

“You do.” No answered quickly. “Nobody can stay alone for this long.”

“I did.” Type said.

“Yes—you did and I must say that I’m proud of you.” Techno said, getting up and grabbing Type’s mug as he walked closer to him. “But my friend, sometimes you need sit down—“ Type glared at him while Techno pulled him to the couch and make him sit down. “—stop lying to yourself and think that if you still want to be alone—“ No made him hold his mug after making him sit. “—if you still want to be alone and run away, then just text him.Tell him that you don’t want this—“

“But—“

“But if you don’t want to stop seeing him, then stop being a coward and stand for what you want.” Techno didn’t let him talk. “I know that you are not used to want things from life, but if life is not giving us what we want, we just need to take it ourselves.” He winked at his friend before walking away and he smiled as he saw Type still sitting there with the mug between his fingers.

Type seemed like a complete idiot, someone who didn’t even use his brain but just yelled everyone.It wasn’t true, Techno knew his friend, that was why he made that talk.Cause he knew Type would give it a thought.

**_-_ **

Type decided, when his mug was empty and he was still sitting on their couch all alone like that; he decided.

He was going to break it off with Tharn.

Did he even like the guy? Did he even know how to like someone? Nobody liked him before, how could he know how to like? Maybe it was just because Tharn was being nice to him, nobody was nice to him before, not this kind of nice, maybe he wanted to be with him cause Tharn was nice.Too nice.

Plus what would happen if he would decide to keep seeing him? Tharn would get bored, he would find someone cuter and better than Type, which was pretty easy in this conditions and Type would have to get used to being alone again.

It wasn’t necessary.He didn’t even know how to be in a relationship anyway, he didn’t even know how to be nice in return.He didn’t have rights to waste Tharn’s time.The guy already said he didn’t want to get hurt.

Type decided to keep living his life in the way he knew.He got attached to Tharn because somehow the drummer wasn’t triggering his past and letting him breathe, maybe it was using him, maybe Type didn’t even like him.Did he like someone before? He never did that, he didn’t even know what kind of feeling was that.But Techno was right, he was scared and Type didn’t get scared easily.He was only scared because this was something he didn’t know, if he could see the other side of Tharn like he planned, it would be so easy.But there was no other side, Tharn didn’t own any mask, the guy was completely open about himself, like an open book.And Type decided that he shouldn’t risk anything, he should keep being himself, in his way.

He was completely certain when he stepped inside the now familiar club.He never had anything nice and he didn’t want this to end badly, one of them would get hurt, or both of them.Type had to run away, he was itching to run away cause it was the thing he always did.

He had to run away.

He was going to tell Tharn that he didn’t like him that much, he didn’t want to be in a relationship and make him believe.It would be easy for Type, since he wasn’t in that deep.Then he was never going to see the guy again, that would help.

He was really certain, nothing could change his mind, it was Type, if he decided on something even Techno knew there was no way to change his mind.It was one of those moments and Type also knew even seeing Tharn’s puppy eyes or hearing his voice wouldn’t change his mind, cause he thought about it for whole night.He knew this was for the best.

But his mind went blank for a whole minute when he spotted Tharn.

The drummer was wearing a black shirt, his chest was revealed as always and his bangs were seeming more curly than normal.

Type couldn’t recognize the boy who was hugging him.He seemed so much shorter than Tharn and Type saw his huge smile after he pulled back, seeming so happy to see Tharn.

But there was something.

Type was smart enough to notice the way that small boy kept touching Tharn’s arm, like he didn’t even want to stop touching.

He wasn’t a friend, Type was sure.

He took a step back.

But he kept watching them, Tharn was smiling gently as they talked about something Type wasn’t able to hear.

It was his ex? The boy seemed like Tharn’s type, he seemed cute and Type could imagine his voice without hearing them, even the way he chuckled and smiled at Tharn was cute.He seemed small and cute, probably more gentle than Type.

He turned his back at them and walked towards the door, he quickly went outside and took a deep breathe.

He didn’t have rights to go and make a fuss, how many times Tharn asked him out and he said no? He wasn’t his boyfriend, Type kept saying that, so who was he to tell him what to do? Why did he even want to tell him what to do?

“Damn it.” He mumbled before rubbing his face.

Did he really think Tharn would like him that much? Maybe he comforted him like that because he was nice, he even smiled like that to that boy.He was always smiling and being kind to everyone, why Type thought he was an exception? When he became an exception for someone? When he actually got himself something, someone that belonged to him? He didn’t even own a bed for years, he remembered the first time he got beaten for sleeping on a bench.Cause an old guy told him that it was his bench, he was always sleeping on it.That day Type realized he didn’t even own a bench, he never owned anything.

_“..if life is not giving us what we want, we just need to take it ourselves.”_

Was it too much to ask? It was the first time Type ever wanted to own someone.

“I like him---I fucking like him.” He mumbled to himself before walking back inside.

If it was just because Tharn was being gentle and nice, he wouldn’t feel the weird tug on his god damn heart when the boy touched him like that.Type didn’t want him to touch.

Tharn was that fucking bench at the park and Type wanted that bench.

“Oh---Type? Why didn’t you come yesterday? It was a great party---“ The owner of the club welcomed him warmly, causing Tharn to turn his head and stop talking to the boy.

“Hey.” A smile appeared on Tharn’s lips and Type decided, he fucking liked him.

“Hey.” He greeted back, looking at the small guy with curious eyes.

“Oh---I…will get you drinks, honey.” Jeed said, realizing the tension and probably knowing the boy, she quickly left them alone.

“Hello, I’m Tar.” The guy placed his hands together, introducing himself with a warm smile.

“I’m Type.” He said, trying to sound normal like he didn’t go through some deep mentalbreakdown minutes ago.

“I thought you wouldn’t be able to come.” Tharn quickly said, his eyes were focused on Type as he moved closer.He seemed like he wanted to touch but he didn’t, he knew Type didn’t like it and kept saying they were not in a relationship.

“I took care of the job earlier than I expected.” Type answered, earned a hum from the drummer.

“Is he your friend?” Type asked, pointing at the small and very happy boy who was still beside them.

“Oh---yes, he wasn’t here for a long time, he just came back from France.” Tharn said as the said boy nodded cutely.

Damn it.

Type couldn’t help but compare himself with the boy.If this was Tharn’s type, how the hell Type managed to stick together with him for months? Him and that boy seemed so fucking different, he was small, adorable, he had a small face, cute smile, his hair was fluffy and he did everything in tiny.

And there was Type, wearing some big ass black hoodie with his messy hair.He had broad shoulders, big hands and his everything was bigger and rougher than that boy.

“Thank you.” They said when Jeed came back with drinks.

“So---How was France, Tar? I missed your cute little face!” She giggled before squeezing his cheeks, Type just sighed, he was right.

They began to chat, asking him about his school and the city.Type was just listening and drinking, mostly thinking inside his head.

His eyes landed on a couple while the three were talking.The girl was touching the guy like she actually owned him.Type put the beer bottle against his lips as he watched the girl easily touching the guy’s shoulders.Was it normal for everyone? To be able to touch someone else like that? Was it just Type? He didn’t even feel comfortable during those weeks when Tharn kept hugging him on bed.Being touched was a thing, but he also didn’t feel comfortable while touching, cause he never did it.He only touched people during sex.

He kept watching the girl’s hand as she caressed the guy’s shoulder while talking.It seemed like such a simple move, the guy didn’t even pay attention at all.

Was Type able to give those kinda touches? Simple and gentle? Was there anything gentle about him?

“Type? Is everything alright?”

He stopped watching them when he felt Tharn leaning closer, whispering him while Jeed was talking to Tar.

“Yes---just sleepy.” Type answered.

“Do you want me to drop you off?” Tharn’s eyes turned into worried ones quickly.Actually Type liked it so much, the way Tharn showed emotions easily.He was almost jealous cause he wasn’t able to do it and seeing Tharn making it so easy was kind of nice.

“Hey hey lover boy---You still didn’t perform, remember?” Jeed said as she pointed at the stage. “I’m sorry, your man can’t leave yet.” She added, winking at Type.

And finally a real smile appeared on Type’s lips, realizing Jeed just picked him over that Tar guy.At the same time, for the first time during that night Tar’s sweet smile disappeared, probably because of the nicknames Jeed said.

“Sorry—I can drop you off later, maybe you shouldn’t drink.” Tharn suggested, grabbing Type’s bottle softly.

“Yeah.” Type mumbled and let him take the bottle, which caused Tharn and Jeed look at each other.

Cause Type never easily gave in.Yes he would let Tharn do it but after few death glares and curses.

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” He suddenly asked, making Tharn get even more surprised.

“Yes—Yes, of course.” He said after a while, feeling strange to see Type acting like that.He didn’t know it yet but Type was sleeping better with him.He always had sleeping problems, especially when his memories knocked on his door.But somehow he kept sleeping so peacefully at Tharn’s place.

“Are you sure that---you are fine? You look pale.” Tharn stated before touching Type’s cheek with the back of his hand, then pressing his hand on the boy’s forehead.

“Just sleepy, I told you.” Type mumbled before grabbing Tharn’s wrist and pulling his hand down.Which caused Tharn to look down cause he was used Type to push his hand, not pull it down softly like that.

But his surprised expression left and a small smile appeared on his lips when his hand was placed on Type’s thigh by the boy himself.

“P’Tharn.” Tar called and Tharn tried to stop smiling wider, but the fact that Type’s hand was resting on his was making him feel so giddy inside. “Are you guys…together?” Tar asked curiously, he never seemed this serious for all night.

Tharn was about to say no but he stopped when he felt the squeeze on his hand.He couldn’t hold it anymore as a damn bright smile appeared on his face.

“Yes.” Type answered. “And I suppose you are his ex?” He said softly, his tone wasn’t angry or challenging as normal.He was actually calm.

“Yes.” Tar answered, seeming anxious now. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Tar turned at Tharn.

“They wanted to keep it quiet until they get to know each other.” Jeed answered. “How about your brother?” She changed the topic and started to bomb him with more questions.

Tharn looked at Type apologetically, leaning closer.

“I was going to tell you after he left, but—“

“I know, it’s fine.” Type answered, his thumb moving over Tharn’s hand.

“Damn it---What happened to you?” Tharn bit his lip to stop smiling but he was feeling so good to see Type touching him willingly like that.

“What? Don’t you like it?” Type tried to pull his hand away but Tharn quickly moved closer.He didn’t notice Tar’s stares since he was completely focused on Type, cause the boy never did those small touches and it was enough to make Tharn feel so giddy.

“No no---I love it.” Tharn grabbed younger’s hand, placing it on his again. “So are we---together?” He asked with hopeful eyes and Type looked at him.

“Obviously.” He answered before rolling his eyes. “Do you have painkillers at home? My head is killing me.” He quickly changed the topic, averting his gaze before letting his head fall on the drummer’s shoulder softly.He closed his eyes tightly, his face probably seemed cool as always but his heart was beating so fast.Even this much skinship was scaring the shit out of him, he always wanted to run away when he wanted more, cause he knew it wasn’t his field.But he felt more scared when he saw Tharn talking to that guy, he didn’t want anyone else to have Tharn like that.

“Yes—My mom made some soup yesterday, I’ll warm it up for you.” Tharn said it with a full smile, his arm quickly circled around the boy’s waist and Type kept his eyes closed.

After a while he heard Tharn talking and realized that others were asking him questions.Tharn kept talking while his hand was caressing the hair on Type’s nape and Type realized he wasn’t confused, Tharn didn’t even think about Tar.He didn’t compare them like Type, his all attention was on Type from the first second he walked in.

Type smiled slightly before getting more comfortable against the drummer’s shoulder.

Tharn wanted him.

His eyes didn’t even hesitate for a second, he wanted to go home with Type, not Tar, not anyone else in that club who watched him with admiring eyes.

He wanted him.

Type was the one who was resting his head against him, he was the one whose hair was getting caressed gently.

Tharn offered him that bench, he could have it.

“Ahhh~~ I feel so great tonight, I wonder why~~” Tharn sighed happily before backhugging him. “Sooooo greeattt~”

“Shut up.” Type said but Tharn just chuckled, rubbing his face against Type’s shoulder.

“We are dating, get used to it.” Tharn said, kissing his shoulder softly before nuzzling against the crook of his neck.

“Don’t make me regret.” Type said with his furrowed eyebrows, trying to push him away but Tharn hugged him even tighter. “What are you doing—Tharn.”

The drummer kept placing small kisses on his neck with a smile, causing Type to whine.

“How about another round?” Tharn asked against to his skin as he caressed Type’s bare stomach.

“No---I said no—Ai’Tharn~” He kept whining but soon a smile appeared on his lips.

It was a strange feeling, someone actually wanted him.

Someone chose Type without wanting anything in return.

It was weird, it was strange, it slightly made him want to run away to not ruin it; but he was going to stay, the part in him which wanted to stay was bigger than the scared one.

“Type.” Tharn pecked his lips between their chuckles. “You look so good when you smile.” He said, placing another peck on his lips.

“Asshole.” Type cursed, but he was still smiling.

“No asshole---you should start to call me baby, honey---maybe sweetheart?”

“In your fucking dreams.” Type pushed his shoulders, earning a laugh from Tharn.

“Please, please~” Tharn kept rubbing his nose on Type’s face while younger grimaced and whined.

“We are dating but you are still the asshole.”

“I wanna be the baby.”

“Ass-hole!”

“Call me baby.”

“Stop it---Tharn---you are so stupid---are you serious? Stop it!” Type was trying to get mad but soon his chuckles filled the room cause Tharn kept rubbing his face on him playfully.

He was feeling good.

He was feeling really, really good.

He wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, nervous or weird.He liked the bench Tharn offered and maybe he could get used to this.


	7. Be Mine

Actually it wasn’t normal for Type, really, not even close.He already realized that he had to be brave about himself if he wanted to stick around Tharn, cause the guy wanted to date him, more importantly, wanted to do stuff couples did and Type never dated someone before.He was all about one night stands.

And he was practically a wooden board.

He didn’t know how to touch gently, he didn’t know how to caress, he didn’t know how to touch Tharn like those girls were doing to their boyfriends.

He was a real wooden board.

Until this age he never liked someone, never held hands, he didn’t flirt if it wasn’t ending in bed, he never even slept on the same bed with others.He was kind of used to it now since he spent a lot of days at the drummer’s house.

But still, he was a wooden board.He could feel it.

“P’Jeed.” He sat across the woman. “Can I ask you something?” He asked softly and saw the woman getting surprised since he never started a conversation before Jeed asked things first.

“Of course honey, is everything alright? Is it about Tar?”

Type’s eyebrows got furrowed with that.

“Tar?”

“Oh---I mean…He’s Tharn’s ex and all so..” She tried to cover what she said but Type gave her the look.

“Fine it’s just…---he still loves Tharn.” She said it with a pout.

“Then why did he want to break up?” Type asked, his eyes finding Tharn who was getting ready on the stage with his friends.

“Oh—you know that he’s the one who wanted to break up?” Jeed asked and Type nodded.

“Tharn told me everything.” He said and a smile appeared on Jeed’s face.

“Of course he did----okay don’t tell him this but—“ She suddenly leaned closer and grabbed Type’s hands on the little table between them. “He likes you so much—his eyes are always looking at the door until you step in.” She giggled. “I’m with him for a long time and believe me—I watched him loving Tar.” She patted his hand before pulling back. “—He was so kind, so giving, so soft—you know him.”

Type just nodded, averting his gaze for a second since he realized imagining Tharn with that boy actually pissed him off.

“But he didn’t fall in love with him.”

Type looked at her with that.

“Loving someone and falling for someone is different.” She smiled kindly. “He said that you guys are dating, he will never let Tar come close.He is not that kind of guy.”

“I know--it’s just…” Type sighed before scratching the back of his head. “It’s just that…-- I mean P’Jeed, you saw me and that boy together.”

Jeed nodded, trying to understand his point.

“We don’t even have one thing in common, we are not even similar.”

“Ooh..” She nodded, realizing what he was trying to say. “I know honey—he was always the precious kid of the team when they were friends, you know like the baby boy everybody wanted to take care of.”

“Obviously.” Type mumbled angrily before grabbing his beer.

“Actually I was also surprised when I saw you with him cause you were not his type at all.”

“Thank you, P’.” Type said with a disappointed face and she chuckled, shaking her head no.

“Maybe he found something better in you, better than those cute boys, don’t you think?”

Type just nodded, not feeling satisfied at all.

“Stop thinking that much, right now he only sees you.” She smiled, pointing at the drummer and making Type realize he was looking at their direction.

Tharn quickly gave him a smile and Type just stared back.

Damn it, he couldn’t even smile sweetly.He felt like it wouldn’t seem sincere, he kinda wanted to smile but it was like his body didn’t let him.He still had his shell and that shell wasn’t letting him be cute like those boys.

“Wooden fucking board!” He closed his eyes when Techno slapped him with the pillow.

“What—What did I do?!” He yelled angrily as his friend sat beside him on the couch.

“It’s your boyfriend—stop sitting with him like you guys met up for a business talk—the hell Type! I thought you were smarter than this!”

Type was about to swear at him but No was faster.

“I’m going out with Champ, you better break this damn weird atmosphere and get lovey dovey with your man.Damn you—we can die any day and you’re still being stubborn like this, I can’t believe he is putting up with your ass..” He kept whining while walking and Type could only watch his friend badmouthing him like that.

“Where did he go? Is this a trick to leave us alone?” Tharn asked with a smile as he walked back inside their small living room.He was wearing his grey housepants with a simple black T-shirt since he drove there after Type asked him to.

“You guys only have few, should I go and buy some more?” He asked, pointing at the beers while sitting beside Type on the small couch.

“It’s fine.” Type mumbled, grabbing the beer and almost drinking the half of it.

“Hey hey—easy there.” Tharn chuckled, gently tugging on Type’s beer. “You already had a lot at the bar.Is everything alright?” He asked, tilting his head and looking at Type.Younger was also changed into more comfortable clothes, he didn’t seem that harsh while wearing his blue shorts and white tank top.

“Why are you together with me?” He asked all of sudden.

“What?” Tharn seemed surprised.

“I’m not your type, I saw that cute boy and come on—there is nothing cute about me.” He said angrily, he was actually angry at himself because he wasn’t cute like that.

“It’s not about being cute.” Tharn was smiling while Type was ready to kill a man. “But—you are cute.” He leaned his arm on the back of the couch and rested his cheek against to his palm while looking at Type with a smile. “Really cute.”

“Oh come on—“ Type rolled his eyes.”—you just—“ Type stopped when Tharn leaned closer and placed his index finger on the middle of his eyebrows.

“You should stop doing that, angry bird.” He said while smiling softly and Type glared at him, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand down.

“I’m serious here, Tharn.” He looked at older, his eyebrows were still furrowed. “If you like cute, you won’t find it in me and it means—“ he got distracted when Tharn slid closer on the couch.

“I don’t want anyone else right now.I just want you.” Tharn said in a low tone as he grabbed Type’s hand on his lap and caressed his thumb gently. “This is where I wanna be, okay?” He said it seriously while looking into Type’s eyes and younger didn’t break the eye contact for a while.He stared to see how real it was, and he could see it, there was no hesitation, Tharn was really meaning it.

“Whatever.” He mumbled, his eyebrows relaxing as he averted his gaze. “Do you wanna watch a movie or something---You always whine about us not doing anything else than clubbing---I don’t know, I don’t have any idea what couples does.” He grumbled but pulled his head back when Tharn leaned closer with a grin.

“What?”

“Who?” Tharn asked with a goofy smile and Type blinked.

“Who?” He repeated.

“What did you just call us?”

“Ai’Tharn.” He whined when the drummer closed the distance between them and caused his back to lean against the armrest.

“Come on, say it again.” Tharn’s arms were already circled around his waist and Type tried to push him back.

“No—are you stupid?”

“Just once..Please, Type~” Tharn nuzzled his face on Type’s neck and hugged him tight to not let the boy push him.

“I said no, let me go.”

“Please~”

“No and—ah!” Type got startled and quickly slapped Tharn’s shoulder when the drummer bit his neck. “You asshole! Are you a dog?”

“Are you going to say it?” Tharn’s voice got lost on Type’s skin when he just mumbled against it.

“Why do you want to hear it---ugh! Tharn!” He hit his shoulder again and tried to push him off when Tharn bit him again, this time harder. “Stop it already..” Type’s tone was whiny and his eyebrows were furrowed when older pinned him down and placed his hand beside his head, his thumb ghosting over Type’s dark hair.

“I want to hear it cause I really want to be your couple.” Tharn said with a smile and Type glared at him, his fist was resting against the guy’s chest as he slightly pushed him.

“Cause you are an idiot.” He said angrily but Tharn just chuckled.

“Cause I like you so much.” Tharn said before placing a peck on the whiny boy’s plump lips. “Cause I want to be with you all the time.” He pecked his lips again and Type grumbled.

“Cause you are an idiot.” He tried to glare at him but Tharn just grinned before attacking him with pecks, causing Type to grimace and push him away.But soon he was also smiling and he didn’t even realize he was giving little kisses in return.

“Stop it—Fine, we are a couple.Happy now?” Type said with a light smile and heard Tharn sigh before he placed his head in the crook of Type’s neck.He placed himself beside the boy on the couch.

“Yes, I think I might get hard if you say that word again.” Tharn said as Type felt a soft kiss somewhere on his neck and he smiled.

“We already did it today.”

“So? I think I can never get bored of you.” Tharn mumbled as he placed another kiss on the boy’s neck, his hand caressing the other side of his neck gently.But he got surprised when he felt Type’s arms around of him.

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” Type asked and Tharn was about to lift his head up, but then he realized maybe Type felt better like this.He stopped for a while and nodded before nuzzling closer to his neck.He worked all day and drove to his house when Type invited him over, he was actually dead tired.

He closed his eyes, feeling so great to have Type’s arms wrapped around of him like that.

They didn’t talk or move for a while and Tharn was feeling close to sleep when he felt Type’s fingers inside his hair.

“You asshole, you really have soft hair.” Type cursed and Tharn quickly smiled against his neck. “Everything about you is so annoying.” Type said as he allowed himself to play with Tharn’s hair.It was weird at first, he didn’t even know how to move his hand at all.But then naturally, Tharn’s hair was brushing against his fingers and he kinda liked the feeling.It was close, Tharn was so close to him, he could feel his breathing against his neck and he was letting him caress his hair.It was strange for Type to have someone who was willing to do that.

“Ai’Tharn.” He called softly, his face wasn’t stressed anymore, also his body.They were literally cuddling on the couch, one of Tharn’s legs were between his and he was playing with Tharn’s hair while their arms were circled around each other.

“Hmm?” Tharn hummed against his skin.

“When I was at the orphanage, I found a book.” He started to talk but it wasn’t his usual tone, it was much softer and lower. “I liked it so much and read it every night—It was always on my bed, I was attached to it." He kept talking calmly and Tharn was just humming, he was really close to sleep. “—one day someone stole it and when I found him, he said the book was his.” He kept watching his fingers while caressing Tharn’s hair, his look was so calm and lips were pouty.His all guards were down.

“What did you do?” Tharn mumbled, the way Type touched him was pushing him to dreamland harder.

“His arm stayed broken for a month.” Type answered casually and felt the vibrations of it when Tharn chuckled against his neck. “I got the book back.” He said.

“Ai’Tharn—Do you get what I mean?” He shook the man gently but just earned a hum since the other guy was so comfy and close to sleep.

“That you are a tough one and you will break my arm if I make a mistake?” He said in a sleepy tone but opened his eyes slowly when he felt Type’s thumb on his chin.Cause younger lifted his head to be able to reach to his lips and Tharn’s eyes got closed again as the boy captured his upper lip.

“I licked it, so it’s mine.” Type said after pulling back and it took the sleepy one few seconds to realize what he meant. “Now just sleep and—“ Type tried to turn back to their earlier position but this time Tharn reached up and cupped his cheek, pulling him close for another kiss.It wasn’t passionate or too long, Type felt him pressing his lipson his and answered it in the same way.Both of them had their eyes closed, tongues were not even involved, the sweet kiss ended with Tharn pecking Type’s upper lip oh so softly, which made younger gulp before opening his eyes.Cause nobody acted like he was vulnerable, he was the tough cookie, the rude boy who always got treated like he was a damn bug and could survive in any condition.But Tharn was always leaving feathery kisses on his lips and skin like that, making him remember that he was also vulnerable inside.

“I sucked it, so it’s mine.” Tharn repeated his line with a little change and Type tried to not smile.

“No---enough.” Type quickly placed a hand on his chest when Tharn was about to lean down for another kiss.

“Why?” He quickly pouted, it was a new side of him Type discovered.He was always the oldest, the wise brother when others were around but he pouted a lot when they were alone.

“Cause last week I had a cold sore because of you abusing my upper lip.” Type said and Tharn sighed, his pout not disappearing as he lowered his head again, finding the comfortable place in the crook of younger’s neck and nuzzling again.

“I should buy you a lip moisturizer then.”

“I’m not using any lipstick.”

“I’m not spending a day without kissing you, try me.” Tharn said before tightening his hold on younger’s waist and Type smiled as he looked at the way Tharn snuggled close to him.This was the first time someone actually wanted him close like this, someone wanted to be loved by him.

“I will only put it on at home.” He said in a low tone, smiling before closing his eyes and resting his cheek against to Tharn’s hair.

He didn’t realize it before but not belonging to somewhere was horrible, he never knew who he was, who left him, why they left him, he didn’t even know why he was born.He always felt like he was wearing someone else’s coat, it didn’t belong to him, he was just wearing it.He never realized how terrible that was, he never felt like it was his life.He never had a strong connection, a feeling of home, anything close to that.

But now having Tharn in his arms like that, feeling him breathing softly against his skin, seeing him relaxing against to his body and completely trusting him made him realize something.

He didn’t actually live till this time.

Now he was feeling alive.


	8. First Impressions Last

During all the time they spent together, Type was mostly focused on himself cause it was a new chapter for him.So he didn’t notice how happy Tharn was, he was busy with having fights inside his head.He had hard time about trusting Tharn, about skinship, about letting him walk into his life like that; basicly, Tharn’s all existence caused him to look at himself and try to realize what he wanted to do.He didn’t notice it wasn’t normal for Tharn.He thought the man was so used to skinship, that was why it was so easy for him to embrace him on bed like that, or give that smoochies which Type still couldn’t get used to.Cause Tharn always had boyfriends, so younger thought he had nothing to feel strange.

But he was wrong.

“Tharn---don’t you think you should slow down a little?” Jeed gave him the look but Tharn looked at him like he had no idea what she was talking about.

“Why?”

“Why?” Jeed glared at him. “Cause you are looking at him with those heart eyes.” She pointed at his face while holding her glass and Tharn just chuckled.

“Why are you talking like that? Let him live.” Her husband sat beside her as Tharn went back to Type’s side with the drinks. “It’s Tharn, we all know he’s the romantic type.”

Jeed shook her head while looking at the two.

“He’s being different.” She said in a low tone and her husband got curious, looked at the direction she was looking at and puckered his lips.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“We saw him with a lot of boys, dumbass.” She suddenly slapped his head and he whined. “Did you ever saw him like this? He is depending on that boy too much.” She sighed. “He usually takes care of everything, he’s the romantic like you said, he focuses on making his partner satisfied.”

“So?” He was still confused as she glared at him.

“He’s always in charge!” She sighed like he was stupid.

“Oh—but..he doesn’t seem like he is in charge with him.” He finally got it as they watched Type fighting over their drinks and ending up with taking Tharn’s instead of the one older got for him.

“That’s the thing.” Jeed smiled softly. “I never thought he wanted to lean on someone.” She sighed before sipping her drink, realizing that even she couldn’t notice it despite the fact how close they were.Of course his partners wouldn’t notice it too.But Jeed was right, Tharn got attached to the boy in a short time cause Type was different.Tharn was used to give his all attention, time and everything to his partners, he loved to maket hem satisfied and comfortable just like Jeed said.He always felt like he needed to do something, remember everything, take care of them, he needed to do something to not let them walk away.Cause all of his partners left him in the past, he was never the side who wanted to break up.So it caused him to feel not enough, like he had to think more, act more.He didn’t realize it was making him carry all the weight.Everyone liked attention, of course his lovers were liking it.But soon he realized few of them mostly stayed with him because of the attention, nobody wanted to dump the guy who kept pampering them.He felt like they didn’t actually like him, they just liked to feel loved like that.

He had a lot of heartbreaks, he was a romantic as everyone said.But they didn’t notice it, Jeed didn’t, his brother didn’t, even Tharn himself didn’t notice that he never actually felt loved by his partners.He didn’t focus on it, he didn’t stop and look at his partner to see if they actually cared about him cause he was too busy with loving them.

Type thought he was the only one who was experiencing new things cause he wasn’t normal, but he didn’t know it was same for Tharn.

Type never had healthy relationships, he hardly had any relationships with other people; but on the other hand, Tharn’s relationships wasn’t so good either.He was always the giver, something was always wrong since his partners kept telling him he was being too much.

Both of them didn’t actually know how to stop being themselves.Type had to be softer if he wanted a lover, Tharn had to be tougher if he wanted someone.

But somehow, they both didn’t have to change themselves when they were together.

It seemed really weird from outside, they also knew it.It seemed strange and they didn’t seem suitable at all, nobody would guess they were dating after seeing them together.They thought Type was too rude, he was too self-centered to love someone else, or even give a shit about them.But they didn’t know the way he moved closer to Tharn on bed after being sure that he was sleeping, allowing himself to be vulnerable and let older hold him close.They thought Tharn was just having a good time, maybe he was bored of cute boys so he was having a different meal, teasing the angry boy and having fun; it would end soon anyway cause Tharn didn’t like sharp guys like Type.But they didn’t know the way Tharn rested his head on Type’s shoulder like he actually wanted to stay there for a long while.

Tharn liked how real Type was.He wasn’t being cute, he wasn’t just wanting attention, he was looking at Tharn like he wanted it all.

Tharn had a lot of partners, he desperately tried everyone to find his match cause he was a hopeless romantic.But he never met someone who wrapped his arms around of him in the same way Type did while they were having sex.He couldn’t remember someone kissing him like that, something about Type was clicking with something Tharn had.

Tharn really thought he loved all of his partners, he fell in love then fell out of it.But after months, he realized none of them was love.Did he ever feel like this before? He wasn’t even being the perfect boyfriend like he did with others, he was just being himself, he wasn’t trying hard and he realized he always tried hard cause deep down he knew his partners never liked him as much as he liked them.Type didn’t say that he liked him either, but he didn’t need to say it cause Tharn could feel it, and he realized it was what actually mattered.

He saw the boy’s eyes when Type met Tar for the first time, he watched younger desperately touching him like he needed to make sure if Tharn stil wanted him, not Tar.He saw the hesitation, he saw how confused Type was but younger stil chose to stay beside him and let Tar know they were together.

Nobody did something like that for Tharn before.He never felt like his partners were afraid of losing him, they didn’t even get jealous over him since they all knew Tharn would never do something like that.But Type got scared, Tharn saw his eyes that night.The boy didn’t want to lose him and Tharn realized why he liked Type that much.The boy was raw, he didn’t want someone to satisfy himself, feel loved or anything; Type wanted someone for himself, just for himself.And he didn’t know that was exactly what Tharn yearned for all his life.

“I’m in love with him.” Tharn said and Thorn sighed dramatically. “No---I’m serious! I want him to be the one for me---so please don’t push him too hard, he is not like my others exs.”

Thorn just nodded tiredly, Jeed already told him this boy wasn’t like others but honestly, he wasn’t so excited.He was just thinking ways to make his brother break up before he gets too caught up cause he was the one who always comforted him.

“When we are going to Jeed’s place? I owe her a drink.” He asked and Tharn checked his watch.

“We will be singing here for 2 hours—then we will go there, Type will be there too so please---don’t be harsh, okay?”

“I said fine.” Thorn rolled his eyes and Tharn was about to leave to find his band when they heard some rumbling.

“What’s happening?” Thorn tried to see when the noises got louder, now everyone was startled.

“It’s probably some..--- shit.” Tharn cursed under his breathe after seeing Type.

“I fucking hate to repeat myself! I said—give me the goddamn money you owe before I fucking break your all fingers!” Type growled to his face after throwing the guy on the bar and causing everything to break, girls kept screaming as they ran outside and Champ was chewing a gum as he calmly walked closer, caressing the guy’s hair before tugging on it too harshly until it made him groan.

“This is taking too long buddy, it’s not like we are asking for your money.It belongs to us, you know?” He said and Tharn looked at his brother.

“The hell is happening---I will call the cops—“

“Wait---“ Tharn quickly grabbed his hand.

“Cops? Who’s gonna call the cops, huh?” One of the guys heard them since it wasn’t just Champ and Type.They walked in with few more men cause the guy they pinned down had his guys around of him and all of them were blocking them as Type shook him to death.

Tharn quickly took the phone from Thorn when all heads were turned to them.His eyes found Type’s for a small moment.

“I will.” He said before Thorn could say anything and took a step forward. “Do you watch too many Western movies?” He said with a daring tone.

“I do, and what do you watch? Disney movies?” The guy smirked before walking closer to him and Type tried to stay focused.They had to take the money as soon as possible and leave the place before things go out of the hand.It was always risky with other people since they liked to go overboard and it was hard to control everyone when their number was high.

“Call them, why aren’t you calling?” The guy smiled as he looked at Tharn and he didn’t even notice the other one behind him, he just found himself on the floor with the strong kick he felt on his legs.

“The rich prince doesn’t like to see some fights, why?---Are you scared, sweetie?” He was stil picking on Tharn when they all stopped, hearing Type breaking a glass right beside the guy’s head and pressing the sharp part on his palm.

“I swear to God---if you don’t give me the money right now, I will get them off---one by one.” Type seemed scarier than normal and only Champ knew the reason.They didn’t have No this time since Champ knew it could be a little dirty and didn’t want him to get involved.

“We don’t want to get that harsh, do we?” Champ said, stil seeming so calm like it was such a normal night. “Let’s take him to the back, I’m sure he will give us the money after a small chat.” He said with a small smile and few men nodded, grabbing the guy who was already bleeding from few parts.

“Wait here, don’t make more fuss.” Champ said and Tharn realized he was in charge.

“I don’t like this city for a reason.” Thorn mumbled, just like everyone, one of the guy’s were also pressing him down on his knees by his shoulder.

“P.”

“—Are you okay?—“ Tharn tried to get up when he noticed one of his bandmates but a strong punch landed right on his face.

And that was it.

He was trying to stay calm to not make things more complicated but he didn’t hold himself back and punched that guy back.

And after that, things got a little complicated.

Thorn did the same, his friends also attacked to others and all of sudden everyone was trying to take each other down.

“Do you want to play a game? Huh?! Do you think it’s some kind of pinky world you can be the hero, you dickhead?!” Everyone stopped their movements when they heard a gunshot and it was the guy who kept picking on Tharn, he was aiming it right at him with a smug face.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you wanna be a hero anymore?” He asked with a smile.

“Pussy.” Tharn said after wiping the blood of his lips and the guy stared at him.

“What did you just say?”

“If you need a gun to feel strong, that’s a pity.” He said and the other guy chuckled before mumbling a curse, he was about to get closer to Tharn when all of sudden someone punched the guy before he could destroy his handsome face with the back of his gun.

“I’m done with your bullshit!” Type grabbed his collar after punching him. “Shut the fuck up—right now!” He demanded angrily and Tharn stopped for a moment, he would definitely fight back if it was the other one, but it was Type.

He stayed stiff and let the boy took the charge, which caused Thorn to get surprised.

“P, just let me shut his mouth and—“

Thorn got even more surprised when the guy tried to approach them but got kicked so hard by the boy who punched Tharn.

“Shut the hell up! Who said you can fucking create a mess?! Don’t fucking carry a gun if you’re gonna act like a stupid cunt!” He kicked him once more and the guy just hissed, not daring to say anything or get up since Type was on a higher place than him.He just let him take his gun and glared at Tharn like it was all his fault.

“No more stupid fucking cunts and heroes!” Type yelled before looking at Tharn and pushing him back harshly.

“All right ladies, time to go back.Part is over---thank you all for coming.” Champ clapped while walking inside. “Sorry fort he trouble gentlemans, I hope you will have fun during the rest of the night.” He winked at the people they forced to stay still and wait.In few seconds they were all released and Type left without giving Tharn another look.

“What a fucking night---Don’t ask me why I don’t wanna come to this city again—All I wanted was a peaceful night—are you okay?” Thorn asked as he saw Tharn’s swollen cheek and bleeding mouth.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled before checking on his friends.The night already ended since everyone was beaten, they called Jeed before going straight to home.

“For real—the last time I came here to listen to your band, something like this happened and I got punched again—what’s this city, Texas or something?” Thorn kept grumbling after walking out of the shower, having a towel on his shoulders and already wearing Tharn’s house pants.

“All cities have this kind of things, it’s just that your vulnerable soul is not used to it.” Tharn mocked and Thorn glared at him.

“Said the one who didn’t punch that bossy boy.” Thorn said. “For real—you did good, I felt like he was scarier than the one with a gun.God knows what would happen if you punched him.” He said, more like to himself and it caused Tharn to sigh.

Yeah, God knew what would happen.

Thorn was eating in the kitchen when Tharn walked towards the bathroom.He really didn’t know how to feel about all of this.He checked his phone but there was nothing, he didn’t call Type either cause he didn’t know what to say.He decided that after taking a cold shower he would feel better and then he could talk to younger.

“Tharn!” His brother called his name when he heard the doorbell but he stood up since someone was ringing the bell so aggressively.

“Who the fuck—What?” He grimaced after opening the door and seeing the boy who punched his brother hard and insulted him in a room filled with people.

“Who are you?” Type suddenly asked and it caused Thorn’s chin drop.

“Who am I?” He pointed at himself. “I should ask you that---what the fuck are you doing here?”

They stared each other for a while and Type quickly pushed the door when Thorn was about to close it on his face.

“What are you doing—Hey!” He couldn’t stop him when Type literally barged in after hitting him with his shoulder.

“Where is Tharn?—Tharn!” He yelled while checking every room and Thorn was standing there with an open mouth, trying to realize what the fuck was happening.

“Tharn!” He tried to open the door after hearing the water but it was locked. “Oh---are you taking a shower? How nice---Coming home and taking a shower after almost making me kill a fucking guy!” He hit the door and it caused Thorn to close his eyes as he got startled on his face.

“Type?” Tharn opened the door with his wet hair and a towel around of his waist.

“Who else—What the fuck were you doing there? Do you think—“

“Wait wait---Did you just call him Type?” Thorn raised his hand.

“Oh it’s..” Tharn pressed his lips together.

“The Type..---That Type?” He pointed at the mad boy who was stil grimacing at his brother. “—No---you are joking.” He chuckled but then quickly glared at Tharn. “Tell me that you are joking, Tharn!”

“Uh..I…--“

“The fuck is this---did you put some ice on it?” Type grabbed his face harshly, turning his cheek to take a look since it seemed purple.

“You are the one who punched me.” Tharn said with a sulky face.

“Well---He was going to crush your face—it was the only idea I could come up with since your dumbass couldn’t stay quiet!” He yelled again and Tharn hissed in pain when younger pressed his fingers on the swollen part of his cheek.

“I’m going to lose my fucking mind.” Thorn mumbled at the view.Jeed said he was different, but he didn’t give details.

“Type…--this is my brother, Thorn.” Tharn said in a low tone while pointing at his traumatised brother with his head.

“Your..—brother?” Type blinked for a second.

“Yes.” Tharn smiled, it was a painful smile.

“This is not happening---I’m not allowing this!” Thorn said while panicking in the other side of the room.His vulnerable brother was literally talking about a street dog like he was made of stars and Thorn was more than panicked, cause he saw Type that night and there was no way for him to leave him brother with that kind of person.

“Why didn’t you tell me your brother was coming—are you fucking serious?!” Type hit his arm before leaning closer and whispering in a threatening way.

“You are getting away from my brother—right now.” Thorn aimed his index finger at him and Type quickly moved away, now he learnt that he was Tharn’s brother and tables have turned.

“Okay just---let’s just stay calm, and have a talk---alright?” Tharn tried to smile but both of them glared at him like they wanted to kill him on the spot.

“Yes---such a long night.” He sighed before leading them to the living room.

Things got a little bit complicated, indeed.


	9. Blue

“Listen to me first—“

“No---Tharn—Did you lose your mind?!” Thorn was still mad and it wasn’t easy to get him this mad. “This guy and his gang attacked a lot of people in front of us! When did you become someone like this?! How can you even---be friends with him?!” He pointed at the white shirted boy who was sitting beside his brother on the couch.Type wasn’t acting like before, he was the exact opposite.He was sitting there quietly as he kept looking at the carpet.

“P’Thorn! You should watch your—“ Tharn quickly stood up as he heard the way his brother was talking but Type grabbed his wrist before he could move and gave him the look, which made Tharn sigh before sitting down again.That moment made Thorn pause for a moment, he knew nobody could actually stop Tharn from saying the right thing for him.But he quickly shook it off.

“He beat people—“ He pointed his index finger at Tharn as he kept standing in front of them. “—he punched the shit out of a guy right in front of us and threatened him—“ He suddenly turned to Type. “Would you actually cut his fingers if the other guy wouldn’t take him away?”

“P’Thorn!” Tharn tried to interfere but Type nodded.

“I would.” He said while looking at Thorn and he quickly looked at his brother again.

“See?—He punched you on the face and he was carrying a gun, Tharn! Have you lost your mind?!” He sighed angrily before rubbing his face, he was really trying to understand what made his brother like someone like that. “You don’t even like that kind of movies---you don’t even like that kind of people.” He mumbled, more to himself since he knew his brother.Tharn was a kind sweetheart since his childhood and he never liked rude people at all.

This was beyond rude.

“Is this because of Tar?” He asked after a while, nobody dared to say anything while he was thinking aggressively. “—After he broke up with you, you couldn’t get over it and—“

“P’.” Tharn looked at him. “You already know it’s not that.”

“Then it’s what?! This is nonsense! You told me that you’re actually serious about him, you even wanted to take him home---you never did that—not even with Tar! And now are you telling me that he is some kind of punk?! You’re gonna get settled down with someone like this?!” He suddenly bursted out cause he was worried, he saw the way Tharn talked about him and he knew Tharn never left his partners, so he knew he would never leave that boy if the boy wouldn’t and it scared him.The boy seemed like he was doing some underground job Tharn used to hate and maybe he was just using his brother since he was rich, or anything else.Cause these whole thing didn’t add up, it was so ridiculous.

“I will—“

“Type.” Tharn quickly followed him when Type suddenly stood up.

“I will leave you two alone to talk—I’m sorry for all the trouble, P’.” He said to Thorn before putting his hands together and bowing.

“Tharn! Are you serious?! If he is gonna chicken out after a small talk then let him go!” Thorn said angrily as he saw Tharn was about to follow the boy out.

“He is an orphan.” Tharn said as he looked at his brother like he was disappointed. “And you said every wrong word you could say.” He said in a low tone. “You could listen me first.” He said before walking out as well, more like running since he wanted to catch Type.

Younger was already stressed about everything.He couldn’t stop thinking about Tharn after they left the club and he was scared, he was hella scared of seeing Tharn looking at him with some kind of disappointed eyes because of what happened.That’s why he ran to his place when he got the chance, he needed to be sure, he needed to see Tharn and be sure that he was still wanted.

“Type!” Tharn quickly grabbed his arm and Type sniffled before fixing his expression and turning his face at his boyfriend.

“Why did you follow me? Go talk to your brother—we already messed it up.” He tried to say it in his usual tone, but he was feeling scared again.Maybe his brother would make him realize he didn’t really like Tharn in a way he thought.Tharn was a good son, he was good at everything, he wouldn’t keep staying with him if his family didn’t approve it anyway.

“Why are you leaving like you’re never gonna come back again?” Tharn said after gulping, Type was insecure about the possibility of Tharn’s feelings could change but he didn’t know Tharn was no better than him.Nobody took any hardships for him before, hell, they didn’t even stay when Tharn made sure everything was perfect.And Type’s personality was rough, he was younger and impatient, it made Tharn got scared too.What if things would go a bit hard and Type would feel like it wasn’t worth it?

“You should go back and—“

“Type.” Tharn stepped closer as he grabbed younger’s hands and looked at him. “I want this.” He said with the most gentle eyes, Type was used to see that private look in Tharn’s face, he never saw it with others but he saw it for few times when they were alone.He also knew Tharn wanted to say that he loved him instead of that, but older wasn’t saying it loud since he thought Type wasn’t ready to hear it, and maybe he was right.

“If you leave like this he will think that you can’t even handle some scolding for me.” He caressed Type’s hands softly. “Let’s go back and talk to him, na? Don’t leave like this, it won’t be real if you don’t stand beside me while I’m talking to him.”

Type sighed as he saw the same gentle look in Tharn’s eyes, it was like a puppy look, a look that made Type gave in every fucking time.But the look was a secret, it was like a pinch Type felt everytime he thought Tharn wasn’t loving him, a pinch making him realize it was still there, Tharn was still looking at him with those gentle eyes he never showed to anyone, so it meant he was still wanted.

“Fine.” Type rolled his eyes before pulling his hands back. “You should’ve told me your brother was coming---“ He kept grumbling as he turned back to the stairs and Tharn smiled.

“I wanted to make a surprise! You wouldn’t come to the bar if I told you my brother was coming!” He said as he quickly followed younger upstairs.

“Yeah—such a surprise, Tharn.” He glared at him.

Thorn opened the door and Tharn looked at his brother.

“Do you want to listen us or not?” He asked and Thorn just nodded silently before opening the door wider, inviting them in.

He kept looking at Type until they sat down, them sitting bisedi each other and Thorn sitting across them.

“I know that you are worried.” Type suddenly said when Tharn was about to talk and he got surprised, just like Thorn.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have a nice job, a good background or anything that you want to see.” He said in a soft tone, he wasn’t using his Type face or tone and it really surprised Tharn.He wasn’t expecting him to be this kind to his brother.

“But if we would meet at the bar like Tharn planned, wouldn’t you like me?” He suddenly asked and Thorn furrowed his eyebrows.

“I guess so.”

“I’m actually glad it happened this way.” Type suddenly said and Thorn was confused, but Tharn smiled softly since he knew what younger meant.

“I mean—that’s me.” He looked at Thorn. “That’s the kind of life I had to live and that’s the person your brother chose to be together with.”

Thorn was about to say something but Type didn’t let him.

“But I’m trying to be better.” He said and Tharn was speechless, he kept staring at Type with his surprised eyes but the boy was looking at Thorn instead. “If you gave a chance to other boys who just took everything Tharn offered and didn’t even care about him, I think I deserve a chance too.” He suddenly said and Tharn pressed his lips together, this was his boyfriend indeed. “Cause I can assure you that I care about him more than all of them did.” He said with a steady voice, his tone wasn’t daring, he was talking with manners and it made Tharn giddy inside cause it meant Type also wanted this to be long, he didn’t want to do anything stupid that could ruin something.He knew Type, younger wouldn’t explain himself, he didn’t even say those things to Tharn but he actually tried to tell Thorn cause he didn’t want him to hate him; cause he wanted to stay with Tharn.

Thorn sighed before rubbing his forehead and closing his eyes for few seconds.

He remembered the moment Type actually flew to the other side of the room right before that guy was about to attack Tharn.Yes he punched Tharn but thinking about it now, Tharn would have it so much worse if the other guy could make a move.Plus Tharn had a lot of lovers, Thorn always met them even though Tharn never took any of them to meet his parents and none of them, not even Tar talked to him like this.

This boy was different, a lot more than he could imagine.He really looked at him in the eyes and said those things with his whole chest.

“Just let me get some sleep, it was a long night.” He mumbled as he stood up, not looking at any of them as he walked to the guest room.

“What?” Type furrowed his eyebrows when he felt the weight on his shoulder and realized Tharn was leaning his head against to it with a stupid smile.

“Nothing.” He mumbled as his smile got wider and he rubbed his cheek against the boy’s shoulder.

“Stop smiling—“ Type moved his shoulder to make him move away but Tharn snuggled even closer.

“I liked the way you talked, can’t I?” He asked as he rested his chin on the boy’s shoulder and Type raised his eyebrows.

“What about it? I was just talking.” He said as he stood up but Tharn quickly followed him and wrapped his arms around of him from behind.

“You talked like I was yours.” He said in a lower tone. “I liked it.” He placed a peck close to his ear and Type slightly turned his head to see him.

“You don’t want to be?” He asked while Tharn was caressing his stomach as usual.At this point none of them actually payed attention to it.

“Yours?” Tharn completed the word younger didn’t dare to say and when Type just nodded, Tharn’s smile was shining so bright.

“Does that mean you want to top me?” He whispered and gained a hit from Type’s elbow, which made him back of while grumbling in pain but still smiling.

“Asshole.” Type said, turning his face at him. “I don’t want that.”

“You don’t?” Tharn grinned as he moved closer again.

“I already punched you once today, are you asking for more?” Type glared at him when Tharn’s hand circled around his waist and found its personalized place.

“You don’t?” Tharn repeated with a smile as he rubbed his nose against Type’s.

“Yeah, I don’t.” Type tried to hide the smile which was trying to appear on his lips. “I’m good like this.” He said and couldn’t keep it anymore when the corner of his lips curled up.

“Tharn.” He placed his fist against the man’s shoulder. “Your brother is here and he is already traumatised by me.” He looked at Tharn when the man was leaning for a kiss.

“I already told you.” Tharn said with a smile and Type furrowed his eyebrows.

“—that I won’t spend a day without kissing you.” He said before stealing a peck from Type’s upper lip and yonger quickly hit his shoulder.

“Cheesy.”

“It’s called romance, you can try it sometime.” Tharn pouted and he was about to pull back when his pout worked, making Type place his hand on his neck softly.

“Fine.” Type suddenly said and Tharn couldn only blink when it was Type’s turn to steal a quick peck. “The one who spends a day without kissing, loses.” He said before pulling back. “And for your information, I never lose.” He said with a cheeky smile and Tharn could only chuckle, Type really had him wrapped around his finger.

_**-** _

“I can’t believe you let this happen.” Thorn glared at Jeed and she just sighed.

“He is the best among your brother’s ex lovers, Thorn.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

She gave him a drink before looking at his face with her raised eyebrows.

“You are judging before watching, Thorn.” She said softly. “Tharn is a brother to me and we both know him well.Just stop judging and put that fight aside.”

“But how? He was so barbaric and he was about to—“

“I’m telling you to stop it.” Jeed didn’t let him finish. “You kept saying same things for a week but you are not listening to me.” She placed her hands on the bar. “Are you even looking at him?” She pointed at Tharn with her head. “Did you ever see him this happy?”

Thorn just sighed.

“Look---I’m not telling you to accept Type completely, I’m just asking you to watch and see---I wasn’t joking when I said this boy is different.”

“What if he is just using Tharn, Jeed? You know it happened in past and he seems brutal.Tharn never got together with someone like this, I don’t even know what to do.” He said, he wasn’t someone who wanted to break two people apart just because they didn’t match.He was worried for his brother cause he was together with someone he wouldn’t even be friends with and he didn’t want Tharn to have another heartbreak.Plus he saw the way Type controlled him, Thorn never saw that before cause all of Tharn’s boyfriends used to be kind boys.They usually let Tharn do the talk or lead the way, but that night Type lead everything, he even made him stop when he was about to fight with Thorn and Thorn wasn’t an idiot.A week was enough to see Type’s power on Tharn.

“Stop panicking and just look at them for a while, okay?” Jeed said, patting on his hand softly. “Trust me, you’ll get what I mean.”

Thorn just sighed before taking a sip from his drink.

“I hope so.” He mumbled, he was still worried about Type and didn’t trust him at all.But he knew Tharn wouldn’t break up with him even if Thorn told him to, so Jeed’s advice was the best option for now.

_**-** _

It was bad.

Like really really bad.

Thorn tried to talk to Tharn but his eyes seemed so empty.He was too sad.It meant alarm, red alarm.Cause the last time Tharn’s eyes were like this, he shut himself into his room for two week and didn’t even talk to them.It was when he was a kid and his beloved parakeet died.Nobody could comfort him, he always loved animals too much and it hurt him too much even when he was a kid.

Thorn sighed before grabbing Tharn’s phone.

 _‘Can you come over? It’s Thorn._ ’ He texted Type not so willingly.But it was his last chance.It had been more than 12 hours since their mom called and told them Tharn’s cat passed away.She was staying at vet since she got worse after her operation and she couldn’t make it.

Tharn wasn’t saying anything.

He didn’t cry his heart out or scream when his parakeet died either, he just locked himself in like he was trying to bear with the pain.He never liked to be a burden since he was a kid, maybe that was why it took longer to heal.

Thorn was kind of surprised when the doorbell rang after 2 hours.He remembered Tharn mentioning Type’s place being pretty away from there, so it was fast.

“Is everything alright?” Type asked with a worried expression and Thorn facepalmed.

“I’m sorry—I forgot to tell you.” He said as he let the boy in. “His cat died.”

“Blue?” Type asked and Thorn got surprised, he already know her name.Did he really talk about his cat to a vulgar guy like him---no, did this guy actually pay attention while he was talking about his cat?

“Yes.” He mumbled. “He says that he’s okay but he doesn’t seem like that, you know.” Thorn tried to talk in a normal way but it was weird since he didn’t really talk to Type during the time he stayed there.

“Type? What happened?” Thorn looked back as he heard Tharn’s voice.

“Oh—it’s nothing.” Type touched his face after realizing where older was staring at.He had new bruises and of course Tharn quickly noticed.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Tharn said as he walked closer. “I thought you wouldn’t come tonight.” He said while touching younger’s cheek to see if it was something serious.

Type looked at Thorn over Tharn’s shoulder and the guy raised his eyebrows, meaning no.

“I was just passing by---I had a job close to here.” He said and Thorn nodded at him before walking away and letting the two stay alone.

He talked to their mother before sleeping since she was also worried about Tharn.Thorn didn’t even know if he did the right thing with calling Type cause his brother seemed worried over his bruises like he wasn’t in a bad state.

He sighed before walking out of his room quietly, wanting to see what was happening since he heard their voices, it meant they were not in Tharn’s room.

If he needed to be honest, he was really surprised to see his brother resting his head on that boy’s chest on the couch.He just realized that he never saw a scene like this.He spent a lot of time with Tharn and saw all of his lovers, but why he never see him like this? It was such an easy gesture, but he never saw Tharn doing it.

He got even more speechless when he heard Tharn sniffling.He couldn’t see his face from the place he was hiding but he could see Type’s.His face was so different like it didn’t belong to the guy Thorn saw at that bar, he seemed really different.

“It’s scary.” Tharn said and Thorn was sure he was crying. “—They can just leave you like that---I mean one day they are here and the other day you don’t have them anymore.” He said, his tone was so low like he was actually trying to not cry and Thorn didn’t know what to do cause this was so strange.Tharn never let himself go like this, he never let others take care of him or take his guard down.He always acted responsible and mature.

“How is it?” Type’s hand was resting against Tharn’s cheek, his thumb was drawing circles in a calm routine.

“What?” Tharn sniffled again before looking up, resting his cheek on younger’s cheek to see him.

“Having a pet.” Type brushed his hair back and Thorn was kind of confused, he really thought Type wasn’t able to act soft like that.

“It’s like having a kid.” Tharn chuckled and Thorn saw Type smiling. “After some time you can understand what’s wrong from the way they walk or look—you know, once she peed on my bed and had a sad look on her face—you can’t even get mad at them.”

“You wouldn’t get mad at her even if she didn’t have a sad face, idiot.” Type pinched his cheek and Tharn chuckled, few tears were shining on his cheeks before youngers thumb wiped them away.

“She was just so cute, you should’ve met her.” He said with a sad voice before resting his head on younger’s chest again. “—I was so used to having a cat but I don’t think I can get another one.” He mumbled sadly, holding Type’s hand which was still resting on his cheek as he had a pouty expression.Actually it was also new for him, he never let this whiny and pouty side out since he used to deal with everything himself, even for others, he thought he was good at it and he was actually, but he realized sometimes having a shoulder to lean on was so much better than dealing with all alone.

“Meow.”

They were kind of cuddling on the couch when he pulled his had back immediately and looked up at Type.

“Did you just..—You didn’t.”

“Do you want me to be your cat?” Type leaned closer with a playful expression.

“What?” A stupid smile appeared on Tharn’s face while his cheeks were still wet from crying.

“The offer will be unavailable in 5 seconds.5,4,3—“

“Wait wait!-“ Tharn quickly pulled himself up on the couch to be able to get closer to Type. “Is that mean you will meow again?” He asked with sparkling eyes and Thorn was still watching when Type caressed Tharn’s sideburn before talking, he really seemed like he didn’t want Tharn to cry.

“Your brother is in the goddamn house, Tharn.” He answered with his usual tone but Tharn groaned.

“You started it---I’m already upset! Typeee~~” He pouted and kept rubbing his cheek on the boy’s shoulder like everytime he wanted something. “I’m really upset----like really really and—“

“Meow.” Type said after leaning close to his ear, it was almost like a whisper but it was enough to make Tharn forget about everything.Soon they both started to laugh and Thorn left right at time, he didn’t have to see his brother pecking all over Type’s face.

He went to his room and grabbed his phone.

 _‘I need your help, San.’_ He texted his friend, he really needed help cause he was too confused about this, he didn’t trust Type and he couldn’t just leave his brother with him and leave.But he also couldn’t tell Tharn to break up since the boy seemed like he actually cared about him.

He needed help.


	10. Cheek To Cheek

"When are you leaving?" Tharn asked and Thorn sighed, leaning his back on the couch with a smug face.

"I'm thinking about staying for few more--"

"It's been weeks, Phi!" Tharn hit his chest with the pillow he was holding. "I miss my boyfriend! Just go away already!" He whined angrily but Thorn just hugged the pillow and put an innocent face.

"I'm not doing anything, you keep seeing him."

"It's not the same." Tharn glared at older. "He is not comfortable with you around and--" 

"He is not letting you fuck him, is that it?" Thorn raised his eyebrows and Tharn sighed, knowing where this was going.

"It's not that, he is still not used to have people around of us.It was only two of us for a long while and he didn't have any relationship before, plus he--"

"Did you guys have sex since I came here?" Thorn gave him a look, causing Tharn to sigh and shook his head no while looking down.

"He is not on the same page with you Tharn." He turned his body to Tharn, his expression getting serious as he looked at his brother. "He is trying to run away, can't you see? You always wanted someone to spend your life with, settle down and have a life---he doesn't even let you when I'm here--"

"It's because he is--"

"No, Tharn." He looked at his brother worriedly. "It's because he can handle the idea of you overpowering him behind doors, but he is not mature enough to do it while others knows."

"It's..-- It's not like that." Tharn tried, pausing after ruffling his hair and trying to not give in.He didn't want to think like that, Type liked him too, Type wanted him too, he wouldn't just run away because of that.

Would he?

"Tharn." He grabbed Tharn's hand. "He is not ready for a relationship, maybe with a girl-- yes, he can pull that off. But he will always make you hide in shadows like this, he can't just hold your hand and bear with the idea of others thinking you guys are together.You know it too." He patted on his hands, feeling sorry to see the look on Tharn's face.It seemed like he didn't want to think about these cause he also felt like that.

"I will--- get us some chicken for dinner." Tharn stood up, not wanting to keep talking.

“Tharn---stop running away, let’s talk about this.” Thorn grabbed his arm and Tharn sighed before looking at his brother.

“Are you really waiting for me to break it off with him to turn back, Phi?” He glared at Thorn. “Then suit yourself, I’m not doing that soon.” He said before grabbing his jacket and heading out.

He didn’t need Thorn to point things out, Tharn was already aware of those things.That was why he felt so special when Type actually chose to be intimate with him like that in front of Tar, cause he was trying to adjust himself in the picture, make Tar understand that Type was there and wasn’t planning to go soon.Tharn already knew Type didn’t go to a lot of places with him because of that, they were spending most of their times in the bar and Tharn’s house, he was also comfortable at bar since nobody usually cared for anything and Type was already used to have Jeed around; but Tharn also could feel the way Type stepped back after Thorn appeared.Not that he was scared, he knew Type would break it off with him in the second he felt like he didn’t like it, but Type was still with him, it meant he wanted to stay.He really made that talk with Thorn and had it clear, but Tharn could also look from Thorn’s side too.His brother saw all of his partners and Tharn knew even if he didn’t say it loud, he was impressed by the way Type talked to him that day, cause the boy wasn’t being cheesy or acting like they were a flirt, Type wasn’t acting like a cute bottom guy who liked to be pampered and didn’t like to get involved in serious things.No, he actually had nerves to sit in front of Thorn after punching his brother like that and storming into his house, kicking his door and yelling at him; Type was an aggressive one, but he was also crystal clear.Nobody could make him fake things, even Tharn would beg him to make that talk he would never do it if he didn’t really want it, and Tharn knew his brother saw that too, that boy wasn’t tamed.

Not at all.

“Hey—What are you doing here?” Type furrowed his eyebrows as he saw Tharn laying on his bed.

“Techno took me in.” White shirted guy answered as he sat on the bed to take a look at Type, they didn’t see each other for few days, 3 days to be exact but Tharn was trying to not make it obvious that he was dying to see him since he knew Type would just run away.

“And who said that you can lay on my bed?” Type leaned down, glaring at Tharn after taking off his jacket and throwing it on the chair.

“Hey!” His eyebrows made the aggressive frown Tharn liked when the older grabbed his arm and pulled him down on the bed.

“I was looking for a good boy, they told me there is one around.” Tharn teased with a grin as he kept holding his arm and giving him his weight to not let the boy get up.

“Good boy your ass—“ Type glared at him, his eyebrows were out of control and it made Tharn chuckle.He really missed him.

“Calm down, I was just joking.” Tharn said with a soft smile but it disappeared when he noticed the redness on younger’s neck.

“What happened?” His fingertips moved on the scar, it was obvious that someone grabbed him really hard by his throat, Tharn could almost see the handprints.

“It’s fine.” Type said and pushed the guy away since Tharn loosened his grip because his attention was on Type’s neck.

“Type.” He grabbed the boy’s wrist again when younger stood up. “Are you okay? You’re having too many injuries lately.”

“I said—I’m fine.” Type pulled his hand away harshly and Tharn looked at him.

“What’s wrong? I don’t understand—Did I do something wrong?” His eyes were looking for a sign as he scanned the boy, Type was obviously uneasy and not touching him at all.

“Type…” He stood up since the boy didn’t give him an answer but when he was about to touch his arm, Type stepped back and lifted his hand, mentioning him to stop.

“Just—stop doing this.” He said with his closed eyes, looking down instead of Tharn and seeming pissed off.

“Doing what?” Tharn was puzzled.

“Acting like I’m the girl you are fucking and feeling responsible of!” He suddenly snapped, causing Tharn to blink for a while.

“What?” Tharn looked at him.

“You are—you are just---acting like I’m a girl.” Type seemed angry while trying to find the right words but the thing was, he wasn’t looking at Tharn with fiery eyes as he always did while they were fighting.He kept moving around the room, his arms never stopped moving as he raised his voice.

He seemed stressed.

“You keep trying to pay for everything---always asking me if I’m okay like I’m a fucking girl and---and looking at me like this!” he pointed at Tharn’s face as he lifted his head and looked at older. “I’m a guy—but you are looking at me like I’m your wife!” He shouted, looking at Tharn’s face and waiting for a reaction but Tharn just looked at him calmly before taking a step closer.

“This?” He pointed at his own face. “This is me looking at you like you’re a girl?”

Type just kept staring at him with his furrowed eyebrows.

“This is me looking at someone I love.” He said in a low tone with a disappointed look.This was the first time he ever used love word with Type, but he didn’t really care at the moment.

He took another step closer to the boy and Type didn’t move.His face was still same but his eyes gave him a bit, like he got confused.

“This is me—trying to take care of someone I love.” He shook his head, seeming really disappointed as he looked around before looking at Type again.

“There wasn’t a single second I saw you as a girl, I—“ He licked his lips angrily. “Thorn was right.” He said and something changed in Type’s eyes.

“About what?” He asked angrily, but his eyes seemed panicked.

“He said you can’t handle the idea of me overpowering you and---I said it’s not true.” He chuckled angrily and Type was just standing there cause he never saw older like this before.He seemed disappointed.

“Do you think it’s easy for me?” He suddenly looked at Type with a serious face. “I never dated someone like you before---you saw Tar, you saw what kind of guy he was--do you really think it’s so easy for me to be together with someone completely different?”

“If it’s not easy, let’s break up then!” Type yelled angrily, he was really too insecure about this topic.It took him weeks to get over Tar and Tharn mentioning this again was the last drop.

“What did you say?” Tharn moved even closer and Type looked back at him when the guy stared at him strongly.

“I already told you that I’m not cute! I told you that I’m not—“

“What—“ He took another step forward and their bodies were almost touching when he gave him a really cold look. “—did you say?”

Type would repeat it, yell it to his face, but he didn’t really mean it and it just came out all of sudden.But he also couldn’t step back, so he just stayed quiet.

“Are you going to break up with me just because you are being a little kid?”

“Kid?” Type stared back at him.

“It’s not because I put you on a girl’s spot—I’m fucking loving you and you are acting like a kid—This is how you love someone! You want to stay close, you want to do something for them, you want to be intimate, you—“ He stopped himself as his voice got louder and shook his head before stepping back and rubbing his face. “Are you going to fucking break up with me just because of your ego?” He looked at Type.

“It’s..—it’s not my ego.” Type’s voice cracked in somewhere, he wasn’t yelling like before.

“Then what? What’s this about? Why aren’t you seeing me for days? Why aren’t you sleeping with me?”

“Cause I..—I’m..” Type tried, he wanted to keep saying the things he had in his mind but all of sudden all of them seemed so ridiculous.

“Don’t you like it when I hold you? Don’t you like it when I care about you---when we sleep together? When we—“

“I do!” Type suddenly screamed again, causing Tharn to stop and look at him with confusion. “I fucking do like it! I like it too much! That’s the problem!” He yelled angrily before turning his back at Tharn. “It makes me feel like a girl! I don’t want to like it! I don’t want everyone around us to give that look---like I’m your goddamn girlfriend! I don’t like to—“ He closed his eyes and sighed angrily when he felt Tharn’s arms around of his waist.

“Take it back.” Tharn said in a very low tone, his voice didn’t sound angry or disappointed like before, it was more like pleading and Type just exhaled, not moving or actually pushing the man away.

“Take it back.” Tharn repeated, resting his forehead on younger’s shoulder as he folded his hands right on Type’s belly, snuggling closer. “Say that you didn’t mean it.” He mumbled and Type realized he was talking about the break up word. “You can’t break up with me just because you like the way I love you Type, this is the most ridiculous break up reason ever.” He said softly as he rubbed his forehead on the boy’s shoulder but Type shook his head no before turning at him.He still had his angry expression when he faced with Tharn.

“You don’t understand cause you are the same---nothing changed for you.” He said, but Tharn could realize the change in his tone.It almost seemed like Type was about to keep yelling but he couldn’t do it after seeing the look in older’s eyes.

“It’s not—it’s not the same for me either, Type.” He grabbed the boy’s hands. “You are right about one thing, yes I was always together with the boy’s who liked to take the girl’s place in relationship—I can admit that most of them were actually too feminine—But I never treated you the same.” He looked at Type’s eyes and Type cursed himself for averting his gaze.He was trying to stay mad, curse and yell at him until he made Tharn walk away cause he knew he would give in if Tharn was around of him.That was why he actually tried to not see him lately.

“I don’t want you to be my girlfriend, I want you to be my man.” He tugged on the boy’s hands before pulling him closer. “Why do you care about others that much? If they would think that I’m your wife---I wouldn’t care at all.” He tilted his head, his tone was completely soft now cause he realized Type wasn’t actually angry at him, he was having some trouble on his own and it was actually cute.At first he felt disappointed but Type said he was angry cause he liked this, so it meant everything was okay.

“I honestly wouldn’t care if you treat me like I’m your wife, I can pay for that.” He teased with a little smile but his smile got bigger when Type glared at him and pulled his hands away.

“Stop joking, it’s serious.” He averted his gaze again, he didn’t say it loud but he really had a thing for the soft look in Tharn’s eyes and it was making his anger fly away.

“Is it really serious? Type.” He grabbed the boy’s arms again but Type’s angry face mostly seemed like a pouty face now, Tharn knew he didn’t know what to do again, cause Type was good at being angry and spitting things but he would look exactly like this during the times he got confused.

“It’s serious, stop touching me like—“ He stopped when Tharn pecked his lips out of nowhere.

“You said we would kiss every day.” Tharn said with his raised eyebrows when Type half-glared at him, but Tharn could actually see he wasn’t that angry.If Type was actually angry he would get punched in a heartbeat.That was why he also said it wasn’t the same for him too.He never thought of overdoing something and getting punched, getting his door kicked by his partner, or getting cursed in a very, very bad way.He always had the girly boys, their fights were not even like this since they mostly chose to cry or leave, nobody actually roared at his face like Type did.Tharn was also trying to adapt, he never felt like a man was accompanying him before, it was always cute boys he had to take care of; but Type was a man Tharn could rest his head on his shoulder.It was also new for him but he knew it was worse for Type, he never actually dated before and all of sudden he was getting treated like this.

“I’m serious, Type.” He looked at the younger, wrapping Type’s arms around of his back as Type watched him. “I never got punched by my partners before, you know.” He joked again but Type glared at him as the older hugged his waist to pull him even closer.

“You want it again?” Type glared at him but he didn’t pull his hands away from Tharn’s back, and it was a good signal, so Tharn kept going.

“What I’m trying to say is—“ he leaned his face closer to the less angry boy. “—I feel strong with you.” He said seriously and Type looked at him for a while.

“What does that mean?” He asked, not realizing his angry face was really gone.

“I would tell you to leave gender out of this to understand what I mean but…I won’t.” He said and Type seemed like he was actually listening, trying to understand what older was saying.But he was off guard when Tharn rubbed his cheek on younger’s before whispering.

“Cause I really see you as a man, Type.” He closed his eyes while saying that and sighed, rubbing his cheek on Type’s slowly and realizing that he actually missed being this close to him more than he thought.But he didn’t know Type’s eyes were also closed, he didn’t see the way younger gulped after feeling Tharn’s hand caressing his back like that.He was so close to give in and that was why he was trying to stay away, cause not getting attached to people was a thing, yes, Type already passed that part with admitting his feelings towards Tharn.But this was worse, he actually felt like giving in every time the guy touched him and that was why he got confused, feeling like he was treated like a woman.

“Do you remember the first time we slept together?” Tharn asked and Type opened his eyes, not actually moving as his face seemed confused.

“What does it have to do with this?” He asked at Tharn, who was still holding him close and resting his cheek against younger's.

“I told you that I liked the voice you made.” Tharn said and Type’s eyes wandered around the room, remembering the exact moment.

“Cause it was manly.” He said and Type blinked for a while, he really didn’t think Tharn said that because it was manly.In fact he thought he probably made a girly voice.

“It’s just because you are thinking too much.” Tharn kept talking against his cheek softly. “It doesn’t matter who is who, sometimes you are softer, sometimes me---who actually cares about that? I can get used to all of these as long as you are with me.” His hold around of Type’s waist got tighter as he yanked the boy, causing him to hit against Tharn’s body. “So take it back.” He repeated and Type realized Tharn was still thinking about that word.

“Type?” Tharn pulled his head back, looking at Type with worried eyes when younger didn’t respond.He got really scared as he watched Type standing there, but he was surprised when the boy leaned closer and pecked the corner of his lip.He did it again before Tharn could understand what happened.

“It’s been 3 days.” He said after pulling back and acting like he didn’t just kiss him in the cutest way possible. “—so it was 3 kisses.”

Tharn could only nod, pressing his lips together to stop his smile.It meant the boy took it back, Tharn already knew he didn’t mean it but still he didn’t like to hear it from Type.

“Don’t ever say it again or I will think that you mean it.” He said and Type just nodded while looking away. “And next time when you get confused about things, come to me first, okay?” He rubbed his thumb over Type’s cheek, feeling relieved again to have him close like that again but younger looked at him with his sulky face which wasn’t really close to an angry face.

“Yeah, you only think about fucking me when I come to you.” He rolled his eyes but Tharn chuckled.

“That’s a way to solve problems!”

“It’s not.”

“Yeah?” Tharn grinned before tilting his head. “Let me prove it then.” He said before rubbing his lips on younger’s plump ones and pecking his upper lip.He started to kiss him properly and feeling the way Type responded made him feel so much better than before.But they heard the loud thump and Techno yelled from downstairs that he was home, that was when Type placed his hands on Tharn’s chest and stopped him.

“It’s fine.” Tharn smiled when he saw the way Type looked at him, like he didn’t know what to say.He was still not comfortable with this, even knowing Techno was in the same house with them was making him feel bad and Tharn could understand him better now since he saw the way younger was struggling.

“Let’s go, Thorn is waiting for me anyway.I sneaked out saying I will buy—“ He was walking towards the door when Type suddenly grabbed his thumb.It caused Tharn’s face to get softer in the fastest way possible, he felt even damn softer after turning back and seeing the way Type was looking down, he was embarrassed to look at him directly.

“I take it back.” Type said all of sudden. “I didn’t mean it.” Tharn looked at him even though younger wasn’t looking back at him and nodded slowly.Even when they were yelling and dealing with their emotions, they were still able to read each other.Tharn knew Type didn’t mean it, Type knew that word hurt Tharn.

“I know.” He smiled softly before caressing younger’s fingers.He tugged on his hand gently before letting go, knowing he wouldn’t like to hold hands in front of Techno.

“Hey! I bought chicken nuggets and---oh—you came?” No was walking upstairs when Tharn got a call.

“P’San?” He answered as they all headed to kitchen. “It’s been a long time---oh—really?—I will be playing with my band tomorrow—yes—of course—“ he sat across Techno on the table as the other two started to open the bags and place the drinks and foods on the table.

“Who is that?” Type asked after he hung up.

“It’s a friend from my hometown, he said he came to see my brother and asked if he can stay over.” Tharn explained casually. “You guys are free tomorrow? We will try our new guitarist—you can drop by.” He casually put a plate in front of Type, not noticing it as he also handed him chopsticks.Type just told him that Tharn taking care of him like that made him feel like a girl but Tharn didn’t really notice it, he was doing it out of love and didn’t even realize it at all.

Type stared at the plate for a while, not saying anything as Techno and Tharn talked about the new guitarist.

He didn’t want to break up, he didn’t really mean it.But he was honest about the things he said, he wasn’t used to have someone like this beside him, someone else could get used to it easily but this was Type.He was comfortable around Tharn, but not on a level Tharn was comfortable with him.He never did the things Tharn did, it was always the older hugging him first, holding him first, saying sappy things, literally initiating everything.Type didn’t have a problem with it, but he started to feel disturbed after realizing he was actually liking it; liking the way Tharn was taking care of him.Then he kept watching others while Tharn was playing drums, seeing the way couples acted made him feel like he was the girl in this relationship, and it stabbed his pride.He tried to have some distance and think about it but Tharn stepped in again and he gave in, even when his pride was wounded or he didn’t want to be in a girl’s place, he still liked to have Tharn.Plus Tharn saying he was also getting used to it cause he never got together with someone like him helped too.He already realized Tharn liked the cute type but hearing about all that stuff made it very clear for him.He knew Tharn didn’t see him like a girl, but the problem was Type feeling like a girl,  
and it irritated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... me being in self-quarantine might mean more updates...  
> Stay safe fellas! <3


	11. A Scared Street Dog

Type was just standing there as Tharn kept talking to San.Type could see the amount of people who watched Tharn with a watery mouth since older seemed more handsome, like the way he dressed up and was glowing like a goddamn rock star made him open a now door in the definition of handsomeness.He was wearing a black shirt with white small flowers on it, of fucking course few buttons were open and Type didn’t actually like it, like he wasn’t drawing enough attention.He was wearing black ripped jeans and his hair wasn’t done neatly, it was messy and his bangs seemed fluffy.Type already noted that, after they leave he would find an excuse to touch his hair, he could find an excuse now too but Thorn, Jeed, Techno and San was there; so he chose to sit beside Tharn.Actually, Tharn’s whole body was turned at San as they kept chatting, Type was really quiet and he kept drinking.He was really well-behaved, even though he felt weird to not have Tharn’s arm casually wrapped around of his waist, he was fine.After all it was him who told Tharn that he wasn’t feeling well with the way older treated him, so he could see the way Tharn tried to keep his distance.

They were literally sitting like two bros.

Even their shoulders were not touching.

And it bugged Type.

It bugged him more after he realized that it actually _bugged him_ ; what the hell his mind was doing with whispering him he didn’t want to be treated like that and then making him want it?

“You were always a cute one.” San guy suddenly reached close and squeezed Tharn’s cheek.

Techno was wide-eyed, he got frozen on the spot but tried to not make it obvious as he eyed Type slowly.

Type was busy in his mind as always, but that move made him turn his head around and take a serious look at that San guy.He didn’t really mind him since he actually met a lot of friends of Tharn, older was obviously a social butterfly, he would introduce someone new every night so Type was already used to it.Plus he was still thinking about their fight, trying to understand what he really wanted.So seriously, he didn’t give any shits about that guy.

“I always wished I could have another chance with you.” He suddenly said, just like that, like it was such a casual thing and Techno choked on his drink. “You are really lucky, you know.” He smiled at Type, but Type wasn’t a boy who could buy that, he could see what that smile actually meant.

“It was a long time ago, P’San.” Tharn brushed it off and Type realized he extended his arm to him, it seemed like an instinct but he quickly realized what he was doing and held the back of Type’s chair instead of his waist.

Well, fuck this timing, right now he actually wanted Tharn to pull that move but of course him being a goddamn perfect guy didn’t do that.

He just sat there quietly, he really didn’t do anything or talk at all.They were listening Thorn’s and San’s stories about Tharn’s childhood and Jeed was actually laughing along, while Techno was watching his friend.Cause he knew Type wasn’t okay, his face seemed still, he seemed unbothered cause this was Type, if he was bothered he would make sure that everyone in the room got bothered too.But he was just drinking as San kept resting his hand on Tharn’s shoulder, sometimes touching his cheek, his arm on the table.

Techno knew this wasn’t going to end well and he bit his lip when Thorn walked away from the table, getting out for a phone call.It was coming.

“Your hair got longer.”

When his fingertips brushed against Tharn’s curls, it ended everything for Type.

“Are you going to stop touching him or do I have to smash this bottle in your head?” He suddenly said with a very steady tone, moving his fingers around of the bottle between them.Jeed was the one who panicked first.

“Let’s stay calm—it’s just—“

“Sorry.” San smiled, Type didn’t even actually look at Tharn to see his reaction since his eyes were set on San guy.He could see he was doing it on purpose, he was actually trying to get on his nerves.

“You didn’t say anything and I thought you were comfortable.” He looked back at Type. “I just thought you guys were like…you know..play dates.”

“P!” Jeed quickly hit him with her elbow, knowing he literally called them fuckbuddies.

“What? I’m sorry—I just know Tharn and the way he gets touchy with his boyfriends—I got the wrong idea, sorry.” He said the last part to Type, but Type knew that shit wasn’t sorry at all.

“It’s fine.” Type was about to talk but Tharn was faster and Type looked at him when the guy held his hand which was gripping on the bottle. “And I think you shouldn’t touch me P’San, Type is really a person who can smash it in your head.” He said, adding a smile and trying to lighten the mood but Type was still glaring at the annoyingly tall and handsome guy as Tharn caressed his hand gently.

“He seems like one.” San said.

“What the hell does that mean?” Type spit angrily, he wasn’t holding it back anymore and it made Techno gulp.

“Type.” Tharn said as he tugged on his hand and earned an aggressive ‘what?’ from his boyfriend but thankfully Thorn returned and started to talk about some other thing.

“Fucking asshole!” Type cursed while glaring at the mirror, he came to restroom after realizing that San was actually fucking attractive and so damn whipped for Tharn.He didn’t pay attention to their chat until the guy started to make moves on Tharn, so it took him some time to understand San was actually dying to have Tharn.

“You were always a cute one.” He mimicked the guy angrily after washing his hands, feeling too irritated since Tharn was seeming extremely fucking delicious tonight and Type actually chose yesterday to talk about his feelings.

How great.

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me?” Type said, closing his eyes and sighing.He was about to walk out when San was coming in and the older literally bumped his shoulder, making him stop.

“Look, I’m doing you a favor here.” He said and Type glared at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He hissed, not really hiding his disgusted and angry face anymore.He was trying to keep it cool since Thorn was there and they were not really the greatest friends, but this guy was pushing his chance.

“Tharn was always sweet.” San said with a different expression than he had in the table and leaned closer to him. “I can see that he took an abandoned puppy, but he will get bored of it soon.” He said in a low tone, with a smile Type wanted to erase from his face with his punch.

“What? Do you think I will get offended by this?” Type chuckled evilly, well, if this damn prince guy thought Type was a scared cat like others, he was hella wrong.

“You are not on his level, you are obviously a street dog.” Him saying that caused Type’s eyes burn with anger. “It’s not fair, I agree—But it is what it is.” He smiled at Type and patted on his shoulder. “He will get rid of you soon.” He added and Type licked his lips, smiling back at him before wiping his shoulder with his hand.

“He wasn’t saying that last night though—oh..wait, his mouth was full.” He gave him a fake ass smile, patting on his shoulder just like the way he did to him. “I think your marriage age is on the door, I would stop dreaming and find someone you know…It’s not fair, but it is what it is.” He said before walking out, but the moment he left his face clearly changed.He was acting smug in front of the guy but inside he was boiling.This was the first time someone actually made it this clear, everybody already wanted Tharn, even the way others listened and watched him while playing was enough to see that.A lot of people could try their chance if Type’s huge ass wasn’t sitting beside him all the time and having Tharn caressing his back, getting him drinks or looking at him while playing.Type was already used to it, but this guy really made it clear that he was so ready to get Tharn in case Type would slip.

“I already said yes Type—“

“Oh you did?!” Type yelled at his face, it was 2 a.m. and others were still inside as the two were arguing beside Tharn’s car. “Well, is it completely okay to stay in the same house with your ex who was topping you?! When were you gonna tell me?!” He snapped and Tharn sighed, rubbing his temples.

“I see him as a brother Type, I was just a kid and—“

“But he wasn’t!” Type gave him a death glare. “Don’t you see the way he is looking at you?”

“He is just messing around.” Tharn said but Type shook his head no.

“You are not staying together with him, tell him to fuck off and find himself a hotel.”

“Type.” He grabbed the boy’s arms. “We stayed in the same place, even shared a bed after that—he already knows I’m not interested in him.”

“I don’t care!” Type pushed his hands away. “I don’t want you to stay in the same place with him!” He repeated angrily and kept frowning when Tharn smiled softly.

“There is no need to be jealous—I was a kid, I realized it wasn’t my thing and ended it immediately.” He explained, grabbing Type’s arms again and getting closer. “Can you—“

But Type pushed his hands away, again.

“Are you going to let him stay?” He looked at Tharn.

“What do you want me to do? He is my friend and Thorn’s best friend, I can’t tell him to go to a hotel, Type.” He tried but sighed when Type started to walk away.

“Type!”

“Fuck you!” Type screamed before getting out of his sight and Tharn just rubbed his forehead.

“I’m a street dog---so what? Who do you think you are?” Type was still talking to himself angrily as he walked inside their apartment.He was already aware of that, he saw Tharn’s house, the way he grew up, he wasn’t an idiot.The guy was good at singing, almost able to play every instrument, was the best student during school years, has a great family with a damn good bank account.

“Son of a bitch!” He slammed his shirt on the bed so hard after taking it out.He was so angry, too fucking angry to keep living; he needed to do something to let it out, cut something to pieces or beat someone to death, he was that angry.

“Can’t we have—one peaceful night?” No opened the door all of sudden and Type remembered he left early because of Champ’s call.

“The fuck you doing here? Didn’t you go to Champ?”

“Nah, I lied.” He said casually, sitting on Type’s bad as the taller guy stood there shirtless, and fuming. “It was so stressful, I can’t handle stress.”

Type just rolled his eyes, finding himself a new shirt and literally tossing others away, causing Techno to sigh.

“What’s with you two? He didn’t touch you all night.” No said out of nowhere and Type looked at him.

“Did you notice it?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” No grimaced. “Of course I did, P’Jeed did, P’Thorn did, I’m sure even the guitarist noticed it.”

Type kicked his leg and caused him to whine, quickly pulling them up and crossing his legs on the boy’s bed.

“I’m serious! Everybody knows that you guys are so lovey-dovey! He didn’t even touch you at all when you threatened the damn huge guy.What’s wrong?”

“Fucking cunt!” Type kicked the bed angrily and No closed his eyes, waiting for other to hit few more places while cursing; he kicked the bed for few times, then threw his jeans away in a very, very aggressive manner. “That fucking cunt has his eyes on Tharn!---And he is not getting close to me because yesterday I told him that he is making me feel like a girl with the way he treats me!” He looked at Techno when the other didn’t respond.

“What the fuck?!” He opened his eyes, looking at No with confused eyes.Cause the boy just stood up and headed to the door.

“I’m sorry, I have no words to waste with an idiot.” He said before walking downstairs.

“Fine! I don’t wanna hear your words anymore! You give shitty advices!” Type screamed angrily, started to draw circles in the room. “The hell everyone is taking his side—He was clearly flirting with him in front of me! What am I supposed to do?! Goddamn piece of shit told me that he will get rid of me and—“ he was getting more and more angry by talking to himself but he suddenly stopped, went downstairs in a heartbeat.

“The fuck you meant?! Why am I stupid?” He kept yelling after finding his friend sitting on the couch and turning on the TV.

“I meant you are so damn stupid to think that.” Techno said calmly, this was Type’s normal behavior anyway, he was used to it.

“To think that he was flirting--? Didn’t you see him?! Don’t you have eyes?! Are you fucking blind?!” He stood right in front of the TV, blocking it as he kept yelling angrily.

“Not that.” Techno sighed. “To think that he is treating you like a girl.” He glared at his friend.

“Oh no---no fucking way—don’t you dare to lecture me about this!” Type turned his back at No, shaking his head and ruffling his hair while trying to feel calmer but he kept feeling worse every second. “You don’t know how it feels!” he turned at him again. “He is acting like—“

“He is acting like you are the most precious thing in the room.” Techno said with a calm tone and Type blinked, he wasn’t expecting that.

“It’s not the—“

“Shut up, Type—you know what, I’m sick of your attitude.” He suddenly stood up and Type was surprised since No never acted like that when he was angry. “You are right, I don’t know how it feels cause I never had someone who looked at me like that.” He took a step closer to look at his friend in the eyes, showing that he was being completely honest. “Is it that hard to let yourself?” He asked all of sudden, looked at Type like he knew what was actually happening inside his head. “If you want to get hold by someone, nobody cares Type.If you want to be kissed, if you want to be hugged---nobody cares if you want to be loved.Can’t you see?” He opened his arms, pointing at himself. “At the end of the day we are all alone.” He paused a little, Type was just standing there since this wasn’t what he expected. “I saw you, man.” He tilted his head, his eyes getting softer as he looked at Type. “I saw you that day—you were sleeping on his shoulder.” Type’s eyes changed with that. “I’m stuck with you for years and I never saw you sleeping somewhere, never Type.” He raised his eyebrows, he didn’t need to say more cause they both knew he was telling the truth.Type always had sleeping problems, Techno could never come home and find him sleeping on the couch, or take a nap anywhere.He hardly even slept at nights, they both knew.That was why his sleeping schedule got worse every time his past haunted him.

“Just surrender, man.” Techno said. “This is not about Tharn, this is about you.” He looked at Type, knowing the way his friend’s mind worked. “Surrender, or leave him.”

Type got surprised with that and Techno nodded after seeing his expression. “Yes, leave him—the fuck, Type? He’s not looking for a flirt, he wants to settle down—he wants something permanent.If you are gonna keep being a pussy, just leave him alone.He doesn’t deserve this.” He said before giving him a last look and walking upstairs again, leaving him dumbfounded friend standing in the middle of their living room like a ghost.

“God damn it—Damn it!” He kept cursing under his breath before storming out.Techno was the one who always told him the things he needed to hear, and it worked again, Type already knew his friend was completely right.But right now he was still so angry, knowing that huge and fucking attractive guy was gonna sleep in the same place with Tharn was making him so furious.

Techno really knew everything about Type, even the way his mind worked.

But he didn’t know one thing; cause it was brand new, even Type was exploring it just now.

The possession.

“Type? What are you doing here?” Tharn got surprised after opening the door cause really, Type left him with a familiar face, that face of Type meant Tharn had to try every way to make up with him and it would take a lot of time.He wasn’t really expecting younger to answer his calls or texts but he was standing in front of his door.

“What? Do I have to ask before coming to my boyfriend’s house?” He said angrily, with his furrowed eyebrows, seeming really, really on edge.

“Of course not…--Come in.” Tharn said after blinking for few times, not really knowing what happened. “My brother and P’San is in the kitchen and—“

“Move.” Type suddenly pushed him to the exact opposite direction he was going.

“What?—What’s happening, Type?” Tharn was really confused, he didn’t get what was happening but still let the younger drag him into his own bedroom and close the door.

He kept staring at younger questioningly as Type took of his jacket, clothes and socks like everything was fine.He was grabbing the ones he always borrowed when he stayed there, Tharn’s grey sweatpants and light blue tank top.

“Type?—What’s happening?” Tharn watched him getting changed, he was calculating in the back of his mind but this was something unexpected and he didn’t even know why Type was there.

“Type—“

“I need to sleep! Okay?!” Type suddenly said, a little bit higher than he planned as he put his head down and rubbed his temples, too harshly. “I couldn’t fucking sleep cause it’s been 3 days and—it’s all your fucking fault!” He suddenly looked at Tharn, who was more than surprised. “I was okay! I wasn’t doing perfect but I was fucking okay—then you appeared with your fucking stupid smile and made me feel weird---now I can’t even fucking sleep cause I want you with me, asshole!” He looked at the bewildered guy and aimed his index finger at him.He was actually saying sweet things but his tone and eyes were completely opposite of it. “Plus, I’m not fucking letting that scumbag flirt with you.I’m staying here until he fucking goes away.” He took a step closer and grabbed Tharn’s shirt. “Even if I’m not so good at this shit—even if I keep messing things up—I’m still not letting you go, you are my fucking _book_ , do you understand?” He said in a lower tone but his voice seemed even scarier now, this was literally a confession since Tharn still remembered the story about the book Type found in the orphanage, but the boy was making it sound like he was threatening Tharn.

“Now do whatever the fuck you want.” He pushed him before letting his collar. “I’m gonna sleep.Fucking asshole—making me come all this fucking way.” He mumbled to himself as he walked towards Tharn’s bed, his cursing would always go worse if he was flustered.He got himself under the covers and just closed his eyes, his eyebrows were still furrowed as he sighed angrily, still trying to calm down since he was fuming for hours because of that San guy.

Techno couldn’t see that cause it was new, it was an emotion Type didn’t know it’s existence before since he never actually possessed something.Tharn was the first person he opened up, he was the first person who made Type feel like himself, not the one he was showing to everyone; Tharn was the first person who made him so scared like this, cause Type was a fucking douchebag, did he even stand a chance against to San? He didn’t even had a normal job and the guy was wearing all those expensive clothes, looking really good and treating Tharn so much better than him while he wasn’t even letting the damn man touch him for days.

He heard the voice of it when Tharn turned off the lights after a while.It didn’t take long for older to get under the covers like him.

“Type.” He called his name in the softest tone ever, but Type didn’t open his eyes.He was still furious, that guy really had nerves to show up like that and tell those things to him.Type was fucking fuming and the only reason why he wasn’t walking out to find him in the kitchen and punch him until he gets satisfied was Thorn, he fucked up already.For the first time in his life he wanted someone to like him, Thorn needed to like him.Everyone thought Type was being a kid, spoiled, pussy or anything; but no, he wasn’t.He was feeling only one thing, it wasn’t that complicated.

He was just scared.

He still didn’t move or opened his eyes when he felt Tharn’s thumb between his eyebrows.Older gently caressed the wrinkles away and Type didn’t actually resist.After a few minutes of silence, Tharn’s hand traveled down to younger’s cheek.

“I love you too.” He said while caressing Type’s cheek and Type opened his eyes, his angry face seeming more like a really adorable pout now.

“I never said I love you, asshole.” He glared at him, more like tried to glare as usual but it made Tharn chuckle and slid closer since it seemed cute.

“You did.” He smiled. “---not with your mouth, you don’t have to say it loud.” He looked at younger, Type hated it since he could see how honest and gentle Tharn was. “I can hear it, and that’s all that matters.” He said while his thumb was rubbing circles around of the corner of Type’s lips.They were both looking at each other until Type closed his eyes again, not saying anything in return.

He positioned himself under Tharn’s chin, hugging him closer before talking. “You are a fucking asshole and I hate you.” He leaned his cheek on Tharn’s chest, eyes tightly closed as he furrowed his eyebrows without knowing again.

“Mm.” Tharn mumbled and Type felt like he was able to breathe again when older’s fingers caressed around his scalp. “I love you too.” Tharn repeated before pressing a kiss on somewhere between his hair.

Type didn’t say anything else, he just snuggled closer.

He made his mind;  
he was gonna surrender.


	12. Dark Valley

"Get up, Tharn! Breakfast is ready and-" San walked into the room, not even bothering to knock on the door. "I'm sorry-I didn't know he was here." His expression completely changed together with his cheery tone.Cause from the place he was standing, he was facing with Type's face which was frowning at the moment, Tharn's arm was wrapped around of him from behind and they were sleeping in an intimate position.

"It's okay P'-What time is it?" Tharn asked sleepily, pulling his arm away and grabbing his phone from the commode.

Type glared at the guy after finally opening his eyes, he was obviously disturbed and he didn't have any intention about hiding it.So he just turned his back at the guy with his furrowed eyebrows and faced Tharn instead.

"I will be..waiting." He said weirdly before he closed the door and Type felt satisfied, he seemed like he didn't expect Type to be there.But his little smirk disappeared when he looked at Tharn.

"The hell is he walking into your room for? I thought I was the lowlife, but I know how to knock." He said with his angry face.

"You never knock."

"Of course, I don't." He glared at him harder. "I'm giving you my fucking ass and I'm gonna knock? You should knock." He rolled his eyes before turning around again but Tharn quickly hugged him from behind.

"I want something else too." He said against to his nape and Type could feel his annoying smile.

"The fuck is it?" He asked in an annoyed tone but didn't push the older away.

"You don't know it?" Tharn teased as he was placing feathery kisses on his nape and Type was about to yell again, but he got confused when the guy touched his chest through the t-shirt he was wearing. "This." He tapped right on his heart and Type stopped for a second but he quickly got himself together and turned around.

"Why are you being so cheesy early in the morning?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed as always.

"Why are you being so grumpy early in the morning?" Tharn asked back with a smile as he touched between his eyebrows but Type grimaced.

"Don't piss me off." He slapped Tharn's hand away. "Is he gonna walk into your room like that?"

"It doesn't matter." Tharn said and Type was about to throw hands. "Cause you are here." But he didn't. "You said you are gonna stay until he goes, so it's okay, yeah?" Tharn said with a full smile as he brushed Type's hair back and younger averted his gaze before pouting slightly.Actually he wasn't aware of that but his lips tend to get into the pouty position a lot when he was with Tharn.Older didn't say it loud on purpose, knowing Type would stop himself if he knew.

"But still you don't have to stay." Tharn's playful grin disappeared as he looked at the younger softly. "I can't look at anyone else, someone got me hooked up already." He smiled cutely but his eyebrows got lifted with surprise when Type leaned close to him all of sudden.He was expecting a glare but he accepted the kiss younger offered out of nowhere, his eyes were closed and Type's hand was cupping his cheek when the kiss turned into a passionate one.He let out a low whimper and opened his eyes when Type bit his lip, really, really hard.

"You better don't look at someone else." Type said, Tharn was grimacing because of the sudden pain but younger was still cupping his cheeks in a forceful way.

"I have a gun." Type smiled, patting on Tharn's cheek before getting up.

Tharn watched him going to bathroom and actually stayed like that before letting out a chuckle and laying on bed with a grin.  
He knew Type wasn't joking.  
  


**_-_ **   
  


"You still like your eggs like this, right?" San asked as he placed a plate in front of Tharn and Type glared at him.He was still wearing Tharn's clothes and honestly he didn't seem so intimidating with his fluffy curls, early morning face and Tharn's clothes.But his looks were the same, especially the ones he threw at San's side.

"Ah-yes, thank you P!" Tharn said with a smile. "It had been a while."

San just smiled before ruffling Tharn's hair and Type rolled his eyes, he knew the guy was doing it on purpose cause he was directly looking at his side while doing that.The damn San guy was picking a play, he probably noticed the way Type acted when Thorn was around, so he was pushing it.

Type looked at the omelette Tharn seemed to like that much, he saw the ham and cheese, it seemed like it was his favorite since the smile on his face was pretty loud.

It annoyed Type.

"Here you go." San had a proud smile on his face as he offered Type a mug after giving everyone their coffees, he was obviously acting completely kind to him.

Type wanted to punch his face.

"I don't-"

"Oh-he doesn't like it, P." Tharn said before him and grabbed the mug. "I completely forgot-Do you remember the small shop we stopped by to buy some drinks?" He asked, Type watched him getting up and walking back to the shelves. "I found the black tea you liked." He said with a smile, shaking the package proudly after finding it.

"They have it there?" Type asked in a surprised tone as the guy grabbed another cup for him and prepared his tea.

"They do-I bought 3 boxes." He said, coming back to the table and putting the cup in front of younger as he sat beside him again.

"It's not like I live here."

"If you want to drink your favorite tea, you need to come often." Tharn said with a grin and Type just looked away, not responding since his response would contain swearing and he didn't want to look like an asshole in front of Thorn.Especially when that San guy was being the most caring and kind opponent ever.

"Do you prefer tea?" Thorn asked and Type nodded as they all were eating.

"You seem like the coffee type, though." San commented.

"He is not really like what he seems." Tharn said with a goofy smile after eating another piece. "He loves chocolate covered dragee, milky sweets and-off!" He whined when Type pressed on his feet really hard under the table. "He is cute, isn't he?" Tharn asked, his painful expression was still there but he was also grinning.

"I will leave after an hour." Type said, quickly changing the topic since he wasn't able to punch Tharn in front of his not-so-Type-supporter brother. "Don't you have practice?" He asked.

"I do." Tharn nodded. "I will drop you off." He said and Type just nodded.

"So...you guys are really a thing?" San asked after a while and Type lifted his head to look at him.

"We are just two brothers who shares the same bed." He said while glaring at him. "What do you think, P'?" The corner of his lips curved into a small smile.He emphasized the P' word since he wanted San to see Type wasn't an idiot, the guy was obviously trying to provoke him in front of Thorn but Type saw worse shits than that.

"I'm sorry." San chuckled and shook his head. "It's just so awkward to see him together with someone like you." San bit back with a smile.

"P'San, it's-" Tharn tried but Type stopped him.

"He is right." He said. "I'm not like any of those boys he met." He said with full confident, not backing off.

"I liked Tar, though." San continued as he kept eating. "He was such a cute boy with good manners."

"Oh, really?" Type quickly answered, Tharn and his brother was just watching them nervously. "You can actually try your chance, he is single right now." Type said and Tharn pressed his lips together to not smile.

San stared back at him for few seconds, they were really reading each other from their eyes and knowing what they actually meant.

"No no, it's fine." He put his gentle smile back. "I have feelings for someone else." He said, Type knowing who that person was.

"Good luck then P'." He said after chewing his food and grabbing his cup. "You might need a lot of luck." He mumbled, sipping his tea with an unbothered expression but inside, he was 5 seconds away from throwing that cup right at his face.He got rid of those thoughts when he felt Tharn's hand on his thigh.

"How is it?" He asked and it took Type few seconds to got what he meant.He didn't even realize but he was just taking the first sip from the tea and Tharn really caught it even during that silent fight between them.

"It's good." He said, earning a warm smile from older before he pulled his hand away and kept eating.Tharn didn't see it but sometimes the little things he did, just like this one, was getting Type speechless cause he wasn't expecting it.It messed with his mind, not letting him get pissed off because of San but actually spreading a warm and honey-like feeling inside his body.

He had to control himself until he got separated from Tharn.After that he allowed himself to smile really wide, remembering the way Tharn asked if he liked the tea.

It was such a simple gesture and little thing in others life, but for Type, having someone who stocked few boxes of his favorite tea was the biggest thing ever.Cause even he himself, didn't pay that much attention to himself.

But Tharn did.

_Damn._

He licked his lips while walking on the street, trying to stop smiling at the thought.  
  
  


__

_**-** _

Tonight it didn't take him long to get the money and met up with the guy he was supposed to hand it.When Type first started this, it was all about beating people up and because of growing up on the streets, he was damn good at it.Even when he was a kid he was taller and stronger than others, after some time it was so easy for him to scare them off.So when someone asked him if he could get money from someone, it was easy peasy.The boy wasn't giving the money he took and the owner of the money wasn't someone who could run after him.It took less than 15 minutes for him to make the guy hand the whole debt.

It kept going like that.

It wasn't always money, when Champ wanted to scare few people off or learn something, they would also go for it.He usually didn't dug it deep, cause he knew if he would try to learn more about what he was doing, he would end up with hating himself.But he left school way too early, he left the orphanage way too early, he started to see the wicked side of the world, way too early.During those times he had no choice, and he still didn't have choice, there was nothing he could do, he didn't study, he wasn't good with people, his only ability was scaring people off and creating chaos.So he kept staying in this thing, not digging deeper but getting enough money to fill his stomach.

He didn't plan to live a good life anyway.His mind was set on overcoming the day, having a place to sleep and being able to buy food enough to keep him living.He was that simple, he didn't see any problem with that.

But when he stood in front of a glass case of a shop, he felt something different for the first time.Something he wasn't used to feel.

He stared at the clothes for a while and actually stepped in.

It wasn't like he didn't shop before, of course he bought clothes for himself.But not from somewhere like this one.

This shop mostly had modern stuff while Type was used to buy clothes as he kept passing by street sellers and seeing things that he could wear for a long time.He didn't have that much money, even if he had it he wasn't a person to see every shop and buy things anyway.Simple jeans and t-shirts were enough for him, he didn't even had too many clothes.But it didn't bug him before.

Now, it did.

That was why he left that shop with few bags.

"Are you going to the bar? I have a goddamn flu---I feel so bad! I love Tharn's band!" No whined before wiping his nose, he was laying on the couch with an old blanket around of him and a lot of tissues.

"I told you to wear your goddamn jacket, No.You deserve it." Type said while walking down.

"Thank you, my dear friend." No whined with a pout. "But still-" He stopped and started to blink faster when he saw Type.

"Type..."

"What?" Type opened his arms. "Does it look ugly? This thing is so fucking tight." He whined, meaning his jeans as he furrowed his eyebrows and tried to pull it down.

"Dude..-What's gotten into you?"

"Shut the fuck up." Type glared at him. "It's too much right? I'm going to change."

"No---Type! No!" His friend yelled when Type was about to go back to his room. "It looks really good---it fits you." He said but Type eyed him suspiciously. "I swear." He quickly said. "But why..-"

"I just wanted to make a difference." Type said, obviously lying.But No didn't push it further, knowing his friend would change his clothes and burn them if Techno would tease him about it.

"Hmm-have fun." He said with a grin, quickly laying down again to not let Type see his expression. "I guess you made your hair like that for a change too." He mumbled.

"What?"

"Say hey to Tharn from me and don't jump on the San guy." Techno said.

"I can't promise that." Type answered before leaving.

He was actually feeling strange in those clothes.His jeans were too tight for his own like, not like the baggy ones he used to wear.He was wearing a light blue ripped jean which seemed really good on him since he had some nice legs, but he wasn't really aware of it since he never gave attention to it.After what happened in the orphanage, he stopped looking at himself like that, he didn't want to feel handsome, pretty, good looking or anything.He spent long time on hating himself and not giving a glance at his body, so he wasn't really aware of how good he looked at the moment.

 _"You are so fucked up, man."_ Techno texted Tharn with a grin, right before sneezing hard.

 _"What did I do again? Is he whining about me?"_ Tharn texted back.

 _"You have the body of a bear and you are scared of my friend?"_ Techno smirked. _"It's worse, dude.I'm going to pray for you."_ He kept teasing, wiggling his legs and getting comfortable on the couch.

 _"What do you mean?"_ Tharn asked, having no idea what was going to happen.

 _"Good luck, it's gonna be a long night for you."_ Techno texted.

"Damn it, I'm going to miss him having a boner and trying to hide it." He mumbled to himself before sneezing again and pouting, it would be really fun.  
  
  


_**-** _

Actually Type wasn't wearing too flashy clothes, streets were filled with teenagers who wore this stuff for a normal day.But of course Techno got surprised since it wasn't his style and he never saw him wearing things like that.His jeans being too tight and revealing his nice shaped legs with his perky ass was one thing, his new black T-shirt which was covering his torso perfectly was another thing.Type used to wear comfortable stuff, baggy and larger clothes.But the T-shirt he was wearing wrapped his chest tight enough to show his real body shape, which was really fit.

He wore the white shirt he bought over the T-shirt, it had few thick black lines around of the arm and since he didn't buy it from a street seller and was able to buy something in his size, it covered his arms and shoulders, revealing the actual size of his forearms and shoulder blade.

He was holding his brand new jacket in his hand, which was dark brown and a style that he wasn't used to.

Basically everything on him was completely new, even the white sneakers.

He bought a perfume too but nobody was going to know it, not even Techno.He used to have a deodorant instead of perfume, but he wanted to give it a try since the asshole named as Tharn liked to spent a good amount of time in the crook of his neck.

He even styled his hair different, letting his bangs stay messy on his forehead instead of brushing it back.It made him look kinda boyish, but his body was saying the otherwise.

Simply, he seemed like a goddamn snack.

He tried to act completely cool when he stepped inside the bar.He was feeling a bit strange and not sure about his outfit at all.But he put his usual face and got in, acting like it was the style he always pulled off.It wasn't like he wasn't feeling good about himself, he just wanted to show that San guy that he could do it in his way.He wasn't gonna let him sit there like a rich ass daddy and annoy him.

No way.

"Oh my god---Who is this?!" Jeed yelled with a chuckle. "Let me look at you-" She grabbed his shoulders. "-Turn around-" after forcing him to turn around of himself she showed a bright smile. "You know what-" Her smile turned into an evil grin before she leaned closer. "-I see what you are doing and I support you." She patted on his shoulder and Type just chuckled.

"Your boyfriend is at the back, they are getting ready for the stage.Your brother-in-law is there-" She pointed at the table and Type saw Thorn laughing along with San.

Asshole.

"It's really full today, P'Jeed." He said, sitting across the bar instead of going to their side since he knew they both didn't want him anyway.

"It is! Tharn's band is doing such a great job!" She said happily, the place was really packed and they were obviously waiting for the band. "They are great at making music and they are handsome, it makes money!"

Type smiled at her cheery tone.After a while she left to help her husband since it was really crowded and everyone wanted a lot of drinks.Type was drinking his beer when Tharn finally appeared on the stage.He actually enjoyed the way Tharn's eyes scanned the area, the drummer smiled at his brother first but after not seeing Type with them he started to look around.Type smiled slightly but quickly erased it from his face before putting his hand in the air to make Tharn see him.

But Tharn being the opposite side of him, quickly smiled at the moment he spotted Type.

Only the stage was bright and it was really dark in the club, so he didn't notice the whole ass change on his boyfriend's outfit.

Type enjoyed it even more when he saw San following Tharn's stare during his performance and spotting Type.He smirked before looking away and grabbing his beer.

Serves him right.

Tharn's eyes kept finding him every now and then, Type was watching but he wasn't returning his bright smiles all the way he kept muttering the song while looking at him from distance.He had few light smiles but he pulled himself together every time, not wanting to get all soft.He tried to keep the control.

"Hey."

He raised his eyebrow when a guy suddenly sat beside him and blocked his way to see Tharn.

"Do you know who are they?"

"What?" Type furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding since it was pretty loud.

"Do you know who are they?" He leaned closer as he pointed at the stage. "They are pretty good."

"It's a new band." Type answered.

"Oh-" The guy nodded. "-I liked the guitarist." He said before drinking his beer.

"Really? I prefer the drummer." He said with a smirk, knowing damn well Tharn was the hottest one in that band.

"What?" The guy asked this time, not hearing it.

"Nothing." Type just shook his hand.They chatted for some time and he looked around to see Tharn when he heard their song ended.

"I actually wanted to ask..---this is my friend." The guy introduced some other guy who seemed kind of bigger than Type, and obviously older. "Actually we were looking for someone else to join us...you know..."

The guy said and Type's lips parted away, an 'o' shape appearing as he realized what they meant.

"What the hell-" Tharn suddenly appeared with his furrowed eyebrows, coming behind of the second guy with a very, very disturbed face. "Are you that shameless? Walking around and looking for sex partners?" He asked and honestly Type just looked at him, he never heard Tharn talking in that tone.Yes the guy yelled back at him, got angry and annoyed under some conditions, he was a human too.But this tone, Type was so sure that he never heard it.

He was too pissed off.

Not holding it back.

"I actually like him better." The second guy pointed at Tharn, not really caring about the attitude since he was really drunk.

"Calm down dude, we were just asking." Other one said and Type felt his body having goosebumps when he felt Tharn's hand around of his waist.Tharn always held his waist, he always had his hands around of Type and he wasn't even noticing it most of the time when older played with his belly, it was that normal.But this time he actually gripped on his skin.

Tharn acting aggressive was a weird thing yes, but Type's body reacting to it in a good way was even weirder.

"I don't like to share, so get lost and try your chance with someone else."

Type's eyes got bigger when he told them to get lost, Tharn never ever talked in that tone with that face.He was so ready to throw hands and was talking like he actually wanted others to start a fight.

"What is he saying?" The drunk one asked the other with a stupid smile on his face and thankfully his friend was sober enough to take him away before a fight occurred.

"Did you just..tell them to get lost?" Type asked with his surprised face, pointing at the two who were walking away.

"You didn't watch me."

"I was...--what.." Type looked at him with his confused face when Tharn just walked away. "Hey---Tharn!..-you asshole." He glared at his back when Tharn went to his brother's table instead.

"He really--left me like this--the fuck?" He told himself angrily, but then gulped and tried to get himself together since he felt weird after the hard grip Tharn had on him.

"If you think that I'm fucking gonna follow you---you are wrong." He mumbled to himself while glaring at Tharn, who was not looking at him but obviously pouting and talking to other two.

"Damn it!" He hit his beer on the bar after few minutes and stood up.

"What's happening?" San looked at him surprisedly when younger approached and grabbed Tharn's arm.

"We need to talk about something---get up, Tharn." He tried to control his tone, not wanting to trigger Thorn.

"I don't want to talk." Tharn quickly rejected, his pout was on a whole new level when Type sighed angrily and closed his eyes to get calm, not wanting to punch his brother in front of San again.

"I said, get up." He said in a very threatening tone after leaning close to his ear, not letting Thorn hear his tone.

Tharn looked at him for a second and then stood up, his face not changing as he followed younger to the restroom.

"What the fuck Tharn?! Why the hell did you leave me like that?! Are you fucking--" He was yelling, his usual tone was back since Thorn was not around but he furrowed his eyebrows harder when Tharn looked at him with his annoyingly pure fucking eyes.

"Don't you like me anymore?"

"What?!" Type took a step back.

"Don't you like me anymore?" Tharn repeated. "It's a simple question."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Type didn't expect this, he was really pissed off but Tharn wasn't responding him angrily like he did to those guys.

He actually seemed hurt.

Type was even more surprised when Tharn turned his back at him, younger watched him through the mirror as the drummer washed his face, running his fingers between his hair and brushing it back.

"Ai'Tharn! Why the fuck are you acting like this?" He grabbed his arm, making him look at him again. "Ai'Tharn!" He got more angry when Tharn kept looking down instead of him and grabbed his collar. "Stop being stupid and tell me why--" he got startled when Tharn held his wrist, more like gripped his skin tightly.

"I like you, I like you so fucking much and you can see it in my eyes, right?!" He used an aggressive tone Type wasn't used to hear from him and younger was really surprised at the way Tharn was squeezing his wrist.

"What are you doing--" He got startled when Tharn yanked him closer to himself by pulling his wrist harder.

"I know that you never say it--I know it!" Tharn seemed like he was talking to himself but Type was actually watching him with his big and confused eyes since older never acted like this with him before. "But if you still like me--why aren't you letting me touch you?" Tharn looked into his eyes with his furious ones. "Why are you getting dressed up like this when you don't let me touch you? What's the point of getting jealous over P'San if you don't even want me!"

"Tharn!" Type tried, hitting older's chest with the hand Tharn was holding too tight against it.But Tharn was too caught up in the moment.

"Those guys were trying to lure you for a goddamn threesome, Type!" He yelled angrily. "Why did you let him flirt with you?!"

Type froze on his spot with that.

The confused and angry look he had completely changed into a new one.

 _'Why did you let him?'_ He remembered the sentence he heard from everyone, _why did you let him do that to you, Type?_

"Let me go." Type averted his gaze, trying to pull his hand away.

"No, I'm not done yet!" Tharn kept his angry tone, he didn't seem like he noticed the way younger's behavior changed.

"It was my fault, you are right." Type suddenly said after gulping and looking at Tharn.He didn't seem like he was challenging him. "I did let him flirt with me cause I'm a desperate slut for cock, is that it?" He said those words in a calm tone, which was really scary.

"No, I didn't--" Tharn got messed up for a second and Type used that chance to pull his hand away from older's hold.

"No no--you are right.I got dressed up like this, tried to be pretty--tried to be good looking for who?" He looked at Tharn, his eyes were already saying the fact that he tried to look nice for him. "I deserve to get pulled into dark rooms when I look pretty, I deserve to get treated like this." He pointed at Tharn, who was taken aback. "I was just..--" He pressed his lips together before looking down, he didn't seem mad or anything, actually Tharn was surprised at the fact that he still didn't get punched but he hated the look on Type's face, he actually preferred to get punched instead of seeing younger like that.

"I was stupid to think that you wouldn't make me feel the same." He said in a low tone as he looked at Tharn.

Older actually wanted to say something, he wanted to stop Type when he just walked away but he couldn't.Cause he knew that something happened, he couldn't realize it with the heat of the moment but he was sure he said something to make Type change like that.

Type didn't say anything else, he didn't even look around but he directly stormed out of the place.He wasn't pissed off and it was weird, he would be cursing on the streets until he reached home but nothing, he did really nothing.

He took the longer route to home, his eyebrows were not even furrowed at all.

He was actually so used to feel angry, that was why it felt strange to not being able to be angry.

But it just didn't happen.

He started to hang out with Tharn cause he felt it, the thing Tharn said after their first night.Type felt it earlier, that guy made him feel different than others and Type felt it.During the times they spent together there wasn't a single second Tharn made him feel like how he used to feel, until tonight.

Type could still remember that day.Huge boxes arrived their orphanage, they said they were from benefactors and Type was actually surprised when he saw the beautiful clothes inside them.Everyone around him caressed his cheek or patted his hair that day, told him that he looked so pretty in that new clothes.

It was the first day the father in his dreams pulled him to a corner.

He turned his phone off after seeing Tharn not giving up but calling him again and again.

He didn't want to fight, he didn't want to do anything,  
it was really awkward,  
but he felt sleepy.

He just wanted to go home and sleep.

"Well, I didn't expect this night to end like this." Techno mumbled as he watched his friend climbing up stairs without saying a word.


	13. Let Your Heart Breathe

When they looked at him from outside, Type seemed strange.He seemed different, he seemed like someone so simple.But he was so complicated inside, even more than he thought.Actually him being like this wasn't a strange thing like others thought, yes he wasn't smiling a lot, he didn't had a lot of memories of smiling.Yes he was always on alert, not being able to fall into sleep quickly even when he was dead tired, cause he spent nights without blinking to make sure that nobody came close to him.He didn't know how to use a soft tone, cause nobody actually expected that from him.He was always frowning, always assuming the worst and not trusting people, cause nobody turned out to be good, at least not to him.

Was it his fault? Becoming someone like this?

He knew it too, it wasn't like he was denying it.He knew it, he had those moments when he actually wanted to touch Tharn out of blue, like those girls did to their boyfriends.He had a lot of nights where he watched other couples in the bar, trying to understand how they were able to pull those moves so easily.He knew it too, he knew he wasn't returning Tharn's warm smiles, he knew he wasn't going all soft like him, he knew it all.But he just couldn't change it even if he wanted to, he was trying, really, he was putting his everything in it and trying to get a little bit softer, at least when they were alone with Tharn behind the closed doors.He was trying to show him that he trusted him enough to do that, he liked him enough to let him overpower him like that.He was trying, maybe he wasn't the best, but he was really trying.

He didn't really know why, somehow Tharn became that bench, he became that book he never wanted to let go.He became the only thing Type wanted to possess.That was why he was trying, he could see the way Tharn's eyes got so shiny every time he gave him small touches, he could see it, even with something so small Tharn was being happy and it just made Type feel like, he wanted that.He wanted those eyes to keep looking at him like that.

But he didn't know Tharn's side, older already got used to his personality.He knew Type would never actually touch him in that way when they were in public, he knew he wasn't allowed to give kisses or intimate touches if they were not in a dark and loud bar, he knew if they were not alone in a room Type would never get closer to him like that.

That was the exact problem.It was where they lost contact.

Tharn always showed his love, his touches, his eyes, his special tone, the way he always smiled at him while drumming, even with that stupid tea bags, he showed it.But Type only showed it behind doors and he wasn't doing that for a long time.It was the reason why Tharn started to get insecure about it.Younger wasn't sleeping with him for a long time and it was the only time he felt Type also loved him.Everybody could say that they were not suitable, Thorn could keep telling him that Type wasn't someone to trust, others could comment that he didn't like him as much as Tharn liked him; as long as Tharn saw Type looking at him with that eyes, talking to him in that tone and kissing him softly like that, he didn't care, he wouldn't.Cause he knew it, it was there, he could see it.

Lately he wasn't able to see that and Thorn being there, always standing right beside him and talking about Type and why they should break up wasn't helping at all.

Type didn't know about his feelings, his thoughts cause Tharn was trying to deal with them himself.He didn't want to make Type handle with more than he already had in his plate.But he also didn't know the fact that younger never really felt like this.

He wasn't in a state to understand but it was the first time Type's heart got broken like that.

He didn't show it, he was used to hide his feelings and act like he hated something when he was actually loving it inside.It was like an instinct now, he didn't even know how to reverse it.

But he was really excited about that night, he really wondered the way Tharn would look at him, he wondered if he would like that; Type really got dressed up for him, but also for himself.He never dared to look good, never dared to let other people smile at him like that day, tell him that he looked good.But he felt like as long as Tharn was there, it would be fine.It has been like that all these time anyway.He didn't need to hear it from Techno when his friend told him about the way he slept with Tharn.He already knew it, he wasn't saying it loud but he went through all of it.Since from the start he actually trusted Tharn on a bigger amount than normal.He wasn't on all alert with him, and after months he found himself actually falling asleep when he was with him, like it was that easy.Like he could just close his eyes for few seconds since Tharn was there.

It wasn't something logical, Type wasn't vulnerable anymore.Most of the boys around of him was scared of him, he had things to protect himself, he had Techno, Champ; he didn't have too many reasons to stay on alert when he was at home.Nothing would happen anyway, but it wasn't just like that, something inside him just didn't let him rest.Even if he was under a roof and not like a sky like he used to, that thing kept bothering him, poking him and reminding him all those days he spent in that room.Knowing that nobody would be able to do those things to again or nobody would actually hurt him when he closed his eyes wasn't enough, it didn't work.

Cause it wasn't about his mind, it wasn't about his body.

It was about his soul.

It didn't matter how strong he was, his soul was restless.And it allowed Type to close his eyes for a while when Tharn was around.

It wasn't logical, but it was real.

"Type? What's wrong?"

He heard Techno's voice and opened his eyes, he was laying on his bed, didn't change his clothes or anything.He just layed down like that.

"Dude..What happened?" Techno's tone got worried as he took a step in and looked at Type's face, it wasn't an expression he used to see on him.

"I don't know." Type replied, looking at him for a while before closing his eyes again. "I don't know." He repeated in a lower tone, which caused No to got even more worried.Cause if something happened between Tharn and Type, his friend would come there with a mad face, probably with red knuckles because of punching his boyfriend and his voice would make No grimace since he would yell and keep cursing at Tharn.

But Type seemed completely calm, too calm and tired to be true.Even the way he looked at No for few seconds were so scary for him, scarier than the fiery eyes No was used to see.

He seemed, _sad._

Type actually fell asleep after his friend left the room, feeling like this was out of his league and not wanting to bother him since Type looked really tired.Tharn called him and texted but Techno chose to ignore him this time, his gut told him he shouldn't intervene.

Type couldn't sleep for a long time.He woke up in fear, quickly sitting on bed and backing off as he grabbed the sheets tightly.It took him few seconds to realize it was a dream and he started to take deep breathes.It wasn't happening for the first time anyway, those nightmares were a part of his life.Nobody knew it with detail, nobody actually asked, nobody wanted to know.But Type kept getting pulled into that dark room, for a year.And the things he endured there when he was a small kid, was horrible enough to make him lose his breathe and woke up in sweat when he was a grown up.

He put his hand over his chest when he realized his breathe wasn't turning back to normal.

It used to happen a lot, he knew he would wake up like that, keep repeating the same scenes inside his head and feeling the pain, remembering the hands, the smell, everything until he calmed himself down.

But it wasn't going back to normal.

He quickly stood up from bed as he tried to take a deep breath but he felt like he wasn't able to.His chest was moving too fast, his heart felt like it was trying to get out of his chest and after few more forced breaths it went worse.His hands started to tremble harder when he realized this wasn't normal, it wasn't the same thing he handled for years, something different was happening and Type didn't know how to stop it.

He let out a strange sound when he tried to take another breath, he was feeling like he wasn't getting enough air when there was no reason for it.

He threw himself towards the door and opened it in rush.The way he breathed became worse when he leaned on the wall, making a weird noise when his chest pain got sharper, causing him to grab his shirt tightly.

"No!" He managed to call his friend, his voice was completely freaked out.He tried to talk again but his shortness of breath wasn't allowing him to.

"Type!"

He heard two people shouting his name when he dropped on the floor, not being able to realize one of them was Tharn until they ran upstairs.

"Type!---What's happening?!" Techno was more than surprised, the tone of his friend's face didn't seem okay and he was obviously having hard time with breathing.

"Type---Type!" Tharn quickly got on the floor and grabbed the boy's cheeks. "What's wrong? Look at me." He held his face up as he grabbed his cheeks but Type closed his eyes, shaking his head to sides.He wanted to talk but he couldn't, so he started to hit his chest as he took another short and weird sounded breath.

"What's happening?!" Techno was more than panicked.He would probably think it was the most normal scene ever if Type was stabbed or got shot, but this was too scary for him.

"He's having a panic attack." Tharn mumbled after being sure that he wasn't hurt.

"A..--what?" Techno couldn't believe his ears.

"Type---it's fine, hey---look at me." He tried as he grabbed Type's cheeks again but younger was still the same.

"I..---I can't---b-breathe—" He managed to say as his short breaths turned into sobs.He grabbed Tharn's shoulders instinctively like he wanted him to stop this. "T-Tharn—" He said, looking at older's eyes desperately and causing him to gulp.Yes, Type let him see his vulnerable side, yes he told him his story, cried between his arms and everything, but that look was above all of those.He felt Type's fingers grabbing on his shirt tighter as the boy tried to take breaths but kept struggling.

He knew it was his fault, he knew something he said, something he did caused this cause the boy already told him about his past but not everything.Type never told him about the things happened inside that room, and thinking that it kept happening for a year was enough for Tharn to not dare to ask.He already couldn't handle the idea of Type's smaller and more vulnerable, sweeter version being inside a room with someone like that, no, Tharn wasn't that brave.

"What should we do?! Type! Is he gonna—"

"Calm down." Tharn quickly stopped Techno when he was being so loud and panicking.Actually he was panicked inside, more than No, but he seemed really calm outside since he knew how to deal with these kind of stuff.But knowing that and seeing it happening to Type was different.

"Calm down." Tharn repeated as he looked at Type, getting closer to him on the floor as he kept his completely calm face in front of the struggling boy. "Type." He said softly, his large hands caressing the panicked boy's cheeks before holding the sides of his head gently. "You can breathe---it's okay—look at me." He tilted his head to be able to look younger in the eyes again. "No—No Type." He didn't let younger look anywhere else when Type hit on his shoulders to make him understand that it wasn't okay.Techno was also very scared and panicked, he never saw someone having an attack, plus it was Type, he would be much calmer if he was bleeding or something.

"You are okay—nothing is happening, it's all fine." Tharn kept talking in a comforting tone which caused Type to furrow his eyebrows cause he was literally choking there while the man was looking at him so calmly.

Tharn moved one of his hands to younger's chest and rubbed it around his heart.

"Nothing is happening—I'm here." Type seemed like he was going to pass out soon as Tharn kept drawing circles on his chest. "I need you to breathe, Type."

Type shook his head no with that, causing Techno to turn his back at them since he couldn't stand to see his friend like that.He seemed really desperate, he seemed like, he wasn't Type.

"Nobody is here—It's only me baby, don't you trust me?" Tharn's voice got softer as he forced younger to look at him, like he was trying to cause Type to notice how calm he was to stop and also get calm instead of panicking.He didn't know it, he wasn't actually aware of it but the first time he called Type _'baby'_ was when he told him about his past.He was never calling him names since he thought Type didn't like it and he didn't want to push younger more since he was already struggling, but he saw the way Type looked at him this time.He caught it.

"It's okay, everything's okay baby." He repeated, his hand finding its way back to Type's face and brushing his hair back.He saw the hesitation in Type's eyes when he used that word and he was so gonna take advantage of it.

"Relax—see? You can breathe." He said as he grabbed the boy's hand and placed it his own chest to make him feel it. "I need you to do it slowly—" He placed Type's other hand on his chest and took a breath, looking at Type like he wanted him to do the same. Younger's eyes were finally focused on Tharn's when he felt his own chest movements, feeling like he could do it.He tried to take a breath, not panicked as before but still feeling trapped.Type had his monsters, it wasn't news for him but he thought he actually knew how to live with them.That night caused his monsters to drag him back inside that dark room.But he managed to take a normal breath when he felt Tharn's heartbeats.Cause the man seemed disturbingly calm from outside, but his heart was almost beating as fast as Type's.

He was gripping on Tharn's chest when he closed his eyes and leaned back on the wall.Nobody said anything as he kept the calm pace of breathing.

Techno always knew Type went through something, something that he would never tell him, he could see it.This scene made him realize that it was much worse than Techno thought, something really fucked him up so bad like this.

Tharn finally sighed, seeing Type breathing normally and getting over it.

"I'm so sorry..—I'm..so sorry." He kept mumbling while holding younger's hands, dropping his head down and leaning it against Type's stomach.It was when Techno realized it was actually Tharn who caused this, triggering something and making this happen.That was why he seemed so miserable, kept repeating that he was sorry again and again.He got even more surprised when Tharn tried to pull back after all of them had enough time to get recovered.He lifted his head and tried to get up, but Techno saw the way Type's hand holding older's hand tight when he tried to move away.He wasn't looking at Tharn, the back of his head was leaning against the wall and his eyes were closed.

"I will..—get you some water." Tharn said as he patted on younger's hand but Type kept his hold.

"I will get it." Techno said, earning a nod from Tharn before going downstairs.

He rubbed his forehead and sighed loudly after walking into the kitchen, he would imagine anything and everything, even the most impossible thing was possible against Type having a panic attack.

It really shook No to the core.

He didn't utter any word, he knew Type would feel even worse if Techno would look at him with worried eyes and asks questions.So he let them be after getting him some water.

It was really shocking, both of them were surprised and shook after seeing Type like that.But they also realized something they didn't really see before, they both knew Type liked Tharn, it was obvious.But even Tharn didn't think he liked him enough to hold onto him like that when Tharn was the one who caused him to get in that situation.It made him feel like an asshole, remembering the way he treated younger few hours ago when Type actually loved him enough to still trust him.The regret already hit him after a while, he was going to apologize, he came there to apologize after realizing what he did but this whole thing made him feel more than awful.He didn't want to be the person who caused this, he was trying to be the shoulder Type leaned on, not this.

"It never happened before." Techno said when Tharn walked downstairs, Type went into his room without saying anything to Tharn and after hearing the voice of the water, he realized younger went to take a shower.

"Man...--That was so scary." Techno mumbled before rubbing his face, feeling really confused and worried at the same time. "What are you doing?" He looked at Tharn after seeing him grabbing his jacket and phone.

"I don't think he wants to see me, No." He said, his tone was really down and his face already showed how bad he was feeling at the moment.

"I think he wants to see you the most now." Techno said. "He..—" Techno hesitated before licking his lips, shaking his head. "He can't sleep easily and if you go he will stay awake till the morning."

"But he—"

"He sleeps when you are with him." Techno said, causing Tharn to pause for a while and look at him. "I don't know what's this about but—I think he needs you right now, Tharn." He stood up and grabbed his keys. "I think I should leave you alone for a while." He looked at Tharn. "Fix this or I will make Champ shoot you in the foot." He patted on Tharn's shoulder before going out and Tharn closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

He never felt this disappointed in himself.

He really wanted to go out and walk away from Type cause he couldn't believe he was the one who caused this to happen, he was the one who made Type lose himself like that.

He kept seeing the way Type looked at him while trembling, the way he relaxed after hearing his words; he really said those things to that person, blamed him for not liking him.

He didn't realize how long he stood there but he turned his head and looked upstairs when there was no sound of the water anymore.After few more minutes he walked to younger's room, but he couldn't just open the door and walk in.What he was gonna say? Saying sorry was really enough? No, it wasn't.Type would never say it loud like him but this time Tharn really hurt him.He hurt him and Type still held his hand like that, instead of telling him to go away, instead of saying he was responsible for all of this, he just wanted Tharn to stay there for a little more.

He couldn't dare to open the door, he just sat in front of younger's door and took his head between his hands.

It was the first time Tharn couldn't take action.His heart wasn't letting him go away, he didn't want to leave Type, not on a night like this but he also didn't have the face to walk in and sleep beside him.

But he had to.

Nobody knew it, only they did.They had a strange and strong bond and it was telling Tharn that even he would get punched for few times, even he had to spend the night on the floor, even Type told him to go away, he had to stay.Cause he could feel that Type wanted him there.It was the thing which made him feel really terrible cause he blamed younger for not wanting him in the same way as him.

He saw Type sitting on the corner of his bed when he walked in, he was only wearing his black boxers and the way he stared at the wall was making it obvious that he was still not completely okay.Tharn knew he was shocked too, he probably didn't expect something like that to happen to him.

"Type..." He mumbled after closing the door but not really daring to walk further in, he just stood close to the door like that.

Tharn thought he felt disappointed, awful and horrible but he realized those feelings were nothing when Type turned his head and looked at him with his bambi-like eyes.  
Now he was feeling bad in a way words couldn't describe, he didn't want to believe he caused Type's pretty eyes to seem so lost and tired like that.

"We need to talk." Type said and Tharn felt like his heart just dropped on the floor.

This didn't feel right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My english is not that good but I tried to make it easier for you guys to understand Type's feelings...  
> Hope it worked. Thank y'all for reading~ <3


	14. Surrendering

Tharn's eyes landed on the clothes on the floor, Type threw them on the floor before taking a shower and it caused him to close his eyes, sighing and feeling the pain inside his chest.

He really broke his heart like that.

It was such a simple but innocent move, Type really did it for him and he made the boy feel filthy like he wasn't allowed to look good.

"Type, I..." He stopped, not knowing how to start as he slowly approached to the bed and sat beside younger with a big amount of gap between them.

"Do you really think that I was flirting with him?" Type suddenly asked as he looked at Tharn and older one quickly shook his head.

"No---no, I swear—it was because of me, it wasn't your fault—I'm really sorry, Type.I'm the only one who was at wrong." He scooted closer but still not close enough. "I just got jealous and...--I still can't believe that someone like you is with me." He said in a lower tone as he looked down at the bed. "I just..—I..." He rubbed his face after another sigh, Type was actually watching him but he didn't know it since his head was hanging down. "I just think that.. you deserve so much better and it makes me feel like... you can walk away from me anytime." He mumbled, causing Type to tilt his head and look at him since younger didn't expect to hear something like that.

He was the street dog like that guy said, for God's Sake, he couldn't even dream of having someone like Tharn.

"It's just... lately a lot of things keep happening and—it's not an excuse for what I did, even though it wouldn't trigger you it was still wrong, I know." He kept looking down and Type just looked at the back of his head, really wondering what he did.He actually thought about it before, was it because of the little pup he saved during that rainy night? Or was it because of the small girl who sent him a kiss and smiled after Type caught his balloon before it fled away? God never gave him anything and what was this now? Why he was offering Tharn to him out of nowhere?

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again—I swear." He kept talking but he was still not looking at Type and younger knew how he felt.He didn't need to say it loud, Type remembered the way his heart bumped against to his chest so hard.Tharn was trying to seem all cool to pull him back but Type could remember the way his hands were trembling against to his cheeks as he tried to soothe him.

He sighed before reaching out to Tharn's head and caressing his hair gently.The man didn't dare to look at him after he got over the attack too, he just leaned his head on younger and kept apologizing.Type wasn't dumb enough to not see the way Tharn was already regretful.

"I still need to say what I should say." Type said while pulling his hand away and Tharn lifted his head, looking at him with the fear in his eyes.

"Type..." It was just a mumble but it carried a lot of emotions, Tharn would really do anything for Type to not break up with him and the way boy looked at him so calmly was making him understand that he was gonna break it off with him.

"I won't be like that again, I promise." Tharn got closer to him with the desperate look in his crystal clear eyes, grabbing the boy's hand as he pleaded. "I promise, Type."

The boy seemed calm as he cupped Tharn's cheek.Older would actually melt into that touch if it was some other time but even the touch made him feel scared, he felt like Type was really going to end the thing between them.

"I think we should—"

"I won't break up with you."

"—live together."

Tharn blinked for few seconds.

"What?"

"I said we should live together."

Tharn paused for another moment before looking at younger.

"Like...--in one house?" He asked with a stupid expression and Type nodded.

"It might happen again." Type looked at him, meaning the panic attack. "I don't think anyone else would be able to help me." Tharn got even more surprised and looked at younger with puzzled eyes when Type grabbed the sides of his head and leaned his forehead against Tharn's.He did it so calmly and easily like it was something so usual, but it wasn't.

"Only you can do it." Type mumbled and Tharn was watching the way younger closed his eyes, his hand caressing Tharn's nape while older was still confused about this all.He expected a fight, he expected Type to punch him, probably throw few things at him.

"But..." He finally started talking after enjoying the position for a while. "..I was the one who caused it, something I said...--" Tharn watched younger's peaceful face as he cupped his cheeks and moved closer. "...made you remember those times, right?" He asked in a low tone and saw Type opening his eyes.

"You didn't know." Type said and Tharn's scared big eyes made him smile softly. "I know you wouldn't say it if you knew."

"No Type—I wouldn't, I would never—I'm sorry." Tharn quickly shook his head, talking in a pleading tone as his thumbs caressed the boy's cheeks.

"Let's live together." Type repeated, closing his eyes again as his face seemed even more tired now. "I know that I'm not good at showing it but... I love you, Tharn." He mumbled while resting his forehead against to older's like that and Tharn could only stare at his face.Type saying the love word was something but he did it when Tharn was actually expecting a break up.

"I never needed something but I need you." Tharn was still sitting there with a surprised face when Type wrapped his arms around of his shoulders and leaned his cheek on older's. "I like that I need you." He mumbled, his eyes were still closed when Tharn collected himself and hugged him back.Feeling older's fingers inside his hair made him lean against to his cheek harder, rubbing them together like he needed to feel that Tharn was still there and he wasn't going away.

"I love you too." Tharn mumbled against to his skin, pressing a kiss beside his ear before tightening his hold and pulling younger closer like it was possible.He never saw Type being this docile, it was the first time he spoke his mind so freely like that and Tharn knew it was probably the effect of the attack.Those kind of attacks caused people to realize they could actually die in a second, plus Type's condition was even worse.That was why he wanted to say it loud at least for once, especially after hearing Tharn's thoughts.

Honestly, he wasn't feeling mad at Tharn.He just wanted him to stay and Type was really too tired to keep fighting with himself, pushing Tharn away when he actually wanted him.

Just like No said, nobody cared, nobody really give a damn if Type wanted be hugged like that, nobody give a damn if he wanted Tharn to caress his hair and call him baby; more importantly, Type didn't give a damn anymore.

He was too tired.

His ego, proud, manly side, everything inside him that didn't want to let Tharn love him in the way he wanted, were tired.

That was why he let the older pull him under the sheets and held him close.Type didn't want to create a fight, break up with him and kept being mad at himself for doing that.No, he wanted Tharn to hold him like that.

He snuggled closer and actually fell asleep quickly since he felt like every inch of his body was dying to take some rest.He didn't know how long he slept but he woke up all of sudden, letting out a choked breathe and not being able to calm down until he realized it was another nightmare.He then looked up and saw Tharn's sleeping face.He patted on Type's head for few times in his sleep, probably felt the way younger moved but not enough to wake up.

Type slowly pulled himself up and looked at Tharn's face.

Was it because of that homeless guy he took to a restaurant and treated a meal? He really had to do something for getting on world's good side, he couldn't believe someone like Tharn was actually that much in love with him.Type used to don't trust anyone, he was still the same against others, but not to Tharn cause the man was completely clear.Type saw the fear in his eyes when he thought he was going to break up with him, but the thing which made him feel precious was the way Tharn didn't accept it.

Nobody actually took a fight for him before, but a wholesome guy like Tharn was actually scared to lose him.

It didn't feel real at all.

So Type closed his eyes and nuzzled his face against the guy's neck, feeling the way Tharn's chest moved up and down, feeling the warmness of his skin; now it felt real.Tharn was real, the thing he felt was real.

A big part of him wanted to break up with Tharn when he came back home and layed on his bed.That part kept telling him that Tharn was same with others, with him, he treated him the same.The way older acted really got him so messed up cause he wasn't expecting it, that was why he was always on guard and never actually trusted others.This way he wasn't getting so surprised, but with Tharn his all guards were down and seeing the way he blamed it on him shook Type really bad.

Before Tharn, he only had that part and honestly, if Tharn would act like that earlier Type would definitely kick him on the balls before breaking it off with him.But now he had another part inside him, that part kept telling him that Tharn wouldn't want to hurt him.Even the other part was with him for so long, even if it kept saying that Tharn looked at him like that man, other part was forcing him to remember the way Tharn caressed his hair every time he thought Type was sleeping.The time they spent together was really something else, even saying it was special wouldn't be enough.It was strong enough to win over Type's bigger side, making him stop thinking like that since Tharn wasn't someone else.He was the man who looked at Type like he was so pure, when he wasn't.Not even close.

He grimaced when he felt something on his face and tried to not smile when he realized it was Tharn's lips.

"Ai'Tharn." He whined, putting his hand against the guy's chest as he opened his eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked but it caused Tharn to pull him closer to himself on bed and place few more kisses on his cheeks.

"Thaarn—" He tried to move away but Tharn squeezed him against to his body with a sigh.Type couldn't hide his smile when the man rubbed his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." He kept repeating against to younger's skin while leaving pecks all over his shoulder.

"Stop it already---hey!—" Type chuckled with his sleepy face before hitting Tharn's shoulder but older didn't stop squeezing him in a way people would love kids and pets. "—What am I? A baby?" He hit the guy's shoulder again and it caused Tharn to stop rubbing his nose against Type's neck, lifting his head up and looking at him for the first time.Type paused for a moment when he looked at his boyfriend's messy hair and morning face, making him seem even hotter like it was possible.

"Aren't you?" Tharn's playful smile appeared. "I thought we agreed about you being my baby." He said in a lower tone as he leaned closer and rubbing his nose against Type's before nuzzling against his face.

"I never agreed on that."

"I didn't."

"You did." Tharn kept grinning as he pecked the boy's lips, who was furrowing his eyes and looking at him but not actually pushing him away. "You did—you did, you did—" He didn't stop pecking and it caused Type to chuckle before grabbing older's shoulder to back away and look at him.

"Stop it, I already—" He couldn't finish when Tharn changed their position and placed his face in the crook of younger's neck.

"I can be your baby then." He said in a soft tone and since Tharn wasn't able to see his face, Type allowed himself to smile a little.

"You are too big to be a baby."

"Typeeee..." He whined and Type's smile went wider when older tilted his head and revealed his familiar pout.

"I won't call you that." Type said, raising one eyebrows and hearing Tharn's defeated sigh.

"You put some clothes on--" He said as his hand caressed the boy's bare shoulder softly. "--I will get us something to eat." 

Type nodded and watched older leaving the bed.He sighed, closing his eyes and staying in bed for few more minutes, he was about to get up when he heard the ringtone.He thought it was his phone but then found Tharn's phone in the bed sheets.

It was P'San.

"Can you give me a break?" Type said while rubbing his forehead before answering the call.

_"Where are you Tharn? We called you all night and--"_

"He's with me." He interrupted the guy and caused him to pause for a second.

 _"Really? I thought you guys had a fight."_ He said, changing his tone since he realized it was Type.

"Didn't you see the part he ran after me?" Type said.

_"Do you think it's something to be proud of?"_

"Are you proud of yourself when you keep trying to get a man who has a boyfriend?" He snapped.

_"I'm his--"_

"I don't care." He didn't let him finish. "Tharn is mine and you better get that into your damn thick skull." He said before ending the call and getting up.

Putting everything aside, that San guy was really getting on his nerves and seeing Thorn liking him that much was also pissing Type off.He was right, San was the perfect guy for anyone, girls or boys, didn't matter.Of course Thorn liked him and would want him instead of Type,  
but that was not gonna happen.

He put on a tank top and his shorts before walking downstairs.Tharn wasn't around and he probably headed out since there wasn't a lot of thing to eat in the house.Type ruffled his hair and sighed deeply, remembering the things from yesterday.

Actually Tharn offered him to stay with him, more than few times but of course Type always said no.After seeing the way Tharn got so scared of losing him, even the other side in him which kept telling him people didn't like him that much, even his mother left him after all, so everyone could, including Tharn.

Older told him a lot of 'I love you's but he felt the way Tharn's hands went colder while holding his hands and telling him to be calm.It was the first time Type experienced something like this, he never had a panic attack and he never had someone who tugged on him like that, afraid that Type would slip away.

Tharn walked in after few minutes, putting keys back on their place and didn't notice Type was watching him.

"Oh--I bought it." Tharn said after seeing Type and walked towards the table, putting the bag down as he looked at Type.

"What happened?" He asked cause Type's eyes were looking at him weirdly.

"I liked the way you came in." Type said with a dead serious face and Tharn got confused, placing the things he bought on the table as he grimaced.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You didn't answer me." Type suddenly said, walking closer to the other man. 

"What?" Tharn looked at him.

"I said I want to live together." Type said, still having a damn straight face which caused Tharn to blink for a while.

"Did you...just mean that..you liked me coming back at home?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and pointing at the door.

Type nodded like it was the most normal thing ever and Tharn's face broke, he covered his mouth as his smile got wider.

"What's so funny? Asshole." Type mumbled, sitting on the chair and starting to eat.He frowned when Tharn pulled the other chair too close to him and sat down.

"The hell are you doing?"

"Do you mean that--" Tharn was grinning so wide as he tilted his head to one side cutely. "--you liked to see me coming back home?"

"Yes." Type looked at him, raising his eyebrow and throwing his annoyed stare. "So what?"

"God..." Tharn put her elbow on the table as he covered his face and Type saw him smiling like an idiot. 

"I also liked to see you carrying bags." He mumbled after a while, looking at his plate with a tiny smirk before eating.

"You really..." Tharn rubbed his face, his smile not leaving his face as he tried to get himself together.Cause he knew Type had rough time about accepting their relationship, he was always having insecurities about getting treated like a woman and now him saying these things like that obviously showed he didn't think about those things anymore.

They were both distracted with their stupid smiles when someone literally barged in.

"No? Are you okay?" Tharn asked first when the boy walked inside, seeming like someone was actually running after him.

"Did someone--" Type quickly got alarmed, standing up and thinking someone they got involved before tried to do something to him.But Techno shook his hand aggressively, causing Tharn and Type to look at each other, both not understanding what happened.

"There--" Tharn handed him a glass of water and they were watching the boy as he sat across them, drinking it all like he didn't drink water for days.

"Are you okay?" Techno asked to Type and he quickly nodded.

"What happened to you?" Type asked and Techno gulped before biting his lips, looking at Tharn before looking back at Type.

"I slept with Champ." He said right before letting his face fall on the table.

Tharn and Type were looking at each other when someone started to knock on the door.

"Oh..." Type tried to hide his smile when they heard Champ's voice.

"You are not opening the door." Techno aimed his index finger at them. "Nobody's is opening the door."

They both nodded, their face seeming funny as they tried to not laugh loud.

"Don't laugh---it's not funny! I fucking slept with him---what do I fucking do now?!" Techno whined before cupping his face with a crying expression, Champ still knocking on the door.

"At least you are getting laid." Tharn mumbled but quickly looked away when Type threw him a murderous look.

"You are not gonna get something for a while, I still didn't forget the way you talked to me."

"What?" Tharn put his fork down, Techno sighing and Champ still calling for him and knocking on the door aggressively in the background. "But you said you wanna live with me!"

No grabbed a piece of bread, throwing it into his mouth and trying to get calm.

"So?" Type looked at him innocently, chewing his food. "I wanna live with you, I don't want your thing in me."

Techno stuck his tongue out in disgust, letting the bread fall down as he felt like puking.

"My thing wants you though." Tharn pouted, mumbling as he turned back to his food.

"I know you are in there, Techno! Come on!" Champ kept hitting the door and Techno facepalmed.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Techno suddenly stood up, slapping the table with his hands and causing others to get surprised.

"His thing---inside you?" He pointed at Tharn and then Type. "I thought...you were fucking him." He said in a lower tone, this time pointing at Type first and then Tharn.

"What?!" Type got surprised and Tharn looked at him.

"See? I told you, people thought you were the one doing it while you kept whining about me treating you like a girl." He said but Type glared at him.

"Do you wanna wait more to get laid?"

Tharn quickly shook his head no.

"Then eat your damn food." 

The man nodded before tilting his head down and eating quietly.

"He's gonna break the god damn door." He glared at Techno this time. "I'm letting him in." He stood up and Techno panicked.

"No---Type!"

"Type." Tharn tried but Type threw him a look and he sat down again.

"I'm locking myself in my room!" Techno rushed upstairs as he saw his friend walking to the door.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked to Champ, who literally ran inside after he opened the door.

"Where's Techno?"

"He's traumatized." Tharn answered, still eating calmly.

"Did you really have sex?" Type asked and Champ's worried face fell off, he started to smile before covering his mouth.

"Man---I really did it.I still can't believe--"

Type sighed, rolling his eyes.

He couldn't believe Techno thought he was topping Tharn, it made him angry somehow.He sighed deeply and hit his spoon on the table, startling Tharn while Champ was already upstairs and trying to make Techno open the door.

"I can't believe he didn't know who fucked who---he is supposed to be my bestfriend!" He said, feeling annoyed and aiming his fork at the older when Tharn smiled.

"Don't you dare."

"I didn't even say anything."

"Shut up." He said angrily and stayed quiet for a while, they were both listening the way Champ begged the boy but then Type put his spoon on the table again, hitting it loudly and making Tharn look at him.

"What now?" The guy seemed amused.

"Does your Phi..---does he think that I'm topping you?"

Tharn stopped for a moment, puckering his lips and thinking about it.

"I never told him about the way I switched.I didn't stop seeing him because he topped me, I told him that it was a mistake."

"You never talked about the details?" Type seemed horrified.

"Not really." Tharn shook his head no and Type's eyes turned around the whole room, suddenly feeling disturbed by it.He thought people thinking he was the one who did it would actually make him happy but hell no, he felt like they needed to know Tharn was topping him.

Tharn was back to eating when Type slammed his spoon down again and causing the man to sigh tiredly.

"Are you sure that he has no clue?" He asked again and Tharn facepalmed.


	15. Home Sweet Home

"Come on No, it's been a day.You have to leave your room." Champ said, sighing in front of the boy's door.He actually stayed over night but Techno didn't leave his room and he was really stubborn about not talking to him.

"We have a job tomorrow, you will see me anyway.What's the point of--"

"Give me a minute." Type suddenly pushed him away and Champ watched him with surprised eyes as the other knocked on the door.

"No, open the door.It's me, I need to tell you something."

"Are you fucking serious?!" Champ glared at the door when they heard him unlocking it.

"Hey." Type quickly stopped him, grabbing his shoulder when Champ was about to walk in. "You are not going in until he lets you." He said in a serious tone and Champ rolled his eyes, taking a step back and watching Type walking in, pouting after hearing the lock again.

"What am I gonna do?! Why is he not leaving?!" Techno was freaking out just like yesterday and he was whispering to not let the other guy hear it.

"Cause he likes you and he wants to fuck you again." Type said with a smirk and Techno got dumbfounded for a moment.

"I can't believe I did it and---I don't know Type--How am I supposed to look at him in the eyes and--"

"Stop being dramatic, I need to ask you something." Type stopped him and Techno blinked. "Do we look like I'm topping Tharn?"

Techno tilted his head, raising his eyebrows and judging Type with his eyes.

"I'm going through a goddamn life crisis and--- Are you fucking serious?!"

"Is it because we are on same height and same built? He is still broader though."

Techno grabbed his hair and kept turning back to walking around his room in panic.

"If you think that I will stop trying just because you are acting like this, you are wrong No." Champ said from the other side of the door.

"I thought it was obvious!" Type said and Techno took a deep breathe. "I mean---I went through a lot of thing cause I thought people actually knew it since it was obvious and...are you telling me that it wasn't obvious?!"

"Are you being dramatic over people not knowing Tharn topping you?" Techno asked calmly, being five seconds away from slapping the shit out of his friend.

"Yes!" Type answered angrily, causing No to close his eyes and sigh deeply.

"I thought you wanted others to think you were topping!"

"Is it because I have a bad mouth?! Why would people think that?!"

"Excuse me?" Techno looked at him like he was so stupid. "I don't know, maybe because he follows you around like a puppy, does everything you want and you keep fucking being a rude bitch and ordering him around?!---God..." He rolled his eyes. "Did you even see any bottom in your life?"

Type kept blinking and Techno pointed at himself.

"I told you that I slept with Champ, did you ask me who topped?"

"Obviously Champ."

"Yes." Techno put a mean smile on his face. "You never act like a bottom, that's why.Now please leave me alone and let me suffer in peace."

"Bottom?" Type mumbled. "How do I act like a damn bottom?!"

"Can you guys let me in too?"

"Shut up, Champ!" They both yelled to the door at the same time, causing Champ to sigh.

"Start with being cute."

"What?" Type grimaced.

"Hug him, sit on his lap or---Why do you even want him to know that he is topping you?" Techno asked, getting confused.

"That jackass is thinking I'm topping Tharn." Type started to explain, standing in front of Techno who was really, really dumbfounded by the way Type took this too serious. "So he is picking a fight with me and thinking that he can snitch Tharn since in his eyes we are both on the same level." He hit his palm with his other hand like he was making points of a very serious topic and Techno looked at him with lost eyes.

"But we are not on the same level!" He yelled, hitting on his hand again and making Techno get startled. "I'm on a higher level!"

"What?" Techno didn't get his point.

"He thinks it's a war and he has advantage since he is the top of dreams, which is true and that's why I want to punch him but--" He smirked, looking at Techno and causing him to get scared. "He is not even in my league."

"I'm getting scared, please leave my room."

"What are you guys talking about? Let me in!" Champ tried again.

"You know that you are my best friend, right?" Type suddenly said, smiling as he placed his hand on Techno's shoulder.

"Type..." Techno knew something was up.

"And you helped me a lot during all of this so, I wanna help you too." 

Techno watched him with scared eyes when Type unlocked the door and grabbed the key.

"Don't you dare--- Type!" He screamed but it was too late, Type pushed Champ in and locked the door on them.

"You told me to face with my problems! You should do it too!" He grinned, ignoring his friend's screams as he went downstairs.

"Hello?" He answered the call, Techno was still screaming in the background when he stepped outside of the house.

"Oh--I was gonna tell you to come out." Tharn smiled, hanging up after he saw younger walking out and Type got startled, seeing his boyfriend in front of his car.

"What are you doing here---Hey." He backed away when Tharn grabbed his wrists and pulled him close.

"I thought we could have breakfast together."

"What's this creepy smile on your face?" Type furrowed his eyebrows.

"I just want to have breakfast with my boyfriend, is it too much to ask?"

Type looked at him suspiciously before nodding. 

"Fine, I need to leave them alone for a while anyway." He said, causing Tharn to look at the apartment.

"Did he let him in?"

"No, I locked them in." Type said with a smirk before getting on the car and Tharn smiled, shaking his head like it was something he expected from Type as he got on the driver seat.

"You know that I don't like these places." Type looked at him after seeing Tharn pulling over a fancy place.Tharn knew younger hated when Tharn payed for things but he wasn't going to let him protest this time.

"I'm not eating here." Type said with a straight face.

"Fine." Tharn pouted. "I sometimes forget that you don't even allow me to treat you a meal." He mumbled in a lower tone, starting the engine again. "I don't know what's the point of having money if I can't spend it on my boyfriend." He grabbed the steering wheel and glanced at Type, it took few seconds for younger to sigh and open the door.

He didn't say anything but it was enough for Tharn to grin and quickly get off the car.

They were already eating when Tharn pressed his lips together and looked at him.

"So... about living together thing..." A small smile appeared on his lips as his eyes kept watching Type eating his breakfast without giving attention to him at all. "Do you want me to move to your place?" He asked and that caused Type to try to not smile, cause he liked the way Tharn knew Type wouldn't move into his place.It was actually amazing to see Tharn knowing Type like they knew each other for years.

"No." Type shook his head no and Tharn got confused.

"Do you want to move to my place then?" He asked, not really thinking this option was possible.

Type shook his head no again.

"I want us to move into a new place." He said and saw the way Tharn's eyes sparkled. "BUT!" He quickly said, raising his index finger and stopping Tharn before the guy was about to talk with the big smile on his face. "It's not gonna be somewhere fancy." He looked at Tharn. "We are going to pay the rent together and that means if you want a fancy place, we are not living together." He made it clear, they both knew Type wasn't able to get somewhere like Tharn lived, not even close.

Tharn's smile disappeared, his lips turned into a pout as he looked down at his plate, playing with his food.

"But..--"

"No, Tharn." Type said, knowing the guy would offer to pay it off. "I said what I said, you are living with me in a small and basic place or we are not--" he stopped himself, tilting his head and looking at Tharn as he aimed his fork at the guy. "You know what---you are living with me in a small place, there is no other option.The end."

Tharn seemed confused for a second but then his usual dazing smile appeared, causing Type to furrow his eyebrows harder since he seemed too handsome.

"Okay." Tharn mumbled, grabbing a piece as he seemed happy and Type smiled softly, shaking his head.

"You are too easy." He said. "Your family and friends will call you idiot for leaving that house and staying in a shitty place with me."

"Type." Tharn leaned closer with a serious face. "I don't think you get how serious this situation is." He said and Type grimaced. "If you tell me to live on the streets with you, I would do that too."

"Now--" Type aimed his fork at the man. "--you are just saying that to get laid."

Tharn huffed, leaning his back on the chair and pouting.

"Don't remind me."

"Are you sad?" Type tilted his head, looking at older with a mean face and smiling when Tharn nodded. "Good, be sad, you deserved it." He said with a smile and kept eating. "Don't throw me that puppy looks, you ruined my night." He stated and Tharn leaned on the table like he remembered something.

"Yes, about that---can we like, start over?"

"What?" Type looked at him with confused eyes.

"Like...--" Tharn licked his lips nervously. "Look, I'm feeling like an asshole and I know that I ruined that night--"

"You are right." Type said, with his raised eyebrows and he aimed his index finger at older when Tharn pulled out the puppy eyes card again. "Stop doing that."

"Typeee..." Tharn called his name in that familiar tone, whiny and low, he always used that when he wanted something and Type eyed him as the guy grabbed his hand which was on the table. "Tomorrow come to the bar again, with that clothes."

"No." Type quickly pulled his hand back but Tharn grabbed it again.

"Typeee~"

"I said no, Tharn.I'm not gonna--"

"But I ruined it." Tharn gave his hand a squeeze. "I can't let you remember that night when you look at that clothes.I need to fix it."

Type shook his head no.

"We already talked about it and--"

"Type." He grabbed younger's hand with both of his hands and Type sighed. "I don't know what it is but I know that it's related to...--that, and I know that you took a step, alright?" Tharn said in the softest tone ever and Type just averted his gaze, still seeming uninterested. 

"Just let me try again,--please?"

"Stop doing that." Type glared at him, seeing the puppy looks and pulling his hand away. "Just eat." He said with his furrowed eyebrows and Tharn knew it meant Type would think about it.

_**-** _

"So, did you guys talk about it or--" Type unlocked the door, his chin dropping as he saw his friend.

"Don't you dare." Techno glared at him and Type pressed his lips together, trying too hard to not laugh and covering his mouth.

"Great idea Type, great!" He said angrily, pushing his chuckling friend away to get downstairs with his wet hair. "We fucked again, great!"

"Someone told me it's a way to solve problems." 

"Shut the fuck up!" Techno screamed from downstairs, Type tried to not laugh loud as he kept hearing the voice coming from Techno's bathroom.Champ was obviously taking a shower and Type followed his friend downstairs while biting his bottom lip.

"You must be hungry."

"Type." Techno put the bowl down and glared at Type, causing him to grin harder. "Shut the fuck up." He repeated and Type just put his hands in the air, still chuckling as he left the guy alone.

_**-** _

__

Type arrived really late, he was sure Tharn's band was done with their stage.Actually he wasn't going to come, he spent an hour or more while walking around his room and staring at his new clothes.He thought wearing them again would be stupid, he wasn't a child or anything but he also kept remembering the way Tharn asked him to start over.

He kept deciding to go, and then changed his mind.

In the end he put them on really quick and left the home as soon as possible, not wanting to change his mind again.

"Type!" Tharn quickly waved at him, he was obviously waiting for him to appear and Type didn't regret his decision after seeing the bright smile on Tharn's face.

He greeted Thorn and the guy he didn't want to greet, but he had to.Honestly, Type never tried to please someone else or act kind to someone he didn't like.He was doing this for first time and it wasn't like Tharn asked him to, he was doing it because he wanted to.He wanted Thorn to like him and he knew that asshole was his friend.

"Hey." Type said and he would actually smile at Tharn's expression if they were alone cause the man seemed really excited, like a kid who just got a gift and Type knew it was because of his outfit.

He got closer to Tharn after greeting him, placing his hand on older's shoulder and wrapping the other around of him.Actually he never gave Tharn hugs as a greeting, but San was there and he felt like something was off, he didn't want to just come there and greet Tharn like others, like they were brothers or something.

"You are late, his stage is over." San said when Type pulled back and sat beside Tharn.

"It's fine." Tharn was faster than him and Type noticed the thing in his eyes, it changed after the small hug and Type knew even if it was so little, it still meant something for Tharn.Cause it was the same for him. "He had to deal with something." Tharn said while looking at his boyfriend and Type realized that older actually knew it would take time and waited for him.

The night went good, surprisingly good cause Thorn didn't make a fuss about it when Tharn opened the living together topic.

"Isn't it a waste though?" San asked, they were all drinking and chatting.Type chose to ignore him for the most, trying to not make it obvious.

"Yes, he is right." Thorn said, looking at Tharn and Type. "Moving into your place would be better." He said to Tharn. "I mean you already have everything, buying new things and starting over again would take time." He said and Type knew he was right.Tharn also knew it but he didn't say that to Type since he was okay as long as younger wanted to live with him.That's why Type chose to talk before Tharn.

"You are right, I want a new place even if it's not so logical." He chuckled, holding his beer as he looked at Thorn. "I already spend a lot of night at his place and it's not that I'm being stubborn about moving in with him." He said, throwing a look to San since he knew San was trying to imply that.

"Then what is it?" Thorn asked, seeming like he actually believed Type and was curious about the reason.

"It's just..." Type played with the beer, smiling sadly before looking at Thorn. "I never had a home before." He said, not making his tone sad or down, smiling while talking about it since he wanted Thorn to understand he wasn't trying to make him pity or anything, he was just telling the truth.

"And me moving into his place--" He pointed at Tharn with his beer, still making it sound like a simple thing when it was actually sad. "--means adding myself in his home.I don't want that."

Thorn was looking at him and actually listening when Type paused for a while.Actually he wanted to say more but making it sound easy didn't mean it was easy, he felt like if he would talk more his tone would get down, his eyes would change.He didn't want to get upset.

"You want a new home." Thorn said and Type realized that it was quiet.Tharn's arm was around of his shoulder and they were sitting really close when Type nodded.

"Not mine or his." He said. "Something that is ours." He saw Thorn nodding and he didn't turn his head to look at Tharn when he felt his boyfriend caressing his nape and placing his chin on his arm.Cause he knew Tharn understood and he knew looking at his eyes right now would make him feel sad or get teary, so he kept drinking and talking with Thorn.

He was still ignoring San, as much as possible since even looking at the guy or hearing his voice irritated him a lot.

He was really calm during the night, he didn't get angry at San's unwanted comments or annoying attempts to get himself in a conversation with Tharn.Maybe it was because of the panic attack from that day, he felt like that attack used all the damn energy in him.Or maybe it was about the way Tharn kept looking at him whole night.Actually, Type knew Tharn was really needy, he was needy in normal times and it had been really long since they had sex.Type knew he was on the edge.But he wasn't seeing it in his eyes tonight.

He looked at himself in the mirror after washing his face.

He was wearing the same outfit which made a lot of guys drool on him and fucked that night up.He was looking good, actually he was like a snack and even if he was just wearing the worst clothes ever, in Tharn's condition, the older would still look at him with hungry eyes.

But he wasn't.

Every time their eyes got connected while talking, Tharn was smiling and the only thing Type saw in his eyes was... _affection._

People could fake a lot of things, almost everything.After growing up when Type looked back and remembered the way that guy looked at him while telling him lies about wanting him as a son, the thing in his eyes wasn't love.It wasn't anything close to it, it was a disgusting thing Type didn't want to remember.

Type was a man too, he knew how desperate they could feel and him sitting beside Tharn like a gift pack wasn't making older look at him like those guys from earlier.He wasn't just there to use Type in bed, adore his beauty, or anything that man claimed himself to do.

Tharn was there to love him.

And the most amazing thing was, Type was able to feel it.He was feeling it so hard, till his soul.

Tharn wasn't aware of it but that was the thing which helped Type to got over everything, anything that he had problem with before.Every time he felt he was loved by Tharn, made it easier for him to take another step.

Cause Type was there too, to love him.

He was just a bit clumsy, a little bit scared, but he wasn't a coward.He was there too.

"You used to play at that place too! But I heard a big fight happened and you were involved---my friends were coming to listen to you cause they were being crazy for you and the singer." 

Type saw a girl sitting on his place when he turned back, obviously one of the ones who followed Tharn and his band everywhere.

Thorn and San was still sitting across the table and they were talking about something as Thorn showed him his phone screen.

Tharn saw Type approaching and didn't know what to do, he knew the girl was sitting on Type's place but he didn't want to be rude and tell her to get up.She was talking excitedly and looking at him with heart eyes.

"Type." Tharn smiled, hoping younger would understand. "I got you a new drink." He said, shaking the glass and Type found it really funny.The man was scared of him since he knew how extra Type could get.

It was good, he thought.

"Is he your friend?" She asked curiously when Type came to their side.

"Thank you." Type said, grabbing the glass. "Yes, I'm Type." He smiled at the girl before stepping between them, there were no other seats so the girl and Tharn got confused until Type pushed one of Tharn's legs with his knee, making the older open his legs before placing himself on his left thigh. "--and about that bar, actually it's really basic and filthy.I wouldn't recommend you to go there." He smiled at the girl who seemed surprised and sipped his drink.He was acting like it was the most normal thing ever so he didn't notice Tharn stopping functioning for few seconds.A small, invisible small happened as he kept drinking cause he felt the way Tharn wrapped his arm around of his belly while answering the girl.

"Oh by the way..---I'm leaving this Friday." Thorn suddenly said and Type tilted his head, still sitting comfortably on Tharn's thigh.

"What?" Tharn got surprised.

"I thought you were staying for another week." San said, Type tried to hard to not roll his eyes since he knew San would rather him to stay and stay with him because of this excuse.

"This is enough." Thorn said and Type was looking at him, knowing the guy wouldn't leave that easily.He already realized Thorn didn't trust him, he didn't blame the guy since he saw what kind of person Type was and he was worried about his brother, it was normal.But he was curious, he thought Thorn would really keep staying cause he didn't seem like he liked Type, his feelings remained the same from Type's side.

"I miss mom and dad.You know what they say--" He said to San before turning at Type. "--home sweet home." he raised his glass at the boy and Type smiled softly before hitting his glass against Thorn's and drinking.

He heard Tharn's chuckle and they both knew Thorn was convinced about their relationship.Maybe he still didn't think it would work out or didn't trust Type, but he saw enough to realize Type wouldn't hurt Tharn in the way he was scared of.

Type felt even more satisfied when he caught the way San glanced at them, he seemed exactly like Type thought, bewildered and confused.

He smirked before sipping his drink, knowing that San got all the goddamn signals he threw for hours and realized who was topping.He could see it easily since the guy wasn't making annoying comments or trying to get on Type's nerves anymore.He got quiet and he was obviously thinking, which made Type feel so damn satisfied.

He was the one Tharn drew circles around desperately to sleep together when the drummer could easily find someone to get laid.Girls and cute boys were drawing circles around Tharn in the same way, he would get laid if he wanted to.But he wanted Type.That was why San could be everything and anything, but he wasn't on Type's level.

And most importantly,  
Type was aware of his power.

"Do you hate me?" Tharn whispered to his ear when Type got too comfortable on his thigh and actually moved his ass a little bit higher.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Type said innocently before grabbing another drink and it was so hard to not laugh when the man sighed and leaned his forehead on Type's shoulder like he gave up.He knew Type wasn't gonna give it to him and he was actually torturing him.

But Type had something else in his mind, the torture part was true but it had a purpose.He was thinking about making Tharn realize that he couldn't replace Type, like, never.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please tell me your opinion (*^_^*)


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